Since I’ve been on this brutal journey of inner healing and self discovery since December 2017 (but technically since January 2016) but more obviously since December I’ve been given the gift of not giving a shit about the things I can’t control.
For the first time in my life I defend myself against people who try to say I’m a person other than what I know my character to be.
I’ve got students and clients to die for now.
I’m getting steadily busier and busier while maintaining an incredible relationship with my children I’ve never been able to enjoy before because of illness or work.
I saw over the last week after an incident recently how protective they are of me.
They have stuck to me like glue and two things happened that made me re evaluate how awesome my eldest the Capricorn is.
My children are growing up to be gentlemen and scholars.
My work is really starting to gain recognition too. I’m being contacted to work with some amazing people doing incredible things in their own special way to help the living and the dead.
I’m being courted by book publishers. My little YouTube channel has lovely followers who get what I’m saying.
My husband is doing incredibly well in his Associates Degree course from prison and I’m finally starting to look at my body differently after 45yrs of having it.
I’m remembering facts and memories I didn’t know I knew.
My memory has genuinely shocked me at the things I’m remembering and things I didn’t know I knew.
I’ve only got people who are genuine in my life. My war with baggage ended with me standing shoulder to shoulder with people who I KNOW care because two in particular have stood shoulder to shoulder with me in battle and who are now themselves starting to prosper.
Its been a long process which started in 2001 for me when I started doing readings to earn me money to move to the UK.
And it’s finally come full circle.
I’ve learned more than I ever anticipated on this journey of discovery within the realms of the Paranormal Sciences. I never imagined when I started finding Blob I would find Science instead and I’m so SO grateful for my path.
My pain, my suffering as an Empathic child, teen and adult has come to an end.
I no longer overreact to things. I might have an initial instinctive reaction but my psyche quickly kicks in and I’m able to step back and look at the situation calmly and objectively.
My best friend is so proud of me that I’m not flying off the handle and being a panicking mess now when stuff happens even my MIL thinks I have a right to get angry at lol but I don’t.
It freaks people out a little because they’re used to that famous Scorpio emotional side coming out. But instead I’m calm and rational.
They start to get defensive to prepare for a reaction and don’t get it. Because I finally either just learn to communicate better the situation or my side of it coming to a compromise in the end or I just don’t care because I’ve learned finally if the situation is out of my hands I have no control over it so why deal with outcomes that might never eventuate.
I’m also seeing sounds in words now.
Words evoke sounds in my head when I say them.
Like the word purple sounds like a mouth full of tiny ballbearings.
Comet sounds like spitting glass type fragments.
I also see colour in everything. Grass looks yellow, trees look so vibrant and wavy white.
I feel magnetically grounded to earth. Everything organic has a vibration, energy wave, frequency to me and it’s all I see and feel instead of what others see.
I’m magnetic in someway, a conduit for electricity, I sleep SOOOO good now.
I sleep like the dead now. Real deep restful sleeps.
I don’t eat anything like I used to. I LOVE my eating habits now.
I never overeat, never hungry unless it’s because I’ve not eaten all day and worked out.
I see food as a necessity not as a crutch. I cook every day. We have fish and chips once a week and we BBQ at the dam or we make our own burgers and kebabs. My exes burgers are the best in the world.
I’m so going to sell them at my campus.
I have a clear plan, purpose and direction now.
My gift is second to none.
Teaching people how to trust their Connection to self so they can connect with the Universe is what I do now. Its my thing.
Its my purpose. Teaching.
If I teach people how to have this connection and trust in their gift like I do then they won’t need people like me to communicate to to the dead for them then they don’t get ripped off or lied to.
I can’t handle letting people down in readings.
It bothered me too much. It didn’t make sense until I realized we can’t read for everyone. Only those we have a trust and connection to.
Frequencies don’t match every time with every frequency.
Sometimes frequencies are out off key or off pitch. That’s Boones fault. I’d just not rather be the one to take their money and disappoint them because it’s not me or who I am, what I’m about or what I’m prepared to do to earn a living or reputation.
When I read for someone I feel right to read for now the connection is absolute and without question.
But I don’t do readings for just anyone. It can take me a day or two to reply for a request now because I’m waiting to see if we connect before hand.
I don’t do readings often now but I will for those in desperate need for help and for loyal clients. Some of them I’ve had for so long I could never walk away because we have a special relationship. Some of them I read for entire generations of their family and I could never walk away from that.
Some of these families helped mould and shape my life so I’m going to be eternally grateful to them.
But for my Psychic Life Coaching all I can say is WOW!!!
My clients are INCREDIBLE. They’re ALL making HUGE and I can’t write that big enough HUGE changes in their lives. All women on the brink of giving up, all women now happy and focused on their journey and enjoying being alive for once.
