Depression: It’s our fault.

As you all know my marriage has come to an end and the Number One contributing factor in this happening is that dirty fuckin word Depression.
In the almost 4 years I’ve been writing this stuff out the number of people who come to me suffering from one form of depression or another has risen exponentially.
I’m talking it was one in 1000 before, but now it’s more like one in 3.

Depression is a pandemic sweeping across the world and we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Why? Because we now live in a world where emotions are bad and being lazy and no longer self motivated to do anything ourselves, we run to Doctors and Governments to do something about it.

No one allows themselves to cry any more, or be angry or hurt.
People, we were given emotions for a reason. They are our release valve. They dump all the toxins in our emotions and psyche and heal us.
But with Fluoride and Artificial Sweeteners, Sugar, Antibiotic filled meats and dairy, the low fat bullshit stripping our brains of the healthy fats we need to coat it and now the medications we take in bucket loads willingly, we have depression when the smallest thing happens.
I bet you no one will have depression when the Cleansing hits and we are all having to fight for tins in the Supermarket lol

Get off your asses and take your Blob Damn life back.
We have an entire Universe full of Conscious love and light out there desperate to teach us the ways of the Universe.
All our loved ones throughout the course of our Evolutionary creation are begging us to listen to what they have to say and what do we do?
We eat cake and watch the Fucking Kardashians.

Also this ‘Labels’ bull shit and the Moral Brigade, these pain in the ass ‘Black Lives matter’ trouble makers and ‘Feminists’ etc…the governments orchestrate these little pockets of sub division so we will run to them to fix it.
Well guess what people? You get the Government you deserve.

They’re coming, and they are bringing tanks and Thought Police. So now you can’t be angry that some cops are out of control because your a Terrorist and if you say anything bad your a Terrorist and threat to the nation you live in.
Even though freedom of speech and expression are in the front of all great nations Declarations or Constitutions.

Remember when we were kids, things were so much less complicated when shit happened.
They are allowed to cry and have tantrums but when your an adult you suddenly need to focus on working and going to University and pay taxes that aren’t even legal.
We hand ourselves over to the Matrix and then wonder why we are unhappy and our souls are crying out for us to be FREE!!!!

People, please, I beg you, STOP allowing yourself the right to have a fuckin emotion. Life is shit sometimes. Its supposed to teach you the lessons YOU asked for before you came here to be you.

We are incredible Vessels of love and light and only a few of us (Empaths) understand this needs to just cry or be worried or whatever.

We have ALL had to rise above shit that when it’s over we have unclenched our butts and breathed a sigh of relief. But life’s issues aren’t the hurdles we think they are. They are stepping stones not hurdles. We place each stone there ourselves.
WE are the masters of our destiny, no God or Deity. US, we are one consciousness. We are ALL one. We are symbiotic and connected by the light in the Universe. This is why we don’t know what is beyond the edge of space because we haven’t finished creating it yet. I’ve seen it. I know how t works. I can step outside all time and see the light and why and how it works because my brian (yes I know I said Brian, watch the animated movie Igor, I LOVE that movie, it is so sweet and I feel like I’m the monster) releases its own DMT it seems without the need for the drug. We all can but mine is just obvious lol

We are ALL supposed to be like me. The way I deal with stress, the way I understand the Universe, the way I leave all the big stuff to fate, my gift is nothing if we are all like it and if everyone was more like me in terms of this gift stuff depression wouldn’t exist.
Anyone can be like me if the want is there to put in the years of dedication and training.

This year should of been the worst of my life. So much has changed. My heart has been broken more times this year than any other in my life and you know how bad my life has been.
Yet I’m the happiest I have EVER been in my entirety of life here as Debbie.
Since I gave over to the fear and allowed myself to focus on following my compass, get it. What I am, what I need to be, what I need to do etc… be happy. I found pure light.

And boy am I getting happy. I see only light now. I’m surrounding by spirits hundreds deep, I have the most incredible job. Oh My Blob, my readings I actually enjoy them now because I’m helping those who want direction not answers. So it spreads positivity and hope. Where as before I was always worried I was letting people down. My fear of letting people down made me nervous.

