I saw this article on Facebook and felt compelled to write a post about why I’m proud to be a woman and what the word Woman means to me.
I personally believe there is a distinct difference between a female and a woman and there is a distinct difference.
You can disagree with me but this is my personal view based on observation and because I’m female, grew up with them, come from females and have a female biology. No-one can be more qualified to speak for me than me.
I am fiercely proud to be a woman
I come from a long line of fighters but figuratively and historically.
The women in my family have endured some shit because of men, for men, and beside them.
A woman to me is someone who isn’t afraid to roll her sleeves up and do what needs to be done.
She would rather walk in the snow with her dead child head held high than stoop to asking neighbours for a ride to the hospital because they’d humiliate her and abuse her because she’s divorced.
She would sell herself to feed her children. She would kill to protect her babies.
Children to a woman is the air she breathes, whether they are here or not. A woman loves and nurtures life. Be it animal, human or plant. A woman has a inbuilt need to nurture.
I know woman who can’t stand kids but fuss over her friends something wicked. I know another who doesn’t want kids but her heart for the elderly is beyond description.
Either way, a woman needs to nurture.
I LOVE a man who likes to eat. Not in a Mr Creosote way but I love to cook for men and have them enjoy my food. I grew up with women cooking for men and family. I’m from a NUI Maori WHANAU (big family) and food is a big part of socializing for us.
But what’s cool is that in my culture the men cook just as much as the women.
We cook in day to day but men cook the Hangi which requires digging huge holes in the dirt, covering the bottom with hot rocks and then placing the meat on top of the rocks on flax and water, then the dirt again etc…cooking it for most of the morning and early afternoon.
Men also cook during a Tangi or Maori funeral. Between the men and extended family the family in grief are fed pretty much 24/7 for 3 days.
They take shifts so the family have all their needs tended too.
But the women are the ones up around the clock. The women are the ones who prepare the house and make the grief less hard to bear because the tears on a Bossom of a woman you love like an Aunty or older female cousin is like tonic.
When I need to feel safe I go to a man. When I need to feel understood I go to a woman.
Men have comradary, women have bonding. A woman’s intuition is never wrong although her judgements can be, she will never be wrong if her antenna pop up and I genuinely mean pops up, not because your jealous and curious by nature. If your a woman reading this you’ll know what I mean.
A woman’s intuition is never wrong.
We know when we’re pregnant. Our antenna pop up and we know.
We know when our kids are going to get sick or if something is wrong someone isn’t talking about.
We’ll feel urges to check in our kids or loved ones or even strangers that end up being with damn good reason. All women have had moments where we’ve thought “I KNEW something was wrong”.
A man is instinctive too but men are more instinctive to body language and behaviour. They’ll notice something in someone instinctively before a woman but a woman will “feel” it long before she sees it.
We’ve all been in situations with men where our heckles have gone up and we’ve felt the need to back off or tone your approach down.
A woman will feel something wrong with someone on the other side of the world and 100 million times I’ve had women as clients who’ve lost children or loved ones even who have known the second their child died, or needed them.
A woman’s grief is impossible to recover from. I’ve lost siblings, babies and both parents, friends and extended family but nothing hit me harder than losing my babies.
I’ve just always felt it in my very fibre that being a wife and Mother was my reward for being a good woman.
But you can Mother anyone, it doesn’t have to be yours biologically.
I know women who foster, adopt and raise children not their own that they love just as much as the ones who are.
It’s in a woman to love and nurture. And nurturing to a woman is all encompassing. It’s showing your children how to interact gracefully in public. It’s showing them how to cook and clean so they too can one day nurture their own family and visitors to their home.
It’s teaching them how to bathe and be hygienic. Teaching them how to eat civilly. It’s encouraging them when they fail and being proud when they achieve.
It’s teaching them to be fair and non judgemental and never being afraid to let your children see you fail because you teach them how to rise above it and move on and strength in a woman is her backbone.
If your children see you triumph after tragedy they’ll never be afraid to try living and a woman wants her children to enjoy life.
My kids could read and write at 3. My kids know how to use Coke to clean a toilet. They know how to use a speak to women and the elderly in a way that always gets us compliments for their behaviour. My children have manners.
My children are kind, respectful and personable because I as their Mother want to show them how to conduct themselves in a female environment because as one who has son’s I never want to hear they acted inappropriately towards a woman or in the company of one.
A woman doesn’t get into a situation she can’t get herself out of but I never want my boys being men other women feel that way towards.