I found myself and my purpose through my trials and tribulations and I want you to know this ok?
Anything that I write in here no matter how dramatic it sounds or nuts it appears to be has been me genuinely 100%
The reason why I exposed myself and my mind to you all is so those of you who think they’re mentally ill for hearing voices, those of you who are GENUINE Empaths, those of you afraid of living in this fucked up world in these fucked up lives, those of you afraid of what you think you are, have or might be around you can see how normal and happy you can be just embracing the voices.
I exposed my mind to you so those of you just like me could see your not alone and your ACTUALLY more normal than Normie Norms.
I’m trying to show you that if I can have all these dead people and Spirits around me and my inner consciousness, if I can go through all this heartache, betrayal, financial ruin and devastation and see it as a journey to learn from and come out happier because of it….you can too.
I can’t sit and watch people like us being lied to and lied about.
Empaths and Empathic Pathwalkers need to know thier truth and unfortunately the world has been fed lies and misconceptions about what it is to be an Empath, Pathwalker, White Lighter or Dead and I won’t tolerate it anymore.
Another side affect of my happiness is youth.
People are saying I’m de-aging.
Its freaking people out lol I genuinely haven’t done anything. I barely even moisturize twice a month. Face cream lasts me a couple of years I use so little.
My sex drive with through the roof lol I won’t go into detail but think Scorpio times 1000.
And my laugh has changed. It is a genuine laugh that comes from my gut but not a gut or belly laugh but more I feel it emanate from my sternum. Its an incredible pressure to the right of my heart in my sternum but I know it radiates from my stomach or Solar plexus if you will. From the place where the voice in your gut lives.
As soon as I laugh it’s there, that warm pressure in my chest that uplifts me and fills my ample chest with an inflated feeling of warmth and happiness.
Like being drunk but stone cold sober.
I’ve always been a suspicious observant person but I see through lies now even with people communicating with me online or on any of my social media platforms.
Deception has a frequency all of its own. Its saved me so much time, money and hassle.
I’m not above admitting I’m wrong about something and if my behaviour is such where Spirit or my gut bags at me to correct I do so with immediate effect but I do stand my ground now.
My life has changed since December 2017. It was the worst most painfully incredible welcoming experience of my life.
Not once did I question it nor did I back down. I trusted my gut and then my connection to my dead grew exponentially and while I was taken to the brink of financial collapse and had the most important people in my life face a choice regarding me and being in mine, I saw strength in them I never knew possible.
I have four incredibly loving and supportive students who inspite of EVERYTHING chose me and I’ll never be able to fathom their loyalty.
BUT I can tell you this.
These people in my life. My tiny close knit band of fellow trouble makers trust me because they see my work means something.
That regardless of whether I’m a cunt or not there will always be a reason for my cuntery.
They respect me enough to say “Please explain your behaviour” and when I do they totally get it OR they don’t question it because like me they know when all is said and done……I’m doing this for the children and the voiceless victims of something dark and sinister.
They know from a first hand perspective because they’re the only ones who see me outside of social media contact (my students and clients have 24hr a day private access to me) what I go through begin the scenes of what I allow you all to see.
The long hours, the studying, the random emotions and experiences of my gift, the drama that my life brings because of it.
And they don’t judge me for it because they know no-one else could do it and survive mentally intact.
My life, my culture, my upbringing prepared me every step for a life with death. I don’t see death the way anyone else does.
And because of that I feel for the first time ever I’m safe letting go and being the real me I was born to be.
I’ve lost people in my life I would of bet money on were in it for life. People who up until recently I trusted with thee most important parts of my life. My children.
And I didn’t even care. I was glad I saw them for what they really are.
Its so easy to blame others for your mistakes and I’ve had a shit ton of people try to put their guilt, shame or blame on me and before I would of taken it as gospel and hurt like you wouldn’t believe. It would eaten me up for years the guikt of thinking I’d be such a horrible person to one I loved so dearly.
I’m not a bad person, yes I’m cantankerous and demanding. I have high expectations from those who say they love me but I give what I get.
If your not loyal then neither am I and I’ve seen disloyalty like you wouldn’t believe. But the thing is……I don’t even care that I lost them.
If I love you you’ll be the victim of unbridled Scorpio love. I will be loyal to the death without question or hesitation I will ALWAYS take your side.
I’m the bitch who if you ring needing to dispose of a body of bring the lime and weed without even asking who or why there is a body to be buried. I’m THAT friend.
I feel for those I love so intently it’s a serious thing for me to say I love you to someone. If I say it I mean it. If you don’t mean it I will inevitably bring about our demise. I will always mean it until you don’t.