I’m teaching thee most incredibly loyal, gifted, loving students. They all tell me how they followed their gut to find me. (They followed their compass) and of my senior students I can honestly say I have found my family.
Even when I’ve had to go Dark to teach certain lessons these last few days they ALL understand why it had to be done and never judged me and in fact by having their support and permission it illuminated many truths and brought certain people to the light who should never have found it in the first place.

My sons are so clever and funny. They are bat shit crazy like their parents but they are individuals and happy even with all this going on with Mr Ex.
But they embrace my crazy and now my 7 year old is in to Physics. Even has theories of his own we like to discuss.

Mr Ex and I? We are the best of friends and will continue to love and support each other through out all of time. All divorces should be like ours. I’m taking nothing but what is mine, and he will help me with the boys without lawyers getting involved. No drama, just healing.

Everything in life has an opposite, for balance. Without perfect balance nothing can evolve. Left/Right, Up/Down, Light/Dark, Yes/No, Good smells/Bad smells, Love/Hate, Day/Night, Sleep/Wake, Run/Walk, Laugh/Cry etc… name it, it will have an opposite. So you have to know that when your depressed because your marriage is over, the good times WILL come. It has to. It’s Universal law of balance. But what is happening with us on earth is there are so many of you suffering from some form of emotional or Spirit blockage that we are now tipping the balance the wrong way. We either go up the ladder to light which is evolution and all knowledge, all time, all creation, everything, or we tip it the other way to dark and de evoling or nothingness. Which everything in the Universe including the dark are trying to avoid.
Nothing wants to go down the wrong part of the Black Hole. I call it The Tornado Effect.

By us not doing anything about our situations we head further and further into the black hole (metaphoric black hole of life I mean this time not the actual black hole like I meant last time).

So how to beat depression?
Honestly? Grow up. Embrace the suck, admit your dramas, get off our medication, stop trying to pass the responsibility for your bad decisions onto other people, own your problems, take responsibility and get off processed garbage. Sugar and Fluoride, MSG, SLF, Sweeteners, all that shit is killing our brains, turn off your Blob Damn TVS and read a book, go for a walk, stop being fed the lies that your not good enough. Do what makes you happy and fuck every body else. You will give love and support where you earn it. Give respect where you get it, love with all of your heart, do what you love and love what you do. Stop working jobs you hate and follow your dream. It’s better to try and be happy than fail at being happy?
Know that you chose this life for the very lessons your running away from. So face them head on.
You ask for this life. The reason your so miserable is your Third self or Highest Self knows it is here to have the Human Experience and by you fighting your compass trying to point north your denying yourself the experience you sent yourself down here to learn.

If you are living a life where you wish you were doing something else then your pointing your dial away from North. Over time that wears heavy on the dial. Now imagine your intuition is the dial and the decisions you make the magnetic force pulling that dial to North. So like a magnets polarity pushing when your put two magnets against each other, your pushing your Soul away from where it was set to be all along.

So everything you do, every thought, every action, every decision, every plan has it’s opposite response. So if you make a positive decision, a positive plan, do something there is also the alternative to it out there. The potential of what could be if you make the wrong decision.
Your gut, your intuition is your compass and no one listens to it but me lol
I’m the only idiot brave enough to listen to every gut feeling and thought BUT I’ve lost 200lbs and found the love of loves because of it. I have an incredible career now and a book coming out and I’m fighting the fight to get to New England (well that area). I’m happier than I’ve ever been and at 43 I now have a 25yr old in love with me hahahahaha (I KNOOOOW RIIIIIGHT?) lol
Bless him the silly boy lol

But I did ALL the things my compass told me to do and my life has changed so dramatically I now welcome the bad shit that happens because the Universal law of Balance dictates that what turns to shit also turns to roses 🙂
That’s why you enjoy the positives in life because it can change in an instant but it’s AAAALLLL based on what you do with what happens next that decides what happens next.

