My Journey with Martin in photos updated.

These photos tell my journey with my future husband and why I want to save the money to go be his wife and live in America.

I’m just keeping it real with you.

See what happens when you listen to the voices in your head?

Suicidal people I beg you. Listen to the voices telling you to live.

Those voices change your life.

I’m determined to be his wife.

I’ve worked my asses of getting to this stage.

I know I’ve still got a way to go but I think I can say I’m allowed to be a little bit proud.

The reason I decided to post that lady picture is because it’s empowering.

It documents my journey from 365lbs or 26.5 stone to not 465lbs or 26.5 stone.

I have body dismorphia syndrome I think.

Because when I look in the mirror and all I see is Debbie who is 365lbs still and I hate my body.

But this picture reminds me I’m not that girl anymore.

And it’s ok.

I forgive my abusers. I forgive my haters and my attackers.

For two reasons.

1) Nothing anyone on earth could do to you will come close to what you’ll do to yourself when you die.

And

2) Because now I’m happy it means nothing you ever did to me owns me any more.

That isn’t sweat my body excretes it’s tears.

That’s me working off the pain you caused my body, my mind and my heart.

You tried to break me and I made me whole again. I did that. The one you all thought would never amount to anything.

Well I am at least better than you.

For all I’ve done in my life I’ve never done anything remotely like what you’ve done so I’m grateful for that.

This picture is me saying once and for all.

YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME

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