I get called fake but I’m not I’m just ruthless but I have to be. If you hurt my Scorpio armour I’ll end it before you get to the soft part inside.
People who showed me their true colours made me turn their shade into a giant rainbow with a pot of gold at the end.
And it sounds harsh but it’s the truth.
Because I wake up seeing children being bludgeoned to death and being eaten while their little bodies are still twitching on the ground.
Animals skinned alive in front of them, being beaten if they don’t participate in atrocious behaviour.
Every day I see people chained to walls, raped, sodomized by members of their family, community and justice departments.
Children and missing people passed around like Pez.
I see the infections setting in on their festering maggot ridden half alive bodies.
I hear them talking to me asking me when the rescuers are coming.
I admit a couple of my predictions may have been wrong or misunderstood by me at the time. I’ve even been sent stuff that I’ve posted that was wrong
But I was still learning. But even you can’t deny the high level of accuracy my predictions have come in at.
My dead tell me stuff that’s never wrong but my interpretation of it could of been but that’s my fault not theirs.
I hold my hands up to that.
But now you know I’m right about these things. Now I’m proving the connection is real you can surely now finally appreciate why being a cunt has been necessary.
I won’t have just anyone in my life or my body of work and ability when I’m dealing with these things for these children.
I can be exceptionally fragile some days. You all have normal lives. I don’t. Your life even if you developed my gift wouldn’t be anything like mine because once you learn what I have the world will be in a better place by then. We will be better people and my Science will be standard.
But I’m the one setting that standard. Noone else has done what I’ve done AND I had to learn a new aspect of physics and prove that psychology is a Psychic Science. All without any formal education while trying not to die from the hernia crap, lose weight, get a divorce, create a business, write a book (now 2 books) get married to a man in a NY correctional facility, raise my boys, lose over 200lbs, restructure my training course, get my life coaching certification, start a business model for my school, have a radio show, change my diet, redifine my gift, start a YouTube channel, maintaing this blog, doing sessions for clients, start a business model for my charity, out my husband through college and maintain relationships with what few friends I have left.
And I developed and fine tuned my techniques for dealing with energy. Psychic and Psychological energy.
All within 2yrs but a huge chunk of the intellectual stuff has only been since December.
What about you? What have you done but judge me for it.
And you wonder why I had to start being a cunt.
All while trying to protect these children in my home. And I’m ashamed to say not just children. The soldiers, homeless, missing, exploited victims of this evil come second I’m afraid because they’re more able to articulate and communicate better than the kids.
They can just tell me what happened but the kids are young and don’t know how to show me other than by SHOWING me and that’s a lot to deal with.
But no-one thinks about that.
For the ones that do, they’re why I have them in my life.
I finally FINALLY feel that bullet of protection my Teacher spoke of.
My whole life I wanted a Bestfriend.
Someone I could just be me with who would always choose me like I’d choose them. Who never questioned what I was or who and who never tried to get up in my business with others. I thought I’d had that a few times in my life and having just lost who I thought was the love of my life in December I finally realised my best friends were staring me in the face this whole time.
My girl besties are the opposite of me in every way and just like me in every way but they love me all the same and know if I’m an arsehole I’m gonna explain it or fix it and they don’t care.
I sleep better because I know I’m finally in good hands with this.
I’ve been so reliant on husband’s to look after me and now I’m almost fully independent and my dream as nuts as it sounds is to make enough money to pay for everything myself instead of having my ex look after me until I earn enough.
I want to be a mortgage paying, tax paying, medical insurance paying, wage paying resident of America and Scotland. I want to pay it myself and get this life myself without helping me.
No benefits, alimony, or unearned money. I’m fully prepared to earn this life myself and I am so close I can taste it because the people who do help me now do so because they see the bigger picture and it’s made me better able to function with a I’ve got to do.
I’m on a mission and I’m like the Trump train barrelling down the track because I’ve got lives to save both living and dead.
I take what I do very seriously.
So yes I don’t fuck about now and as a consequence I’ve found true happiness.
Nothing that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things matters now.
Not sweating the small stuff kept me hydrated enough to handle the big stuff and it’s left me feeling pretty bloody awesome.
I used to say my heart was full but now I can honestly say it’s my Soul that’s full.
I just have to get to my man in NY then I’m on to the next phase of my journey as a wife and Mother as we as fully independent career woman.
And if no-one helps me or supports me that’s fine too.
I do it myself. I’ve gotten myself this far.
Now I have a good army surrounding me I’m genuinely just not afraid of where I go from here.
I am what I am and I is what I is and finally I make no apologies for that.
Because for the first time in almost 46yrs I’m finally Debbielee.
And I LOVE her.
I can finally say that about myself.
I love this person I found hiding amongst the rubble of my miserable existence.