See life as you standing on a pair of skis. One ski is Light, Positive, Evolution of your Spiritual Self, the Other Ski Dark, Negative and De Evolving on a Spiritual level.
Our job while having the human experience is to balance just right on those skis, not too dark, not too light just going at the right speed to have our journey. But soon enough you get the balance just right so your skis go so fast that before you know it your traveling at the speed of what??????? Anyone?………LIGHT!!!
Good Students. I know the 4 that had their hands up immediately already from here lol (see…..Time Traveller lol)
Get it now?
Sort your shit out and watch how fast you get to the light and evolve?
My light is blinding now I’m going so fast.
Many of my students have just gotten on the slopes so I can’t wait till they catch up and they will because my experiences mean I can show them how to avoid the hard stuff. I have the cheats to life lol no having to go through the shit I went through to know what I know.
Some still have the fear but honestly if your that miserable in your life, surely trying to be happy is worth giving it a go because if it doesn’t work you haven’t lost anything and you can say ‘See I told me so’ lol
Nothing found nothing lost right?

You owe this to yourself and your Ancestors to try. Otherwise you’ll be back down for sure.
We are those kinds of nerdy Spirits lol it’s ALL about the Lesson of the Human experience.
That’s why we do it. But we control what happens, when and how. Fight or Flee.
I used to think everything was predestined but it isn’t. We choose it all. Everything, even when we die.

I chose to fight and I’ve been fighting like a bastard these last 12 months Oh My Blob.

Oh and the reason I am anti Black Lives Matter is because I think ALL lives matter. I’d like to see the people protest the Asian Slaves in the textile and sex industry etc….the African Diamond slaves, The Eastern European Orphans, (All Orphans tbh), First Nations, Aboriginals, LGBT, Men, Hispanics, Muslims,Palestinians, Homeless, Gypsies Animals, Women, The Elderly, Black people, Irish, Gingers, Nerds, Handicap, Mentally challenged, even ugly Spiders the Devils Minions, ALL lives matter, I could be here all day,trees, plants, even dark side, all victims in some way, and we allow it to not matter. We all have good and bad versions. Your going to get good Priets and bad ones, Good Teachers and Bad ones, Good Judges and DAs and bad ones, good black/White/Hispanic/Catholic/Muslim/Gay/Straight/Handicapped you get my drift, I could go on and on. But you know what I mean. If you don’t agree that ALL lives matter then your to blame for the state of all of this in this world. Your either a part of the solution or a part of the problem because that’s the balance lol See how it works? lol
See….I told you I wasn’t crazy lol The dead people in my head taught this stuff. Lol
Wait till I do my book called The Science of the Paranormal.

So we are all to blame for this shit. We got what we deserved.
We are living our collective Spiritual Karma.

A handful of people tell us who to hate and we obey. Even though deep down we know it’s wrong.
Immigration…….we ALL come from Immigrants. We ALL came from somewhere. No one will be 100% pure anything.

The trouble isn’t letting someone in from a different country but letting everyone in without checking the moral fibre of the person you let in.
If your there to work and make a life for yourself then come on in. Your going to stimulate the economy, and build infrastructure. If your there for benefits and have nowhere to go then maybe you don’t come in, especially if you can’t read or write.
BUT…..what we should be doing is helping these countries so these poor souls aren’t having to leave in the first place. And we do that by getting rid of Bankers, Government, Sovereignty, Big Business, Pointless Celebrity, Military, Pharmaceutical companies etc….
If we all lived the same way there wouldn’t be any of this shit.

I’d of worked in every country but now if it wasn’t for immigration.
Bastards. Who are we to say no you can’t come my soil? It’s not even OUR soil, it’s Earths and she belongs to ALL of us in the Universe.

We are ALL responsible for each other, when we have the SJWs and Politically Correct, and Moral Brigade getting offended by every little thing we de evolve ourselves faster than war.
War is tragic and brutal and over with eventually. Take your emotions and freedoms and rights of expression away etc…and it poisons us slowly over centuries.

