What I look for in a Student:

I know some of you reading this will be aware of the fact that when I started teaching my work I started with 29 students in total. Some were being taught how to be happy and have Spirit guide them and some were being taught to be like me. To have the connection to Spirit I have.

I’m now down to 7. Yes 7, my magic number.

My elimination process has been brutal and even painful at times but I wanted to explain why it has to be this way in the hopes it can explain a few things to those left behind and to anyone wanting to become a student, what it is I’m looking for.

1) Judgement: Some were let go for judging others within the group. I can’t have that.

My life is Death. Death comes in MANY forms. Just when I think I’ve heard it all….. I haven’t.

It’s not for us as White Lighters to judge anyone. As a Teacher and Spiritual Leader I’m responsible for every single person I send out into the world after a session (reading) or Class (students).

I will not train anyone who judges how a person grieves or lives. You are expected to guide, advise and console many lives and most of those lives are more fucked up, heartbroken, or controversial than you can ever imagine. But their journey is their own not yours. If they are sent to you it is with good reason. If you can’t handle a fellow student talking through their grief, you won’t sit through a strangers either without judgement.

I have a VERY strict code I live by and I expect no less from my students as my Teacher did me.

This gift is given, that is why it’s called a Gift, a present from the Universe with which your awarded when you prove yourself worthy of it otherwise it would be called a Right.

Noone has the right to judge anyone.

I’ve earned my stripes and I’m allowed to observe behaviour because I’m no responsible for whoever comes after me in the name of my Society.

Lives matter to me. It should to you too.

2) Dedication: We all have busy lives, some of us have kids and careers also but noone won a gold medal in the Olympics sitting on their ass moaning and eating cake.

I expect work to be done at some point. If you want this, you’ll do the work. Extenuating circumstances permitted of course but this life isn’t easy. If you can’t train your Pineal Gland even if at 2am if necessary then you won’t work till 5am helping a woman who’s child committed suicide aged 9yrs old who’s looking to you for closure and assurance that he’s okay and at peace in Spirit.

This life is loooooong hard hours with the biggest rewards waiting at the end of every story. This life isn’t about YOU. It’s about those Spirit have directed your way needing your help and guidance. 

If you can’t turn in an assignment time after time, then this life isn’t for you. Spirit train around you, but you have to out in the effort. 

This gift is a privilege not a right and the golden rule with my Bosses is this ‘You take care of them and we take care of you’ 

I work long hours, 20 a day in fact, teaching, doing readings, looking after my boys, replying to my hundreds of emails and comments (which I’m now behind in), doing my Science and writing, now I have m new business venture and promotional work to do and new Vlogs and YouTube podcasts to do also. Yet I do it. I don’t complain. I just do it. Because with every passing day I’m getting happier and younger apparently lol (that’s what people keep saying???????). Because I can rest when I’m dead but for now Spirit need me to do a job and I’ll be by their side all the way as they have been for me.

Ride or Die with them and I no in between. I expect the same ethos for my students as my Teacher did for me. Even in her 70s she was up early teaching me, spreading her incredible light often not knowing how she was going to do it but her faith was unshakable and every time without fail she achieved what she set out to do because of it. She taught me so much. I miss her desperately. She’s not been around in a while. Usually she comes with her file lol but I’ve ended my training, so now I’m left to my own devices and only Spirit watch over me. 

The Council await. If I pass this ‘right of passage’ or ‘coming of age’ phase of my journey my rewards will be epic and I’m fully of The Light. I’ve been left to wander the jungle alone at night with nothing more than a stick for defense lol if I survive this, my life changes forever. The rewards immeasurable. (Gift wise i mean).

Any of my students who make it that far will go through the same thing. If Spirit, or The Council say jump you don’t ask ‘why’  you say ‘How High’
3) Loyalty: When training, Spirit, Your Teacher, and your clan come first. No taking sides, you just don’t question why your being asked to walk away. If you question why your teacher you trust enough to open your gift is asking you to walk away from something or someone then you don’t trust your Teacher or Spirit.

 I don’t do what I do without good reason. That should be enough. Never in a billion years would I question Pauline. She commanded respect without uttering a word. It was just given to her because none of us questioned her word or reason for anything. That fascinated me about her.

Ask as many questions as you want, but never ask your Teacher to explain their actions or reasons, it sounds harsh and yes it is blind faith in a fallible entity BUT if you question me, you’ll question Spirit, if you question Spirit you’ll question The Council and The Council decide your fate with this gift. If they tell you ‘start packing’ 6 months after moving house you don’t question it. 

In the run up to you bring allowed to be graced by The Councils presence, Spirit have proven themselves over and over again, never to let you down; so The Council phase of your training is to the point where when they turn up confusing the shit out of you with all their awkward glory asking you to prepare for something life changing, you don’t even bat an eyelid.

