Whenever You Feel Like Giving Up, Let My Words Guide You

Use my story to inspire you. If I can give you strength out of my weakness then my heartache has been worth it.

Im here to tell a story. My blog is journalling my story through my gift and my words.

I’m not a bad person yet I’ve been slaughtered by people at every turn who once said they cared.

I’ve had ever single one of them take my income from me and do so knowing I have children and a husband to feed.

So who is worse? Me for telling them they were negative people or me for wanting to walk away from negative people?

I’m going to spell this out to everyone and make myself VERY clear.

I’m writing all of this because I am SURROUNDED by people just like me who are on the brink of breaking mentally.

Don’t give up and don’t EVER apologize to ANYONE for having morals.

You matter most noone else and I’m writing here publicly in WordPress when I said I wouldn’t because I’m inundated now with men, women and children begging for my help both living and dead and I’m taking it to all my platforms in the hopes I can help one person stand a little taller in spite of being kicked down by people who know judged you not good enough to their lower standard.

If people are spiteful and cruel it’s because they know your better than them and they can’t stand it.

It is far better to stand alone and be free than stand in a group and conform.

Don’t lower your standards to reach them, make them raise their standards to reach you.

Be the exception not the rule.

You are a good person, you are kind, you have heart and you are worthy of love but only by the right people.

No love is better than fake love.

People will hurt you. It’s inevitable. But you choose how to deal with it.

If your not worth it to them to treat you like a human being then they’re not worth you treating them any differently.

However, the difference comes in what happens next.

Do you resort to being nasty and stoop to their level or do you hold your head up and walk away with dignity?

Everyday I wake up happier and more determined than ever to get what I want and what I want is this.

I’m going to smash every door down and remove misconceptions about the the Paranormal.

I have knowledge now that will change people’s lives in both the Paranormal and Psychic Sciences as well as in the mental health services and I’m working my ass off (quite literally) to get myself exactly where I need to be.

I have a world out there relying on me to help find them mental, emotional and spiritual sanctuary so I had to ask myself last year “Who matters most, the needs of the few or the needs of the many?”

I chose the many without a doubt but in order to do that I chose me first.

When I came back from Wisconsin I came back emotionally broken.

I came home to my ex husband who’d had a nervous breakdown and was the most suicidal I’d ever known him to be, I came back to find my so called friends had tried to have my children taken off me, I had people I loved like pure solid gold blood tell clients and students I was a disgusting human being and it’s STILL going all because I expected them to have better standards as human beings and I know it seems like I’m bitter but I’m really not.

I promise you on my gift I’m not.

I’m trying to lay the foundations for others to stand tall on so they can know if I can survive it and come out happier and stronger then it’s worth it in the end.

We go through what we allow ourselves to go through and as you know I always say “Out of shit grows roses”.

Well the shit these people threw at me grew an entire field of roses for me.

I’ve got truly wonderful friends now. I have girl friends I actually want to do girl things with.

They’re going to wear bikinis with me in a show of solidarity next year because I promised myself once I reached my goal weight I’d buy one for the first time and wear it.

They’re the kind of friends who run to my side to jump in bed with Chipotle and weed when I’m needing girl time and chick flicks.

I’ve NEVER had that. EVER.

I’ve got an ex husband who nearly died from stress last year after my friends saw fit to add further stress to his plate when he was told so many bad things about me he didn’t know the condition of my mind I was bringing home thinking he was gonna have to fight me for custody and get me hospitalised for insanity (yes they actually told him I needed to be committed) rise above it all through my development of Empath Therapy and Psychic Life Coaching and create the most breathtaking art you’ve ever seen.

How this man is able to capture the beauty in pain I’ll never know but he has and he is STILL by my side and STILL my Bestfriend.

Regardless of what they tried to do my Libra the ruler of balance and justice saw the truth and stood firmly by my side.

He’s now getting ready to step out on his own as an artist and I will be his Patreon.

I’m determined to get enough work to retire him and bring him to America so that man never has to worry again because he goes to work every day to provide for me and our boys what my friends took from me even though he isn’t legally obligated to do so now we’re divorced.

But he does it and if it wasn’t for him I would be homeless and he’d have my boys because I’d rather they were with him than on the streets or living in poverty with me.

I still have holes in my clothes, I have holes in my shoes, I can’t afford new glasses or go see my husband whom I haven’t seen since December 2017 because I walked away from these people who went out of their way to keep me down in order to hold themselves up and I’m grateful for every minute of it.