This is why we are on the dark side of the Black Hole and Brethren aren’t.
We are heading towards that black holes corner pocket faster than we can maintain the balance and we all know what happens when a house gets sucked into the wrong part of the Tornado.

So you choose. Life is choice. Be the change you want to see because know one can fix what is wrong in you because only your compass knows where it’s north is.
Deny it and you deny yourself.
So don’t blame anyone else if you don’t listen to yourself. The answer is in you and has been all along.

The question is how much do you want to be happy and live the life your soul asked for?

I was taught this by the dead. I share it with you to show you that the dead are NOTHING to fear. Nor the Dark Side as just these very last days I had to work WITH the Dark Side to resolve a problem surrounding a Student of mine.

You HAVE to know the Dark to know the Light. It is the balance of life.
Don’t be afraid. I’m trying to show you how, if you just listen and trust your instincts your compass finds it’s way to where it is meant to be every time.

The bad stuff happens because it is meant to, but with bad comes good. With good comes bad. You just have to find the balance.
But as I say The Fear of the Paranormal is never as bad as the reality of it and I’m living proof.
Now I just have to be heard a little louder which is why I need to get to America. I know the course of my true destiny lies there.
My compass is set and I can’t fight the magnets pulling me in and to be honest I don’t want to stop it.
Knowing this path is taking me faster to the light and the happier I become the closer I get to it.
So I won’t jump off any time soon.
Light is soooo right. I can’t even begin to tell you.
But I’m gonna try.
I’ve been crossing over so many Spirits I think maybe it might be my thing lol My main purpose, my true gift. I just can relate to them. They trust me to do the right thing.
But more about that later.

We are deigned to self govern
So when we bottle stuff like shaking a bottle of coke eventually it’s going to explode and erupt. It’s the same with emotion.
I admire people that withdraw and mope
or like me I go off and cry
crying is my release
it’s just in how you choose to deal with it comes the hard part
finding the balance
so get angry and punch a pillow but don’t go out and punch a cow or small child

Listen to music that you know can change your vibration, go for a walk, hug a tree, bake a cake, play golf, paint, fish (catch and release or for dinner not for sport or the blood lust), whatever it is you have to do to bring calm to your light. Stop stopping yourself from feeling. Put your anger towards something that gets that kenetic energy out of you. Just put it into the right action. Make good choices when wanting to be angry not bad ones. YOU set the balance. YOU. No one else knows your balance but you. No one IS you but you so no one can understand what YOUR balance is.
And this is what I’m teaching you all, this is what my students are doing. Skiing lessons 🙂
And I’m the Ski Instructor called Sven, but it’s a Military grade Ski Slope so I’m the Drill Instructor as well and I’m sorry but my Teacher was right and I apologize to you now Pauline, can you hear me up there? lol I’m so sorry lol You were right you little tiny person. I am tougher than you. You said I’d be a tough teacher and I laughed at you. I told you I’d bake cakes and tuck them in at night lol
I’m hard Mama, Oh My Blob, I’m like Satan with big tits lol
I’m the Satan of the Paranormal Sciences hahaha bloody typical lol
My poor students lol they are tough man, I’ve not had to drop a student in months and boy have I thrown some shit at them lol
It’s an honor to serve with these men’s and women. We are going to war together to change history forever and I couldn’t ask for a better regiment to serve with.
Our galactic brethren are with us, fighting the good fight and the light is starting to shine.
Soon enough if I can do this right, before I die there will be a few hundred thousand less people afraid of death and what happens after and then we can see death as a celebration because they get to go back to the light if they lived the right life while here.
So get it right. Please listen to what I’m saying in these posts. What I want you all to do is try it. Try the way I’m saying to be. Just for a month or a year listen to what I’m saying. It works. I promise you. You wait till you see my weight loss. Once I’m down to my goal weight you wait till you see the change it made all because I listened to the voices in my head lol The dead.
If I’m wrong……well then I just won’t play anymore lol Your on our own. I’m done lol I quit lol

Love and Light

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Over the past few months I have been learning, studying and developing a variety of new techniques which I have begun encompassing into a new form of reading.
The main aspect of this new technique is giving the client guidance on how they can achieve their goals and find balance unlike a traditional reading which is just predictive.
This will offer guidance from Spirit in regards to things like career, love, money, mental health etc….
I believe I am the first to offer this kind of reading.

