Before I came to America last month to do this radio show and start the process of trying to get my visa and so on, I sent a message out on Facebook to the people I would be spending a lot of time with to explain to them that as an Empath I will have times in my life where I will need to detach and spend time alone.
That they weren’t to take it personally. In fact I’ll just show you the message.
It is as follows:
I really don’t like socializing unless I have to. I prefer to sit and work on my connection then have down time. I don’t like being told, I like being asked, I don’t like sharing my life unless I want to share. I am a private person unless I want to be public. I am a Scorpio. I like to decide when and where I go. It’s hard for me to express this to people who are comfortable being social. I get accused of being a snob or rude but I’m not. I’m independent and I like to know my surroundings before I charge into them. People think because I’m a hurricane with them I’m a hurricane with everyone but I’m not. AT ALL. I don’t like crowds, I don’t like being in unfamiliar surroundings and I don’t like being babied. I’m not complicated. I’m just Scorpio. I want you to help me be independent and you’ll get loyalty in abundance. But I don’t like people talking about me, sharing my life, deciding my life or assuming things. My life is an open book only once I take the lock off.
Why? Because I deal with death every single day on levels 99% of the population can’t even imagine. My articles on mental health are being published, my clients rely on me to keep their issues confidential. I take what I do very seriously. Not to mention the grief and heartache associated with my work. It’s so much for me to carry these burdens on my shoulders. I take people’s fears and turn them into hope. No-one understands that in order for ME to be free of these burdens I need time to my self. I need time to sort the emotions out in my head and release them so they don’t become my burdens too.
Please don’t be offended if I say no to something or don’t want to do it. Please understand that in one 20hr working period I may have held a man grieving for the loss of his child, helped a man decide not to hang himself, helped a woman change her career path, passed messages on to a grieving husband, taught 6 students Medianship through murder and done some Physics. My job and my gift are as protected to me as my children are. If I ask you not to share, or give me space, or help me understand something it is nothing personal. You just don’t know what goes on in my life that day.
I absorb everything like a sponge. When I’m out with you, you see people having fun, you see people being people. I hear blinding noise, I hear their fears, worries and thoughts, their broken hearts and suicidal thoughts, their debt worries and dishonesties. On top of which I’ll then have the dead telling me how to fix them all which is impossible even though it’s all I want to do. I was born just wanting to love everyone. Because I can’t that is a burden for me. So I avoid it as much as I can and let the universe decide who I am to help.
If your in my life it means I love you. If I let you in it means I trust you. But I trust you only once. It’s not easy being me. I work long hours to help people. If I want to stay home it’s with good reason.
Please try and understand that and it’s about to get worse because when I get to America I’ll be working as much as possible. I need to earn money to provide for my family and pay taxes when I’m there. The things I’ll experience will be bigger than even I’m used to. Being thrust into the limelight the second I’m working. No time with my kids, missing my man, work on my mind, people to employ to drive me, manage my career, travel costs, rent to pay etc…my burdens become mine pretty fast.
But I do it because it’s my dream, my dream job, my dream friends and family surrounding me in many states and continents. I’m a sponge. I need to wash myself out and let myself hang out to dry. Otherwise I will become heavy with the things I absorb. So please if you don’t hear from me, or I’m quiet or anti social it’s nothing you’ve done. I’m just doing what I need to do to release my energy so I don’t end up like the people I’m in America to help.
It’s not easy being the one person 100,000 people plus a year come to for advice and guidance.
But I do it because I can. I do it because I want to. I do it because I am Scorpio, I do it because I am Debbielee. I am the person I am born to be.
Thank you all for reading this if you did. That in itself means a lot to me. My only fear in life is letting people down. I don’t want to be doing that for anyone.
But it does often come at a detriment to myself.
Since I wrote that post I have been around hundreds of people who I have absorbed their thoughts and emotions like a sponge.
I read people every second of every day even when I’m not reading them as my job. An Empath absorbs everything around them like a sponge.