I get fan mail every day. I have people thanking me every day for sharing my words and for reaching out to them.

My students became the family I lost. My ex husband and husband became my best friends and my mind and heart were freed up to develop a connection with the dead no amount of money or friendship could buy that has revolutionised and transformed the Psychic Sciences none of which would of been possible had theses not shown me their true colours.

So for all the shit they throw at me, I got roses and they still have shit on their hands.

My sense of humour has developed too and my childlike nature has come through. My laugh has changed and occurs often now because the release of weight and pressure on my heart and soul have freed me to new heights and with my friends, family and fans now I’m ready to break free from the confines and let my light shine bright so your paths can be illuminated.

I regret nothing and embrace it all because you can take their negativity and sink into darkness or use the weight of it bearing down on you to stand on it and rise above it.

For you my living and dead know this.

I’ll stand beside you to hold your hand.

I’ll stand behind you to push you forward

I’ll stand below you to lift you up and in front of you to protect you but NEVER will I stand on top of you to keep you down.

I’m forging ahead like a steam train more determined than ever to get what I want.

My story, the essence of who I became from all of this constructed a lifeline for everyone else to hold on to that they are using to pull themselves up out of the darkness and this is why I regret none of it and embrace all of it.

I developed a Science out of it. A brand new Science that is gaining a LOT of attention in the publishing and media industry.

I’ve got a gift now and a relationship with the dead even Blob himself would be jealous of.

My writing while lazy and littered with spelling mistakes I’m too busy to correct, developed a psychological association with death that has changed EVERYTHING about the paranormal.

I also got free time from not working as much to work on my body and mind and I got to be with the one thing I live for. My Babies.

The real heroes of my life. My kids were protected the whole time and while they know what happened they looked at it very differently to us grown ups.

They were protective. They always know when I’m struggling exactly what to do. They did then and they do now.

Kids know so if you have children don’t hide your sadness, let them help you. They’re Spirits in human form. They ALWAYS know what to do.

My boys use affection and comedy.

Animals are exactly the same, nature too.

So don’t be afraid to embrace what Mother Nature gave you. She’s called Mother for a reason. Nurture comes from Nature. She’s Mother Nurture.

Hold your head up, tomorrow is just around the corner and brings you a step closer to crossing them hurdles your turning into stepping stones.

If they hate you it means your doing something right and while you’ll come out of it smelling like roses, they’re left still stinking of shit.

Do you first and the rest will follow behind.

The things that are meant for you won’t pass you by.

Prioritize your life and the things that matter but put yourself at the top of the list and those who are genuine will never leave. Those who aren’t will be hard won battles fighting but with great lessons attached.

If my story helps in any way then I’m glad I get to tell it.

I’m here for the living and the dead.

I’m a Median, I bridge the gap.

It’s what I am best and I’m the best at what I am because I set the standard of who I chose to be for me not who others want me to be for them.

You need to as well.

Your in this life for you and no-one else. If you get it wrong for other people it’s you who comes back to do it again not them so make the right choices now while you still can because we take our debt with us and these last 13 months have been me clearing debt.

Its never too late to fix what you broke and if you carry guilt, release it.

Release your fears. I thought I released all mine but I have one left.

I have my fear of not having control.

This was the last of my struggles I released yesterday.

Yesterday I released the need of having no control of my life.

I won’t control my mouth, I won’t control my attitude and I won’t control my mind. But I will control my words and my actions.

I am what I am. If you don’t like tough but I have a job to do. I’m on a mission and nothing will stop me not even death.

I’m coming to America to take some very bad people down. I’m shutting down an industry and outing all the frauds.

I’m gonna build my school, transform art to create a new movement, save some lives, find some children, fix the living and heal the dead, I’m gonna fuck my husband until he’s limping, smoke as much weed as I can get my hands on, eat Chipotle, have adventures with my girlfriend’s and family, laugh till I can’t breathe, stick my 38H cup bra tits out, walk tall, cherish life, embrace every culture I come across, swear, drink, moan, rant, have more babies, protect every child, nurture nature and mow down anyone who stands in my way because I’ve got a job to do.

Unlike the people who hurt me my existence has a far greater purpose and far reaching consequences unlike them in their small downs with their small minds and you absolutely can NOT bow down to them or bow of life people of people like them.