In the course of doing so Spirit will show you the future and you can have with the predictions being far more accurate than me trying to pull them out of the ether.
You will learn more about your journey this way as there will be no fear on my part of getting the connection with Spirit wrong.

The sooner people realize Spirit are conscious energy and not physical beings to describe in detail the better the connection will be.
You will be able to learn so much from them if you just listen to the messages rather than look for evidence they are there.

If your having life issues, depression, worried about anything or just want to connect to Spirit and the Universe please come book a reading and let me show you how to follow your compass to perfect balance and peace in your life.

You get 5 questions $50 £35 but your readings will be done either digitally or written in great detail via email. I also do phone calls as well. Even international ones.
You will NOT be disappointed. I will work my ass off helping guide you with all the knowledge of the Universe behind me.

My students and I are on an incredible journey together and one day soon I’ll have more of me to go around but I want to spread Spirits hot sticky love all over the globe and show people how a reading should be done.
Spirit can change your life. You never need to be unhappy, lost or disconnected again if you listen to Spirit.

Email me at if your interested.

I am Psychic Therapy or Spiritual Counseling if you will.

I look forward to walking your journey with you.

Love and Light

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How to get Rid of Negative Energy

Sometimes when things aren’t going right in our lives or things in the house seem a bit oppressive or there has been a lot of negativity around, you need to do a cleansing. If you have been stressed out, fighting or tired but with no real reason as to why, sometimes the energy your surrounded by needs to be cleansed.

You need to be cleansed. If your having trouble sleeping, if you had activity in your home and passed a Spirit over, or you just feel like you need to free yourself from something you can’t explain then you need to do a cleansing. I am telling people how to do this themselves as I have been hearing that some so called Psychics and New Age Gurus are charging extortionate amounts of money to this them for people and it’s just wrong. I only charge for readings.

Before I tell you what to do you need to know some of the rules.

1) NEVER!!! do a cleansing under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Even if your on medication that impairs you. Wait till it is out of your system.

2) You must keep all the doors and windows closed during the entire process.

3) Remove animals and children after they have been brushed with the sage.

4) Make sure you have nothing else on after you have performed the ceremony as you can and will find yourself physically and mentally drained afterwards.

5) Take it very seriously. If you make a joke of it, or decide to use the time to use Oujia boards and such you will invite trouble that I will not be held responsible for.

You will need: A White Sage stick or Smudge Stick. It must be just an ordinary plain Sage stick, not one for specific needs. You can buy them on eBay or Amazon for no more than £3 including delivery. Salt, just normal table salt. A tea light Candle for every room in the house including garage and walk in wardrobes and bathrooms. Incense About 4 spare hours. Try to have someone with you that you trust.

Keep the noise down. Your going to need to concentrate. The first thing you do is close all the windows and doors and not let anyone in or out. Take the phones off the hook until you have smudged each room. Get the table salt and make a line across the front and back doors of the house or office. Just a straight continuous from one side to the next. So when people step over the threshold they are stepping over the salt. This will keep unwanted visitors or people away.

If you want to be double sure, you can keep some Lavender at the door or entrance ways also. Then close the doors and don’t let them open again until the last candle is out. Then you want to light one tea light candle for every room in the house. This includes wardrobes, wash houses, basements, garages. If you can walk into it, you need to put a candle in it.

Safely, put them in a bowl or lid if your worried about wax dripping. Don’t have them close to clothing or curtains. Just in the center of the floor is fine. You need to be able to see them when you do your walk around. After you have lit every candle in every room then you light the Sage stick. You will need something to fan the flame so you can use the smoke to brush over the door frames and stuff.