If your not an Empath your never going to understand what it is to be one.
We can’t be around gossip, we can’t be around prejudice, we can’t be around hate or negativity because we absorb it and reflect it back IF we don’t know how to handle it.
Most people don’t know how to handle it so they become depressed or suicidal.
This is why people in the new age philosophies piss me off so much. Because they use this word like it is peanut butter and it like peanut is cloying to my palate and drives me nuts.
Anyone who is an ACTUAL Empath doesn’t tell people they are one because it evokes a whole range of issues so it is easier to just never tell people. An Empath is more than someone who cares, it is more than someone who sympathizes and it is costing people their lives and I’m the one who has to pick those pieces of suicide and depression up.
I have been around thee most horrendous situations since I have been in Wisconsin and there has been absolutely nothing I can do about it because I’m in a confined space most of the time and as I started to feel myself get weighed down by the negativity that has been surrounding me with peoples thoughts, griefs, sadness and inner turmoil’s my beautiful and very patient teacher Pauline Wardel Braddon came to me and said ‘Just look up’.
At first I wasn’t sure what she meant. My student bumblebee did a reading for me and he kept saying in this reading to Just Look Up.
And because I file stuff like that away in my head it comes out just at the right time.
Yesterday I couldn’t stand it any more. I HAD to get into my quiet space and try to decompress everything that is going on in my head.
I’m dealing with my gift, and my empathic side while trying to figure my future out, work with clients in my usual day job I do in the UK and my students, along with my radio show and missing my boys and fiancé all at the same time.
No one will ever understand what it is to be me. And I can’t talk to anyone about what I am because no one understands. It is never as simple as ‘letting go’ or ‘talking about it’.
It builds up like lime scale and over time it can wear heavy on ones soul and the only way to remove it is to do what you need to do to remove the scum that becomes hard on your heart.
That is why I say, have an outlet. Whatever your thing is. do it. It helps, it really does.
But once in a while it isn’t enough. So like yesterday when I couldn’t stand it any more I had an incredible moment with a Spirit in the place I was staying and then my teacher came and reminded me to JUST LOOK UP!!!
She then went on to explain it like this and I share it with you.
Go somewhere quiet and lay on your back. And just look up.
Because looking up will what is there will always be more simplistic than what is around you and inside you.
Looking up will be a plain ceiling, with one maybe two colours of objects to purvey.
Looking up will be a beautiful night sky with dark blues and stars, or a sky of greys and blues with whites if it’s a nice day.
Looking up is calm on ones mind and looking around or within is a kaleidoscope of colours and emotions that can be overwhelming to your mind. So lay down and just look up.
So I did just that. I went to my room where I get changed. I put my blanket on the cold floor and turned the lights off and just looked up. Before long my mind stopped racing. My heart began to beat a little slower and before I knew it I was calm and relaxed again having started to think about simple things like how good it feels to hold my boys in my arms.
How nice it feels to be held by my fiancé. Kittens that look like Hitler or Kitlers as my friend Becca calls them.
I felt the negative leave me. I felt it drain from my soul.
I went to see my friend Colin Slife race the other day. He is an incredible car racing prodigy who will be a Nascar champion by the time he is 19-20 years old. He is an inspiration to me and the perfect role model for my boys and children everywhere.
At 14 he raced against grown men and did so fantastically well I was proud and honoured to be a apart of it. I LOVE cars. I loved watching him drive 100 times around that track.
BUT with hundreds of spectators there it was impossible for me not to absorb peoples thoughts.
There were affairs going on, people wanting to kill themselves and deciding how, people secretly HATING each other with such venom in their hearts and some of it was directed at that poor boy.
I of course had to protect him and ended up blowing the lights out in the stadium because of it.
But I also saw sexual predators eyeing up some of the kids playing and women hating on other women because of the men there were with etc…
At one point I nearly ran out of there. I can NOT under ANY circumstance be around negative minds and hearts because with my gift it can turn dark and dangerous.