Change is a good thing. Change brings fresh new beginnings. Change brings do overs.

You get to rise from the ashes and embrace change for all the glory a new dawn brings while they stay stunted with zero growth in sight because people like that never change.

If people love you, REALLY love you they won’t judge you or walk away.

If they do they never loved you in the first place so good riddance.

It’s better to be loved by a genuine few than a disingenuous many.

Your worth so much more to life than what people like that allow you to be so stand talk, stand proud and know if the voices of guilt and doubt don’t come calling, you did nothing wrong.

Let your intuition be your guide.

It never leads you anywhere that is wrong.

I’m here for you. I always will be and should we ever meet let us embrace.

Because we will have found each other against the odds and in spite of them.

I love you and thank you for standing by me for nearly 6yrs.

Your support has meant so much to me as I know mine has been to you because you tell me every day.

I’ll be mainstream soon so I can reach more of you then and in person.

So don’t be afraid to approach me and don’t be afraid of me.

I’m nothing to fear if your genuine.

I’m actually a very happy go lucky arsehole but I’m only an arsehole when I’m around cunts.

If your not a cunt I’m not an arsehole.

Simple as.

I’m rebranding my stuff because my colleague stole my brand. I’m moving my blog because my shadow ban on WordPress is making it difficult to access my blog.

Just bear with me ok.

I’m nearly there at your door. Then you’ll never be scared or alone again.




❤️To A REAL Feminist. My Muslim Grandmother❤️

My Siddy I just realized gave me something I will forever be proud of telling the world about.

She gave me strength as a woman but also she gave me an incredible story to tell people who try to tell me I don’t support women’s rights.

You know how I feel about SJW Snowflakes. I’ve just been ranting about it in Twatter and Faceache.

I’ll show you so I don’t have to explain it again coz it’s getting harder to do my posts because WordPress break my app everytime I rant.

Then in thinking about how annoyed I was my Siddy came to mind.

My Siddy was 4’9 and was my most favourite person as a child.

She was the epitome of charity and kindness. She was mean, honest, forthright and protective and she is the definition of what a true Feminist is.

She was a Muslim woman who married a Catholic and after the inevitable divorce she opened a boarding house and raised her children, mostly my Dad who was a young boy, by herself and became very VERY successful.

My Dad never wanted for anything once she got herself established.

I think the boarding house was for men but I could be wrong.

I know men respected her greatly. I would watch how people reacted to her in the street and people would laugh at her rants but not in a disrespectful way more because she was hilariously crazy. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree lol

Her humour was legendary. But here she was a tiny Muslim woman in the 1920s and 30s in small town New Zealand.

She commanded respect where ever she went and got it.

Yes she had an honest tongue and she wasn’t always nice to my Mum but she made amends with my Mum before she died and my Mum told me it brought them both peace.

I don’t have any photos of her but I have one of her daughter. My Aunty Marion who was an idol of mine growing up.

A hard-working successful business woman who was such a visionary and fashionista for me I used to wish I could be around her all the time. She was cool. Even up until she died she was along with my Aunty Rosina the coolest women I knew and still are to this day.

When my Aunty died I was devastated. But my grandmother raised two daughter’s to be hardworking, independent, strong women who were perfectly capable of raising the standard for women without even trying in business and in society.

I love my Siddy, I love my Dad’s family. My Aunties raised incredible women role models for me and it’s just worth mentioning because it’s good to never forget where you came from.

So I’m paying tribute to three women who were the biggest influences to me in my childhood next to my Mother and I don’t even think they knew it.

Not bad for a single Muslim woman in the 1920s and 30s I’d say wouldn’t you?

This is my beautiful Aunty Marion who is no longer with us but she made one hell of an impact on me growing up. Siddy looked like her.


My Mum and Dad

Me and my Dad

Mum and Dad

Heres to you Rosie Hannah

Thank you for reminding me today what I came from.

Just thought I’d share her story from my vantage point.




Mind Sweeps. Wilhelm Reich

I found these. I totally forgot about them until I was doing the Saudi post.

They send radio waves into your brain while you sleep.

If you wake up with headaches your fine. But people are being driven crazy by the sounds of what they say is a radio station playing in their heads.

They’re being told to do bad things, or being abused, shouted at, bullied etc…..


The video below is an old YouTube recording I did at about 4am I think.