Some people use a feather but to me it is using a dead animal to help life and it feels wrong so I use a small booklet or piece of paper. Before you send children out, quickly go up and down their bodies with the smudge stick. cats and dogs are usually okay but birds will need to be taken outside until it is done. The cats and dogs can be smudged too but they are usually outside anyway or laying about being nosy as to what your doing but if you live in a really small house, please, put them outside for a couple of hours.

Close your eyes and imagine a door or bridge opening up as you count to ten. When you get to ten the door or bridge should be fully open. Then again ask Spirit for protection as you perform the cleansing. Ask them to protect you from all negative and unwanted people and energies while you cleanse your home and for protection of anyone who lives there also. Start from the front door and work your way to the back of the house. So use the sage stick up and over the entire door frame, then stand in the middle of the room and use the Sage to brush outwards to the four corners of the room.

If you have adjoining rooms like a living room and dining room do them both separately unless you can see the is entering the dining room. In which case after you have done the one room, do the remaining corners of the other from the last room. As you are brushing the Sage out to the four corners of each room ask Spirit and your ancestors for love, protection and guidance.

Ask Spirit to protect your house/office and self. Ask them to protect the house from anyone and anything that isn’t welcome. Tell them out loud what it is your needing help with IE ‘I wish to bring peace to this house because there has been so much negativity’ or ‘I ask you to give us strength during this difficult financial time’ You want to ask for things that matter. Not for possessions or wealth.

Stuff means nothing to Spirit. You can ask for help dealing with financial issues or for help in providing for your family but never for lottery wins or stuff. Your asking Spirit for enough to live, not to be rich. It would be abusing the privilege and chances are you will then get the money in a less than acceptable way IE inheritance after the loss of a loved one, or redundancy.

After you have done each room standing in the middle of the room and sweeping outwards from your chest/stomach area, to the four corners of the room, go to the next room and sage the door of the room you just walked out of. Do this with every room and every door, no door should be done twice. If you have Spirits in the house you will notice the candles burning in such a way that you will now you have attracted their attention.

If your wanting to send them on, tell them when your in the middle of each room to go to the light. Tell them God loves them and their loved ones are waiting for them on the other side. Tell them it is time to pass over and to follow the light. You’ll know by how the candles react if they have gone or not. You never want to do a door or room twice. Start from the front of the house to the back and cover every door and room.

Once you have done every single room, come back to the living room and light the incense. This will help with the smell. The sage will drop ash but it will be easily vacuumed up. Remember not to open any doors and windows. P,lace the remainder of the Sage somewhere safe where it can go out and then when it is cold and all the embers are out bury it in the dirt out the back or if you don’t have a yard inside a pot pant will do.

Never use the same Sage stick twice. Once you have used it once, it needs to be removed. But you shouldn’t have that much left anyone. It’s okay to put it in the bin but I just prefer to send it back to the earth to get recycled into the earth. Nothing is more pure than Nature. Your going to have quite a smoke filled house now which is good.

Take this time while your waiting for all the candles to burn down to have a drink, sit quietly and read a book, maybe play some quiet music. Talk with your partner. Just keep the house or offices noise to a quiet volume. The idea is to balance the energy by smoking out the negative energy, confusing it and cleaning it.

You may start to notice your feeling exhausted by this point, even emotional. If you have be holding stuff in, or you’ve been feeling emotionally blocked or your not sure why you’ve been off kilter this may start to come out now. This is why you can’t be alone. You may doze off and with candles burning in the house, plus if you become emotional your going to need support. What you were keeping bottled up, will come out. I’ve seen grown men weep like children after a cleansing.

Because it frees the soul as well as the house. Check on the candles every 20 minutes. Try not to get 8 hour candles. The 3 hour ones are fine. Just remember no one can come in or out of the house until the last candle is out so if you get 8 hour candles, that is a long time for your pets and kids to be outside or away. Once all the candles are burnt out, then your able to open the doors and windows to air the house out.