She’s on a mission now so you can either get on board or get off because I’m coming for you world and if you get in my way I’ll have no hesitations in running you down.
I need to get to America and I need to reach people with my work.
Cross over Spirits, sort out active houses, heal hearts, make people understand what Empath means, educate people on how to be happy and fix people’s misconceptions about death and the paranormal as we as building my school and starting a new life for me and my brand new family.
All using the Scientific theories and principles I’ve developed all while people sat gossiping about me and my family as well as my mental state.
I cry a lot now. A lot more than usual. But I cry because I get so emotional at the girl who had the journey to become the woman she is now.
I wish I could of just walked beside her for 43yrs and assured her it ends well.
I got the fairy tale. My children are genuinely such incredible gifted talented and creative souls who are creative and nurturing, protective and so hard working.
We have the most incredible discussions. My youngest has an exceptional vocabulary, they both have but my youngest astounds me with his level of intelligence.
They have music like Mozart, rain forest, thunderstorms, and Experimental music on their Spotify. I knew nothing about it.
My eldest LOVES retro gaming music. He plays it every night to go to sleep. Or the Halo and Star Wars compositions.
They both have their favourite pieces.
My husband is my Prince Charming. He makes me feel beautiful. No man has ever made me feel beautiful. He constantly tells me how beautiful I am and while I do always tell him to stop being so gay I do love it.
Having such a man loving me has built up my confidence so many took away from me. Not just men, friends and family too.
I know I still have a little way to go but I’m now able to turn my morbid obesity into comedy and it actually be funny because it’s observational now rather than as a defence.
I used to out myself down because I always thought if I did it first it would stop others from doing it.
But it started to really upset my husband. We’d argue over it and I realized it wasn’t fair to him and his love for me.
So now instead of putting myself down I make fun of her because that fat mess with NEVER come back into my life.
In my life time I’ve had about 1 yr of staying slim then putting weight back on. As soon as I’d realize I’d lost weight I’d put it back on.
Diets don’t work. But now I see my Abs and Biceps. I still have my fat days but everyone does. I have body dismorphia and I know this.
But it’s not a torment for me anymore.
Now when I see her I put something tight on that is tit top tastic and remind myself I’m a size 12 which I only ever was for about 3months as a teen in Australia.
Men and women ask me out constantly. Its so cute. I have the same response for all of them. I’m never ride or disrespectful about it.
I’ve been offered camels, money and cigarettes for my heart lol I got chosen today but some random stranger lol he said “I choose you” I said “And what about the other 16 personality’s I come with?” Lol
I’m complex and demanding. I need ALL the attention from those I love.
I am a true blood Scorpio. I love intensely. I suffocate people with love. I’m jealous, I have incredibly high expectations and standards in love most people can’t live up to and that’s not their fault that’s mine.
People always think I’m talking about them in here too. Watch…. I’ll get emails from people thinking I’m talking about them. But I always find that curious behaviour. Because if I’m talking to you, your not the problem.
Its if I don’t talk to you, you know your the problem.
Having said that my genuine friends and clients know I’m also very honest and busy and if I have a problem with them I don’t fuck about I just say it.
I am brutal though. Loyalty to me is like the air I breathe. I NEED it to function to the best of my ability and I will walk away even from my husband if he showed disloyalty.
When I see someone is no longer the person we were to each other, or I see behaviour unbecoming of someone I expect better from or I see deception and disloyalty this is where I’m dangerous.
Because I’ll just tell Spirit or do a spell to highlight the issue for clarification or removal.
I trust you until I don’t but I’m also suspicious of everyone around me now.
If your removed it’s with good reason and if my spell highlights that or Spirit do, I trust them without question.
If it turns out it’s me in the wrong I fix it.
That’s who I am now. Because without it I get dragged down but situations that distract me from what’s important.
Its everything to me. Its my life’s work quite literally.
Theresa Caputo never sat with pen and paper aged 12 writing down the effects of anger on the draining of electricity in her bedroom.
I’m a handful. I’m not for everyone but I’m here and I can’t thank people enough who have been a part of this experience good or bad.
Without the tribulations I would never have my triumphs.
I’m fully embrace my journey now. I accept I’m not normal. I accept I may even come across as autistic or mentally ill to some too but no-one can deny my gift.
Its made me lose weight, get a clue, save lives, find true love and establish myself as someone who’s Science is now finally being taken seriously.
I’m going to help train a woman who works with Special Needs children in how to maintain and control the energy they create because they don’t understand how or what to control because they don’t interact with the world the way other children do.
How cool is that? This is my life now.
I help people help themselves and others both living and dead by using their connection to Spirit to do it.
Students of life, masters of death.
I teach it all.
And this is all the reasons why I’m happy.
And if you listened you could be this happy too.