As we begin to see in a new year I’d like you all to think about what you want to come out of 2018.
I have a busy year ahead. Exams to sit, contracts to sign, charities to start, visas to get, homes to find, moves to make…. I look back on my 2017 with bittersweet joy.
I got to see the kindest of strangers in a foreign land I long to call home.
My compass was set North and it took me east. My north is East. I was taken in by the kindest people, I had generosity like I’ve never known. Selfless acts of the financial and residential kind. Self sacrificing beauty in people I didn’t know.
I have held and helped wipe many years, put smiles on many faces and made a lot of people rethink their lives and their situations and I’ve seen loyalty beyond description of the word.
This year I learned who loved me for me, bare bones, warts and all, and those who loved the idea of me but the reality not being what they expected when I had choices to make.
I’ve had people bend over backwards and sacrifice many hours of their time to look after me and help me achieve my goals and dreams.
I have said goodbye to family and friends, students and clients who will now only see me as Spirits. I have said goodbye to friends and family, students and clients who I will never see in life again.
I have said hello to people who will be in my life until the day I die.
I have held the dying, the broken, the lost and confused. I have calmed the anger and confusion, sadness and fear of too many to count.
And I have put minds and hearts at ease.
I have seen the love of my children and support of my men in a humbling way that pushes me forward every day.
I have lost my mind to find my senses. I have lost a fat person, small child and medium sized dog in weight, gained confidence in myself and lost trust in those around me.
I fought for freedom, I fought for my life, I fought for my name and I fought for honesty and integrity.
I had to make the worst decisions this year, and hurt many people. I let a lot of people down because in the end I chose the mission to heal others over friendship.
I was recently reminded by my teacher, what these last 4yrs have been about. I have been reminded by her and The Council what was important.
I am making a huge connection between mental and physical illness and evolutionary well being and I need time to focus on my work. Because what I’m doing will help so much more people than those I’ve had to leave behind.
I know it sounds cruel, but I can only carry those who are willing to walk with me. I can’t carry those who need to be carried because I need to be strong for those who can’t carry themselves any further. Living or dead. This is why this year has been hard on me mentally, emotionally and physically. Because I’m being trained, brained and drained, in order to be the strongest light for those who only see darkness.
Of the emotional, mental and paranormal kind.
This year has been the biggest eye opener of my life. I never thought in a million years I’d be up against some of the anguish I’ve had presented to me this year. But I’m grateful for every second of it because out of darkness came the light.
I always say ‘Out of Shit Grows Roses’ and now my bulbs are starting to bud I’m excited to see what 2018 and I want to say this to you.
Please….when life gets hard in your 2018, think carefully about the choices you made that led to you being in the situation your in. Be honest with yourself and take full responsibility for the role you played in it. Be honest with your self. Your Higher self I mean. Your here for a reason only YOU know the purpose of.
Figure out what it is. If you want to build yourself up into something strong and full of purpose and direction, give yourself and your ancestors journey the respect it deserves by giving you the life your Spirit deserves.
If your life is miserable it’s because your allowing it to be.
Don’t stay doing anything with or for anyone if it makes YOU miserable. That is the wrong kind of self sacrifice that will only ensure you come back again once this job as you is over.
It’s ok to leave…….it doesn’t have to be hard. You can always choose to be amicable. If situations lead it not to be just remember, you can always choose to be the better person.
If your miserable, your Spirit is screaming at you to head north. As in trust your instincts and do what’s right by YOU. Your not here for anyone else in this life but you.
Take care of your responsibilities. Your children didn’t ask for your path, but they chose to be a part of your journey, so respect them and always do what’s right by them. Your children and pets should always be the only thing that comes first IF they are young.
Let your adult children forge their own paths. Let go of the fear you have for them. If you trust yourself as a parent you know deep down you raised them well.
Now is your time to celebrate the job you did well. Live for you and your kids will follow wherever you are, whatever you do if you raised them well.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Music, flavours, textures, hobbies etc….do what makes you happy. If that hobby or activity makes you feel good, do it. That hobby or thing you do that gives you calm, or balance or peace is there for a reason…..do it.
Answer to no-one. Stop being honest to spare feelings, just don’t be cruel. We can be honest and diplomatic when disagreeing.
STOP JUDGING OTHERS. If no-one has harmed you personally don’t judge them for their skin colour, sexual orientation, religion or background. Not one of us is perfect and until you know someone’s story don’t judge them for anything that has no direct impact on your life.
The person to give your loved one a life saving kidney, retina, give you CPR, rescue you in the snow or saved your loved one from danger, or who nurses your loved one to health, could very well be the person your judging today because they are different to you when we all know your not perfect either.
Stop making excuses for being a bit ordinary and uninteresting. You don’t need to scream sexism, fascism, racism or any other ism if your interesting. No-one with a job that is actually useful feels the need to hate those who refuse to notice them.
Stop feeling entitled to things that aren’t your fight, stop taking things don’t belong to you, stop expecting to be admired for being average. Stop playing victim when your privileged, stop acting privileged when you’ve done nothing to deserve it.
And know how fuckin lucky you are every day you aren’t hungry, cold, homeless or alone.
