To my son on his 9th Birthday

This time 9yrs ago you came into my life like the impatient little bugger you are.

I was so afraid of getting your perfect little body wrong I didn’t eat a single bad food. Whatever they said don’t go near I avoided like the plague. And all I wanted was cooked cabbage with butter and vinegar and roast chicken washed down with litres of milk anyway.

You brought out the best in me Son, and you brought out a few choice words too I must say.

I understand you being sand inside Son but did you have to pour it into the TV and Sky box as well?

We’re you trying to make our TV grow? Knowing your mind? Probably lol

From the second you were in me you made your presence known. Such dramatic morning sickness lol

At my first scan at 7wks you turned and waved at the camera. The sonographer has to ask us if we just saw what she saw.

You were the talk of the hospital from then on.

They took bets to see when you’d be born because the midwives were convinced my dates were wrong because you were so advanced.

I was in labour for three days before I knew I was in labour and your father slept the whole time.

I video taped my labor until they wheeled me to theatre.

You were due on the 29th and came out on the 12th. Weighing a fragile 10lbs 1oz and 50cm long.

You looked at me and with those enormous chimpunk cheeks said “So your my Mum”

Your umbilical chord was so thick they had to get maintenance sheets because you broke the surgical ones.

Doctors came from other hospitals, nurses came from other wards, grandparents came from other rooms just to see you.

They would all ask to hold you and take photos.

We would walk down the street and people would stop to tell us how cool, or awesome you were. You got free food everywhere we went. Your Dad and I never feed you when we were out until you were… actually you still get free food lol 

Girls flock to you and your completely oblivious.

When that 10yr old was giving you the eye you were convinced she was after your cake and proceeded to hide the cake.

Son!!! Hide the cake until your 30 please. Live before you go serving slices ok?

Don’t give me that stroke.

Your so kind and gentle, creative, so lazy and hilarious like your Father. Your so silly and imaginative, passionate and oblivious to mean, like me.

Your humour, your talents, your inquisitive mind, your creative theatrical imagination, your stories, puns, quibs and gestures delight me in a way that puffs my already expansive GG chest.

Because I can’t believe I get to say ‘I made that giant long haired goofball loudly making Sonic noises as he jumps off furniture talking about his plan to defeat his enemy while holding his Dr Eggman plush toy. His brother is his allies some days, mortal enemy the next.

You have said since you were 2 you wanted to be a surgeon. Cardio Thoracic now Heart. You’ve never changed your mind about surgery. 

But so you know, you be whatever you want to be my Shining Star. As long as your happy. If I can raise you to be happy, to have dreams and work hard to make them come true then I can die happy.

Your brother and you are my driving force for living. You gave me life the day I conceived you. Now I’ll work so hard to give you one worth living ok?

I want to be a good woman in your life Son. I want to show you a positive view of what a real woman is. If I can be a good positive role model in your life I can help you make good choices in love. As a Mum I’m always going to be worried about who you bring home. But as a female, it’s the ones you don’t that bother me most.

But I know your heart and I know your mind so I’ll try not to dislike the ones who don’t deserve you or arrange the wedding of the ones who do lol

I’m always gonna love you the most so it doesn’t matter lol 

You know your the best thing that ever happened to me son.

Your Dad’s and I are so proud of you. Your a conscientious, polite, well behaved, frustrating, pain in my ass and I thank the stars for you every day.

When they pulled you out, I was fat, greasy, pimples everywhere, with my hair falling out in chunks and you lifted your head up and looked at me like I was beautiful and then all was perfect in my life from that moment on. I knew it was all gonna be ok because we were in this together.

And then your Dad’s surgical pants fell down and his white hairy ass was exposed to everyone in the theatre and the anaesthesiologist has to leave my side to hold his pants up or everyone was about to see his fish and tackle hahahaha LMAO!! your Father is such a dork hahahaha

To say I love you isn’t enough. 

I live you sounds better.

I live you with all my heart and soul my beautiful little man.

Keep us forever in each others hearts, then we will live on forever okay my Empathic Capricorn?

Just so you know

You are everything I got perfect in this life.

Your brother’s debatable hahahaha 

depending on which Twin is out that day. Bloody Geminis. HAHAHA

Happy Day of your birth remoreal (I know it’s not a word, it means remember and memorial like memoriam)
Live and Love, Love and Light my prize

Forever yours and in your own words

“The woman I love, that crazy woman, My”




Just….don’t grow up too fast ok? Give me time to process you growing up and leaving me to deal with your Father.

If your going to grow up and be independent, can’t I come too? Just take me with you. That’s all I ask.

If you’re abandoning me to be grown up and responsible, let Mummy do it for you Schmoopy. Ok? Then you can do important big boy things you need to do.

Son…why….why do you want to leave me?

I gave you life, why are you breaking my heart? Explain it to one of your father’s please because I’m at a loss as to why your so eager to get away from me…….haha

I’m not crazy son, I’m passionate.

Just give me time to adjust and I’ll be ok.

It should only take about 20yrs I reckon….then once I’ve dealt with puberty, your 20s shouldn’t be so hard to prepare for.

You know what’s scary? You say you want a wife just like me haha I know I say about the role model thing but just…… Scorpio women are trouble to men Son, just…avoid Scorpio women. lol be careful what you wish for. Just don’t say you want a daughter like me or your in real trouble lol