I want Woman of all ages, creeds and nationalities to feel safe and comfortable enough to run to my son’s for help not away from.
I want my boys to open doors for women and hold chairs out for them.
But I also want them to do that for men too and the elderly as I would expect them to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, elderly person, or someone clearly more in need of it.
And they do and it was never hard to teach them.
I as a woman make good and informed decisions about the men I have in my son’s lives.
My husband might be a felon in a NY prison but I’m a woman. I’m never going to judge him for that. He was open with me from day one. I know his situation. I made the judgement along with my ex husband to bring him into their life once we felt they we’re all on the same page and he’s been accepted from day one. They go to him if they can’t talk to me or their Dad and neither party discuss it with me if it’s been requested.
So I as a woman in me making good judgements they in turn are doing the same because they WILL tell you if they don’t like someone. But because of the choices I make in who is around them it’s never been an issue on a personal level.
My boys are good judges of character and that comes in handy because often I’ve seen them jump in to save a girl from a situation on the playground that’s made me as a Mother so proud.
But when they protect each other or me, it makes me tear up.
I want my men being capable of defending themselves and their surroundings but knowing when to draw the sword.
I want them to be comfortable in the skin their in.
Both had dolls as youngster’s. With baths, potties, outfits, stroller, bottles etc…. they’ve earned pocket money since they were two and now will ask for chores AND save their money without asking for it if they’re raising money for a toy.
80% of the toys they have, they’ve earned themselves. Consequently they have a mountain of them because we believe in rewarding good behaviour.
At the same time we teach them charity and every year they’ll donate toys to charity.
My eldest son is 9 mops a mean floor, he is fantastic at baking too. My youngest is the cook at 7 1/2 and he’s good at washing dishes.
Both kids go to bed on time, never complain about it, they eat fruit and vegetables and ask for it every night because I ask them what they want for dinner every night.
I include my children on ALL major decisions in my house. Such as we don’t move into homes if all of us don’t agree.
We chose together to adopt my husband together (when he asked me to marry him he asked my son’s first and then I spoke to them with their Dad in the room and separately to see if they were in agreement or not) and also me working towards a public career were all done with their input and approval.
I’ve hidden nothing about my work. They know word for word what I do. I hide none of the gore because they have been raised to know death is pain and it is very real but also never to be messed with, underappreciated and misunderstood and nothing to fear.
My children were my biggest influence in losing weight, in healing myself and having a good divorce.
I didn’t ever want them to see our divorce as being a bad thing. We all cried together as a family.
I make it a thing to let them hear me say ‘I love you’ to their Dad when we talk on the phone and hang up.
As painful as our divorce was m son’s were involved in every step because as a woman I took the pain and used it to make me a better person for my children.
I never lie to them. Not even to spare their feelings I just tell them in a kind way so they take the defeat while I hold their hand.
When they’ve done wrong they pay.
When they were younger around 3/4yrs old they threw stones on our neighbours new concrete patio thing out the back. They’re an elderly couple and as lovely as can be but he came and asked us to get them to stop because the effort to tidy it was a lot for them at their age.
I apologized and assured them it would never happen again while my now ex went and swept up.
I then took their pocket money and went to the supermarket and they chose two things, Biscuit selection and chocolate box I believe.
They then went next door to present them with an apology and they then got a cuddle from.the neighbours, a cookie and when I got home I gave them a huge hug and a bowl of I’ve cream and they never threw stones again.
I explained to them the situation. They got it.
I will raise my children to take personal responsibility always.
They tell fibs of course but it’s harmless really. They don’t lie though. They’re very honest. My eldest won’t hesitate in telling me my bum looks big in something lol
I decided that as a woman it was up to me to lead by example what they would look for in a wife and I know that sounds creepy but if I’m nurturing they’ll look for a nurturer too so I’d know she was making sure he’s eating right. Not cooking for him necessarily but making sure he’s eating.
I want them to know they can talk to their Woman about anything because I never want my boys feeling like they talk about their feelings.
Their Dad suffers from manic depression and has been suicidal many times and they’ve seen him at his lowest and I never want my boys feeling so isolated from support they can’t talk to someone, their partners especially.
So I ALWAYS support my ex. I’ve shown my boys that a woman stands by their man no matter what he’s going through.
When he lost his jobs even after I had hernia operations I didn’t complain, I rolled my sleeves up and moved housed with him.
I hold him when he cried, I remove us when the signs of a melt down are coming because I’m intuitive. Because I’m woman.