Get a job with a title that makes sense, that actually does a thing. Contribute to the society your lucky to be a part of.
Stop trying to make yourself more important than you actually are. If people don’t like you, it’s not because your a feminist or has an opinion, it’s because your a dick. If you have a cause that matters people will listen.
But know the cause. Don’t jump in bandwagons you don’t know the suffering or sacrifice of.
It turns my stomach to see rich privileged black people screaming oppression for the black people when they are surrounded by wealth, power and influence.
Stay Calm. Violence breeds violence, ignorance breeds ignorance, hate breeds hate. Nothing good comes from being any of these things.
Brain over brawn. The pen is mightier than the sword so choose your ammunition wisely.
Just stop being dicks to people. You catch more flies with sugar than vinegar.
Be logical. Use common sense, and stop believing everything you hear.
Find your own truth. Be brave enough to find a drum, find your beat, and march to it.
Don’t be afraid to shine. You are a light contained inside of you. Let your light shine. Not everyone will see your light but not everyone is meant to or deserve to.
You’ll be seen by those who deserve to see your light. Let people earn the right to know how special you are.
Also…..don’t be afraid to talk to someone. Even if it’s a cloud, friend, pet, or tree. Talk to someone. Someone is ALWAYS listening. Don’t see getting pissed off with someone who loves you as a bad thing.
If the love and respect is real it doesn’t matter if you fight. Fighting is communicating. It extracts poison from ones Soul.
BUT respect each other enough to come back and clear the air once your over your tanty.
Respect each others point of view. It’s ok to say “I need space to think this stuff over”.
But resolve it. This is someone you love. Don’t drag stuff out. Deal with it, move on and leave the past behind you.
Remember this too. You can never go back, only forwards.
Going back pulls you backwards, you stagnate, devolve. Moving forward progresses you, advances you. Evolves you.
Choose what is best for you not what is easiest.
Stop doing what needs to be done in order to get by.
Don’t do what has to be done in order for you to survive. Do what needs to be done in order for you to live.
Choose Life. Choose You. Not the you you see when you look in the mirror, I mean the you you see when you look in your eyes.
Love what you do, do what you love and always do you.
Take time for YOU. Turn it off, close the door, get in your car, switch it on, hook it up, plug it in, pick it up, put it down, take a deep breathe and JUST DO YOU.
It brings you joy for a reason. It uplifts you for a reason. You need no-one to uplift you when you already hold yourself up there so don’t ever be afraid to JUST BE YOU.
But be the best you YOU deserve to be.
Your ancestors since the dawn of time forged this path your on right now so honour them every day in every way in every thing you do.
Remember your dead, the ones you know and the ones you don’t.
Respect the Balance. Life and Death, Good and Bad, Positive and Negative, Love and Hate, etc….just respect it.
And lastly this.
Love like someone is working hard to take it all away from you.
Live like you hear the clock ticking.
And give zero fucks what people think. If they know the essence of you, they won’t care. If they don’t understand, they’ll ask but never will they question why.
Loyalty is magnetic. It’s okay to let go. Anything someone puts you through that brings you down isn’t for you to be taking on-board. Friends and lovers are supposed share their lives and trials, your supposed to go through shit together, not lay the relationship out by a set of rules. They don’t criticize you, they offer feedback and support.
They don’t lay out rules and stipulations to friendship. No-one should ever have to sit and think about whether they want you in their life.
Help those who don’t ask for it over those who do. Sometimes people have to learn on their own. That’s something my husband taught me.
Just because you see someone making what you THINK is a mistake doesn’t mean it’s a mistake for them. No-one is obligated to take your advice. But don’t assume if someone isn’t coming to you with a problem you know they’re having that they are waiting for you to interfere.
You must trust your instincts. Not everyone wants your help or opinion.
There’s a way to approach these situations. So observe your surroundings and remember, at the end of the day, it’s only your business if your asked to make it your business. Don’t take other people’s issues on-board if it doesn’t directly affect your life unless they matter to you and would do the same.
You give respect where you get it.
And lastly, be kind to your body.
Your not beautiful fat, your broken and need healing. Be good to your body, then your body is good to you. Your conscious self is connected to the physical but if you heal your mind, your Spirit heals too.
Heal by doing what you love. It’s ok to step away and be with yourself.
It’s ok to cry, get mad or be sad. Give your self time to get over what your Soul is making you feel. Release the valve.
But also have the presence of mind and Spirit to get over it.
Don’t drag it out. It’s not progressive and does no one least yourself any good.
Take care of YOU. The you you see when you look in your eyes.
No-one knows you better. No-one trusts you more to do you both right than YOU.
So in 2018 Celebrate you. Choose YOU. All Three of YOU.
And I wish for 2018 you learn how to choose you…….
And that you always have enough. Enough love, enough food, enough money, enough of whatever you need to be the best you you deserve to be.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS. FOR YOUR SUPPORT, LOVE, PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING AS I EMBARK ON THIS JOURNEY OF NEEDING TO RULE THE PARANORMAL WORLD AS DOPRAH!!! (Oprah but stoned) hahahaha
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
MAMA, PAPA, AND ALL HER THE CUBS
Saddle up my Paranormal Renegades. It’s about to kick off and I need my Deputies at the ready.