If you do that with phase one of your training (Me) you don’t stand a chance of getting to phase 500 (The Council). 

Plus I need to know my work is safe. I’m making history. I need to know the secrets of death I’m privy to are in safe hands. So I always look for loyalty.

4) Selflessness: If your in this because it’s cool and you want to be a part of something awesome then your gonna get removed. Some of my former students did this because they wanted to be apart of something not realizing I’d be expecting them to train and actually do the work necessary.

This isn’t about me or you. It’s about the people Spirit need you to help. If you make this about you then you’ll get removed. It sounds harsh but you can’t think about yourself. If you’ve been chosen and you do all that is asked, the rewards waiting in this life and the next are the sort money or take or smarts can’t buy.

Just because yoyr of the light doesn’t mean you don’t stop chasing it because light is infinite with enough of a power source behind it. Being selfish is darkness.

5) Faith: It doesn’t matter your religion, faith needs to be absolute. So no matter what life throws at you, you have faith absolute that Spirit and your Teacher and even your fellow students have your back.

When you question me, or yourself you question Spirit. Everything I do is because I’m told to. Everything I teach is because I’m told to. I’m not infallible. I’m a pain in the fuckin ass who can jump the gun and get over emotional about stuff, but what I teach, what I am is genuine.

I really am this bitchy, bossy, loving and loyal. I’m totally insane to a seemingly sane world. But my faith in Spirit and my connection to Spirit is unbreakable. I’m loyal to who’s loyal to me and you can’t get more loyal than the dead. They have all the time in the world for me and my insane mind so I have all the time in the Universe for them.

Coz I’m a Scorpio so I will always love someone a thousand billion times more than they love me lol

6) Love: If you can’t love yourself or those in your class you can’t love a stranger who needs your love to survive. And you WILL have many many many people who will love you and want your love in return because they respect you that much. My clients, students and fans are the most steadfast and loyal people in the Universe. The things my fans, clients and followers offer up to me just to love me or help me has me in tears at just how kind and selfish people are. 

These people in my mind are part of my Spiritual family. My students are my children, my son’s are my light. The whole purpose for my being. But when I need them, they’re all there for me. Selflessly and genuine. I love them eternally for this love. It makes my light shine brighter as what shines at me gets reflected back to the world.

Love what you do, do what you love, love what your born to be,  be what your born to love. No exceptions or explanations.

7) Commitment: If you commit to training and agree to make contributions towards your training be a person of your word. I know I say ‘donations only ‘ but when you don’t pay its my children who go without the shoes they needed that month and that’s no fair. I’m taking a chance on you as much as you are on me. You sign contracts. When you decide not to pay I then have to pick up extra work. I’m not in this for money. Some of you paid $5 a month for the same amount of training as those who paid $100 but 90% of my work is done for free and what i make goes towards my family. I rarely pocket any of what I make unless I need vitamins or something. If I was in this for the money I’d of kept all the other students on and be swimming in money. 

But if you can’t make a commitment to me to be a person of your word where we have a symbiotic relationship, then I can’t give you my time because you forget I have up a very lucrative job to do this and it’s important to me. 

It’s not fair that because I’m Spiritual I’m EXPECTED to teach you for free when you knew coming in to this I’m relying on you to help me provide for my family.

You wouldn’t work for free in your job so don’t ask me to work for free in mine. I have students who don’t pay a penny but whom give me so much back in return. It’s really not about the money. But when you decide not to pay for a few months or even a month and not bother telling me then your being selfish and I’m going to let you go. I can’t carry dead weight. I have too much on my shoulders as it is. 

Some of my students pay in promoting my work or giving free readings to people I send to them. It really isn’t about the money. But the 7 who remain prove their commitment to this Society and in return when they fall on hard times they come to me, we make a deal and move on until they’re back in their feet. Some of my students just wouldn’t bother paying or explaining their situation to me not giving me a chance to get the work to replace the lost income and chasing them up isn’t my thing.

In the end I got fed up and now suspend the contracts of anyone who doesn’t pay me the respect of an explanation. It’s a give and take thing. You help me, I help you.

Once your a White Lighter you won’t pay anyway. Because then we become colleagues.

I’ve learned so much in this last 12 months I can’t keep my head straight. It’s still spinning from my marriage split but I accept this new life with love and light.

I’ve got so much to teach and say. I feel responsible for everyone who crossed my path. My readings have changed so much. I genuinely love every second now of every reading I do because I’ve lost the fear of getting it wrong. I blocked myself with my fear of getting stuff wrong.

Now I understand death and the evolution of the soul better than anyone, my readings are having a real impact of people and I love every reading I do.

I don’t expect everyone to like me or understand why I do what I do. I’m brutal and probably even hurtful at times when I’ve cut someone from my life or class but it’s not intentional but they know the rules coming in to this.