I also decided I wanted to retire my ex husband so he could heal by painting. He’s an incredible artist and his mental state is such that he needs to heal or he won’t see 50 kind of thing.
So I as a woman want to show my boys that we do what has to be done to get the job done. So they see me working sometimes 18hr days doing what I do to get myself out there so I can move America and open my school and charity.
Which is The School of Paranormal Science, and Life Beyond. A non profit organization that buys up buildings to turn into accommodation for homeless men, veterans and ex felons.
I’ll employ them to do the work then put them in the accomodations. That way they have a roof and feel valued again.
I do this because as a woman I watched my Mother’s and Grandmothers be women too and no-one takes care of it all like a woman.
She will sacrifice shoes to feed her children. She will get up and work three jobs to provide for her family and go through horrendous pain creating, bearing and raising a child and not necessarily in that order.
She will bury her children and carry on. She will feel that child every day. When a woman loses a child it removes a part of their soul. You never forget the moment you know your pregnant and the second before you know it’s over. The pain is fixed into your soul.
We are teachers, nurses, psychologists, ambulance’s, taxis, chauffeurs, fans, best friends, cooks, cleaners, banks, the tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny, party planner, baker, comfort and joy. But to a child a woman is Home.
I am home to those who love me. I am trying to set a good example to my son’s even though I’m emotional and crazy no-one is a better judge of character of me than me.
When no-one else supported me, they did.
But make no mistake. I am this way because I have had the support of the men I’ve had this journey into parenthood with.
It’s because of my husband’s I am where I am. They’re the ones that worked jobs that nearly killed them to put the food on the table so I could be the things I am to my children.
It is because of the shit I saw my husband endure that I got inspired to get myself out there and be what I’m determined to be.
My son’s and their Dads are why I am becoming what I am.
They had the hard job. I may have done all I’ve done career and knowledge wise but it’s only because behind the scenes I had my men pushing me from behind.
As a woman I recognize the INCREDIBLE and majority rule men have had on the creation of and construction of but protection of and maintenance of our society as a whole since the dawn of time.
I love men so much. I love their company. They’re fascinating, they don’t fuck about, they’re mindful and childish and I adore their big dumb stupid little baby faces that neither my heart. My biggest weakness on earth, my Kryptonite is a man crying.
I can’t stand it. Women cry constantly so I’m desensitized to it. But see when a man cries, you KNOW he’s broken beyond control. When a man cries you know something bad has happened.
They look so vulnerable and squishy to me and I just want to put them in my boobs and hug them until the pain goes away.
It’s why my charity is man based. I always want these makes Mother’s to know someone is watching over them the way they would want them to be because I’d want someone to be there for mine should they need it.
My charity is also psychic therapy based too. For those who wish.
We’ll heal through art, music and other empathic abilities. Because too many of them are suicidal. So it’s on offer. We’ll come together and heal one Spirit at a time.
I’m so proud to be a woman. I, like my Mother and Grandmothers before me have earned every letter of those words to describe our role on this earth. What a critical role we play in shaping this planet.
And what’s even more perfect is that fact that the word MAN is standing right beside us. We forge ahead because we’re women, but evolve because of men. The perfect balance.
I honour the men who built our world. I’m privileged to live as I do. I am here because for centuries you gave your lives so I could live free.
You mined my coal that kept my ancestors warm, you built our roads, towns, houses, you tend and grow my food, you drive and toil, dig, fix, built, design, defend, protect, supply, invent, design, construct, fix, explore, mend, tailor our world to evolve past the times.
You’ve been sacrificed on every level of life in numbers too infinite in number. You melt our hearts and charm our panties off in only a man knows how.
You provide in ways that can risk your freedom because a man does what he gotta do for his family. (That’s what my husband says. He’s from Queens, New York).
You collect our rubbish, maintain my sewer’s, you literally deal with the waste my body doesn’t see worthy of keeping.
All things any woman could do if it was necessary but we’d prefer not to. That’s why your here lol
You design the best fashion, cars and hairstyles. You don’t hold grudges. A grudge is never held for long and an apology consists of ‘Ya right mate?’ (hands over a cold one) ‘Yeah mate sorry bro’ ‘ Nah your a’right mate, no worries, he did you see the game last night?’…..I LOVE that.
And that’s to me lol A man is someone who doesn’t treat me any different because I’m a woman but respects me because I’m one.
A man jumps into rivers, burning buildings and war zones so I don’t have to. A woman could of we had to but like…..ew gross….yucky……blucky.