I could kill someone with my thoughts, if I transmitted that kind of bad energy out to the people who made me angry I could crash their cars, make them go nuts or worse.
With great power comes great responsibility. I take what I do very seriously. People trust me with their deepest darkest thoughts and fears and I am proud to say I have built my reputation on three things.
People know I speak the truth when I counsel them. That my intentions are honourable and my heart is in the right place.
I observe EVERYTHING. The curse of a Scorpio is we watch and observe our surroundings even when we appear dopey and docile.
The students I stay with for a while freak out because before I leave them I ‘read them’ and make observations that ring true to their very core.
I floor them and it makes them go away from me happier and more focused and a little shocked because they assume the whole time I’m just a big floppy haired Muppet who swans around all dazed and confused.
But I pay attention to every detail. Because of this I need time to decompress and a lot of people just don’t get that sometimes it means in order to do that I need to Just Look Up.
My students under s certain level of ability know they will never be allowed to watch me read, or hold sessions with fellow students.
My life, my feelings, my work is 100% confidential. This is the basis and foundation of my very existence.
I make no apologies for this. There are only two people in this world who have built trust with me over the years to decompress to verbally and I was married to one and about to marry the other.
My ex on one side and my current on the other. They are my scales. They are the two that have seen me develop my gift over the years and don’t judge me when I have melt downs or cry.
You can explain this to people till your blue in the face but I trust very few people with my inner thoughts and cerebral process for the simple fact that no one will ever understand what it is to be me.
I live by the voices in my head. I don’t judge, gossip, criticize, condemn or try to complain.
Writing is my outlet for expression as is working out and music.
But while I might be the worlds first Paranormal Scientist and while my life appears to be cool and super happy fun time it is hard and exhausting when you absorb everything like a sponge.
An Empath is telepathic as well and 99% of people who are suicidal hear voices thinking they are losing their minds not knowing they are hearing Spirit of the voices of people they have encountered that day or week.
If you don’t have an outlet it builds up like a volcano and will erupt into something dark if you don’t have an outlet.
So I’m sharing this with all of you who feel like your heart wears heavy with the burdens of the world.
Go somewhere quiet, no people around, lay on your back and Just Look Up.
Stay there until your mind is clear. Look at the simple shapes and colours. It really does work.
You’ll come out of it exhausted but then have something to eat and watch how incredible it feels afterwards.
I feel fantastic.
Sometimes even caring people need to be a little selfish. If you don’t take time to rinse out that sponge your soul becomes dirty from mess you absorb around you, you simply end up smearing your own life with the filth you absorbed and you deserve so much better than that.
You were given your good heart for a reason and you can’t let ANYONE under ANY circumstances taint that in you.
It is okay to remove yourself from the negative in your life. If you are around people talking mean about people, if your around prejudice and gossip it is okay to shut yourself off. They will never understand what it is to be you.
You get one shot at this life. Don’t make yourself have to come back because you didn’t award yourself the time to just look up while others look down.
The choices you make today directly affect the consequences of those choices tomorrow. So make better choices for YOU not anyone else.
As I always say ‘Live your life for others, make them happy, live your life for you, make you happy’
If the people in your life truly care about you they will understand and give you time to do you.
If not, they aren’t friends and shouldn’t be in your life in the first place so maybe the universe is trying to tell you they are one of the negative things your soaking like a sponge.
whether it be your job, your school, your friends or family, your society or your street, if your an Empath your going to absorb it all.
The New Age movement should be ashamed of themselves for wrongly identifying themselves in such a manner and I will make sure now I have a Talk show on WRMN1410 that people know the truth.
They aren’t the ones picking up the pieces of what an Empath really is.
I am. And because of that once in a while I need to remove myself to a dark room and Just Look Up.
Until you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders don’t judge those of us who do.
Because one day it will be your weight we carry on our shoulders too and you won’t want us faltering and stumbling when we do it.