Do NOT use air freshener. Let nature take it’s course. The wind outside will disperse it and it will dissipate the way it is meant to. But just before you open the front door, pause, close your eyes and imagine the door or bridge in your head. Slowly close the door as you count backwards to ten. When you get to one, the door or bridge should be fully closed.

This closes you down. You should notice a difference in the atmosphere within 24 hours, but if it has been a particularly hard time it could take up for 7 days for the affects to be felt. Please take this seriously. It serves no purpose other than to cause you immense trouble to deviate from what I have told you to do. It is always better you do it than get someone else because no one else knows what your feeling or going through.

No one should charge you any money to do this. Helping cleanse someones life or home is a very serious matter and therefore should be treated as a gift not a service. If anyone asks for money they aren’t in it to help you, only to make money. If you have any questions about this or anything else, please just ask me. I don’t charge for my time. Only readings. If your needing advice or help, I will help you any way I can for free. I only charge for readings.

Being an Empath hurts

All my life since I was a little girl I’ve heard everybody around me say ‘I’m a softy’ or ‘Your too emotional’ or ‘You wear your heart on your sleeve’ and as a kid it used to just mean I was kind and gentle. By the time I was hitting my teen years and I began to realize what I was, I learned what an Empathic Person was.

It was my Mum that told me what I was and she said I was to never change. But honestly. I wish this was one gift I didn’t have and now my eldest son is one too and I can’t protect him.

Someone recently told me I was to emotional and it hurt. But it hurt because I had spent so much time and loss of money helping this person understand what was going on with them and because they feel I got too involved in their lives through their dreams, because they didn’t understand what an Empath was, I got hurt.

Well lets just look into what it is to be an Empath. I make it a rule never to get involved in a client’s life because of two reasons.

1) They can start to take advantage of what I am or

2) I get too involved and it ends up causing me heart ache.

An Empathic person feels emotion unlike any other person on the planet. We cry when we see suffering, we feel joy when we see a celebration. We can’t switch off our feelings. It is just who we are. From since I was a child I have been protected from watching certain movies and shows because they will affect me badly. To this day at the age of 40 I have never seen Bambi, Dumbo, Project X, and movies that involve animal or human suffering. I have made the mistake of watching The Lion King, The Green Mile, American History X, Schindler List, and Grave of the Fireflies. BIG MISTAKES!!!

I still can’t talk about The Green Miles main character who gets executed by name because I cry. Grave of the Fireflies traumatized me to the brink of needing therapy. Why? Because I felt their pain. I felt their fear and their suffering. It has nothing to do with good story writing, or wanting to get involved in their lives and everything to do with the fact that I hurt more than anyone. If someone next to me realized they won the Lottery right in front of me and started crying I would cry too. I would be hugging them and crying and jumping up and down and I would genuinely be THAT happy for them and I would be Thanking Spirit for giving that person such an amazing gift and also for letting me share their joy.

I don’t want their money, I don’t want their luck. There is nothing in it for me. I just love to see love and happiness and joy and celebration. It warms my heart but unfortunately we are currently living in a world where you have to look hard for the joys of life because we are surrounded by so much pain and suffering. My beautiful husband and even my family have literally banned certain channels from the house. My nephews and nieces will ring me up from New Zealand just to tell me not to watch a certain movie or program. They have been doing this since they were babies. So how bad do you think I am at being a softy that my own babies are protecting me from an early age?

If you imagine the worst times of your life, the most heart breaking, earth shattering, most emotional times of your life, combine every situation and times it by 100, that is me watching the News, Animal Hospital or the RSPCA commercials or the Green Bloody Mile.

I am banned from The Nature channels and Animal Planet shows. I have fought cats to get the birds and mice from their teeth and am proud to say I have been able to save a good 90% of them to send them back into the wild. For the other 10%.

Ask my ex husband. It’s unbearable. It hurts when someone thinks I am trying to get too involved in their life when all I’ve tried to do is help because they asked for it. It hurts when someone teases me for having a soft heart. My ex husband says it is one of the things he loved about me. He never makes fun of me. He never mocks or teases me about it.