You discovered drugs. The drugs I need when I’m sick and ripping a child out of my body.
You gave us high heels and make up and as a woman I want to look good because of you.
You see the beauty in women when even their own girlfriends will see hate. You’ll want us feeling fat, grumpy, bleeding, emotional, moody, craving, vengeful, sarcastic, snobby, arrogant, bitchy, jealous, childish, rude, dramatic and sad to you in the span of an afternoon and still you love us and come back for more.
You tolerate so much from us and I just want you to know how much a woman appreciates you because I want women to respect my boys and should I have daughter’s I will raise them with the same values and practices as my son’s, she will nurture her brother’s and father and honour our men folk as she does our womenfolk.
She will work hard for herself and any family she created in this world and every day she will hold her head up and walk along side her men without question or a shadow of a doubt.
A woman will bring her boys up to be men and encourage the boy out of her man.
Her opinions will be valued and when she’s hormonal her father and brothers will be the perfect example of what to look for in a mate.
She will respect her body as much as ant make she shares it with will because if she doesn’t make good choices her father will end up in prison again lol
I will lead by example how to balance feminine and crazy just right. To teach her how to use her feminity without causing confusion.
My children regardless of sexuality will be free to love who they love as long as they love and respect and are loved and respected in equal measure in return because a woman doesn’t judge or condemn her children for who they’re born to be even if they don’t fit her ideal or societal expectation.
A woman puts others before herself and has to be reminded to think of herself by those who love her because without realising it she forgot to eat because she was making sure her patient, student, child etc…was tended to.
I am the woman who learned about and discovered the love of cars because I wanted to have something to talk about with her man.
I will learn what you like so we will have something in common. I will ask questions and consort with you on opinions. I’ll drink beer with you and ask you how your day is
I buy your consoles and games because I believe everything man should be allowed to have his thing.
Whatever your hobby, I will support it even if I’m not into it or understand it.
I dream to go air softing one day. I will watch you play sports, video games, genre of movies especially anime, martial arts, horror or musical. I will cook the food you like, buy you gifts and compliment you every time we meet just because I respect you that much.
I will never ask you to change. As long as you accept me, I accept you. Regardless of colour, religion, politics or sexuality.
And while a woman is biologically female there is a distinct difference between the two.
A female will demand change, a woman makes it happen.
A female expects a man to provide for her but a woman provides for her family.
A female will destroy a man for revenge, a woman will rebuild him.
A female will get pregnant to trap a male then force him into a life he didn’t want just to keep him, a woman will plan her pregnancy with him and take responsibility together because a man takes care of the kids he creates.
But a woman would never hold the children against him out of revenge or malice, a female would.
Females can get a male to commit murder for her but a woman makes him want to stay and keep out of trouble.
A female will make males start wars but a woman makes a man want to go to war.
A female will take a man’s creations and inventions but a woman will be the inspiration behind them.
A female will want to be painted a woman will be asked to be painted.
A female is the reason behind a man’s tears, a woman behind his sweat.
A female shouts to be heard, a woman hears to be listened to.
A female judges and gossips to gain attention, a woman observes to gain respect.
A female has kids, a woman has children.
Females have kids by chance, Woman have kids by choice.
A female wants others to take responsibility for her actions, a woman takes responsibility for her self.
A female looks to others to save her, a woman saves herself.
A female Blane’s others for her suffering, a woman doesn’t show she is.
A female will destroy society to prove a point, a woman will rebuild that society along side her men to prove a point.
A female will cry to get her way and a woman will cry to get her way.
A female uses her sexuality to get what she wants, a woman uses her feminity to be given what she wants.
A female is sexual, a woman sexy.
A female will be a whore in the boardroom, a woman in the bedroom.
Females take, women give.
Females have opinions, Women have suggestions.
Females argue, Women debate.
Females the voice of doubt, women the voice of reason.
And that’s what I’m trying to be. For my husband, for my son’s. I am their voice of reason.
I am the reason they are where they will be one day.
I am the reason they are loved and defended, nurtured and protected, honoured and encouraged because I am woman and they hear my roar.
But they love me anyway even on the days when I act like a female.
And I dedicate this article to you, all the men who make me want to be a better woman and also to the women who want to create better men.
I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without either.
I love you all and I’ll always have your mens backs because history has proven you have mine.
Thank you for serving your country be it in the sewers or the battlefield.
To the husband’s and sons, father’s and brothers, Dad’s and boyfriends, best friends and colleagues.
I salute you.