Since the first time he saw me in action when a Meerkat got beaten up by other Meerkats on a documentary we were watching on our first holiday together, he opened his arms to me.

He has never once made me feel like I’m less of a person because I cry when I see pain and suffering. I just want to fix the world. If someone is confused, scared, hungry, alone, sick, injured, traumatized and I can help them I do. I can’t help it.

I will pay that £2 that someone in front of me is short of in the supermarket queue because I need to know they got their food for the week. I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t. I will give a homeless person my food if I order it in front of them. I take in the strays and rehome them. I have fed many hungry people in my home and sent them away full. One guy got about a weeks worth of left overs to put in his freezer because I had cooked him so much food he couldn’t eat it all. But he couldn’t afford food. So I fed him.

My ex husband brought a lot of the waifs and strays of the Gaming World home for a meal. I give my last £ to charity, I could go on and on and I can promise you, it is for no other reason than I need to know I have helped that person feel a little less sad, lonely, hungry scared etc…. I have been raising kids since I was 5 yrs old and first became an Aunty to 18 gorgeous children.

Anybody who knows me knows if I say I love you to someone, your mine for life. I will look after you, nurture you, protect you and guide you as much as I can. If you need money I will work extra hours to give it to you, if you need a home, my home is your home, I would die for every single person I love and yes even some strangers too.

I am passionate and I am strong, being Empathic makes you strong, because when you come across someone who doesn’t give themselves the privilege of getting to know you. They can be very hard on your Spirit though. Some people cannot comprehend the kindness and heart of an Empath. But maybe that says more about them and not about us Empaths.

You can be accused of some very hurtful things when your only agenda has been ‘wanting to help’. We live in such a cynical world now, a selfish, man eat man kind of world that if someone genuinely nice comes along you can get mistaken for having ‘other motives’. I’ve been accused of everything from trying to Kill my Father in law (because I made him sugar-free, eggless cakes) for the inheritance to trying to get into a guys pants (because I spent so much time helping him come to terms with the loss of his child).

People always think ‘She can’t really be that nice, she must be up to something’. Well sadly, yes I am THAT nice.

My poor ex husband, Fiance and family (Spiritual) and my one true best friend have to protect me from people like you because I go out of my way to want to make your life happy. I don’t mean to. I don’t make it my business to butt in, I don’t make a point of allowing myself to get hurt by you.

Why would I want to when it hurts so bad? I never come into your world without invitation, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t take up all my spare time getting me to fix what is broken and then push me away because you think I’m trying to ‘get in’. You can’t have my gift and none of me. My gift IS me.

Without me my gift is nothing. We are together like lungs and breathing, or food and digestion.

Sometimes I walk into it with my eyes wide shut. But none the less, they give me the big hugs when I need it, pat me on the head and love me. And I need a lot of it just now.For those that love me, they love me for who I am. It has taken me a lot of years to find the few perfect people in my life who I trust with my life, my love and my heart.

So the next time you see someone crying over something you think is ‘Silly’,  bear in mind they might be Empathic. They don’t mean to hurt as much as they do. It’s the way the big guy made them. Without people like us the world would be a terrible place. And if I am lucky enough to love you in my life then I just want to say Thank you.

Thank you for being the sort of person that not only lets me be me, but you love me because of it. Thank you for protecting me also. While I sit here crying, with tears soaking my top, I want to Thank my niece for giving me the healing today that I needed. She did something for me I will never forget. I had no sleep, I was so so sad. But she made me realize it doesn’t matter who hurt me yesterday. It matters who loves me today. I will always feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and the pain in my heart, but as long as my family and my beautiful Fiance Martin, my incredible Ex Husband, and my Jess who are there to hold me up.

I am blessed. I got these people in my life BECAUSE I’m an Empathic. So maybe it’s not such a bad gift after all.


So be kind to the person crying in front of you. They may be just crying for you.