No cliques, gossip or taking over and no insubordination. A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link. If your a weak link you take the whole fence down so I need to protect the fence first.

Noone stops to think about the precious property that fence protects and keeps safe behind its parameters.

I do because I’m the bloody security guard who’s life depends on how good of a job I’m doing to protect it.

I say I’m the Drill Sergeant for the Universe. Spirit being the light source of that Universe. If you can get past me, all time, light and life will be at your disposal including the legions of dead who chose you to guide and take care of. 

So I’m sorry if I appear brutal. I genuinely do love you all but you sign a contract. You know the rules. If you break the rules you have to go because I’m part of an elite group of genetics who’s gifts have been hunted for centuries. I’ll only take the best into Battle with me because the survival of light depends on it.

You can say you see the light but I guarantee you this. You’ll never see the light the way I do without proving yourself worthy.

My students are taught tens of thousands of years worth of ability as well as ground breaking, cutting edge, history making Science. I intend on taking them all with me on my journey in this life so I only want those who will not leave me behind as I won’t leave them behind either. No man left behind in this battle of good versus evil and the next few months in the US is going to be just that. A battle of good versus evil.

People like me WILL be left to pick up the broken pieces and my students and I will be ready and it’s already happening.

I’m doing more readings now than I ever did. They’re evolved. My readings have evolved into something new. And I love it so much. I’m really helping Spirit make a difference in people’s lives now. It’s so much more than predictions now. It’s guidance and support from Spirit which I love.

And now my students are starting to do the same. I’m so proud of them.

I’ve even adopted two of my girls. With adoption certificates and everything lol while not legal by law, it’s legal to us and that’s all that matters.

AND I found my PA. Who knew hiding under all that sexy she’d be the one person who could control the errant wild trouble with tits that I am without me kicking off and being all stubborn and grumpy? Lol HA!!! 

I love the way Spirit work. And my ex is now going to be my Manager until such time as he’s sick of me and wants to go off and paint lol

I am really pushing my career now with his help. My clients and SAM have been instrumental in forging my career in the US and globally and I vow to work as hard as I have to , to never let any of them down.

I love my life. I really do. I’ve never been this happy or confident and it’s all because of Spirit. How they evolve you is ingenious and now I’m passing the ability on to others.

It’s a gift not a given after all

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The Parallels between Death and The Cosmological Constant (updated)

Please bear with me as I haven’t slept since Saturday. My son has been ill and vomiting for 36 hours and I haven’t slept because he has been vomiting while asleep.

I HAVE to get this down as I have seen it or I’ll forget from being so tired. (The revised part was I forgot to draw to a conclusion why I feel there can’t be a heaven using a torch as reference)

I won’t sleep until he stops vomiting.

Okay, so God. I asked Spirit once ‘Who created the Universe and all life?’ and they showed me me cells, then the human brain, panned out, a human, panned out a country, panned out the continent, panned out the planet, panned out the Universe, panned out the human brain and that over and over again and for years I’ve been racking my brain trying to decipher it.

Well I just did. Now I’m writing it down.

Spirit have been teaching me about what they call The Tornado Effect, which is when things get sucked down black holes to have their fate decided. Either it goes to the light in the middle or gets spat back out to start again as a new life form.

So…reincarnation.

The Cosmological Constant is an expansion of the Universe based on everything being in perfect balance enough to push everything outwards.

So….evolution of Spirit ie going from the lowest life form to the highest based on how quickly you get the balance of self right in your last form.

Cells create life, cells die, the body dies.

Living organisms in the Universe have been doing the same since the big bang. Since the first bacteria grew single cells. The Universe did the same. Then began a loop of evolution, existence of being (as they call it) and recycling.

For the few things that make it to the light, it gets to evolve and decide where it goes.

Everything goes to a light source, or rather everything wants to get to the light source because light is creation and they knew this when the Authors and drunks paid to write the bible wrote the bible.

This is why they said ‘God said let their be light’.

The LIGHT is LIFE. The Cosmological Constant is the expanse of light which creates in it’s path like how after sex our eggs and sperms create life.

From the minute we are born we decide our fate.

People who die do so because their on a constant loop.

This is why when people die they report seeing ‘The Tunnel’, this is OUR form of a black hole. If you go to the light you got the balance right enough that you get to evolve and create your own cosmological constant.

The Light people see in death and the dead is THE LIGHT in that loop.

And as I have said before because everything has a balance there are two forms of everything.

The loop is the ring of light everything wants to get to because it controls time and when you control time you can’t die. You lie forever. But we aren’t infallible. It takes a long time to get to that circle of light, you have to all work together in order to help each other get there.

Our friends in traveling craft did just that so they get to jump in and out of the light.

We are ticking Timebombs; everything in this Universe including us, cells, anything created basically. And we decide when to jump out of the loop.

So people who die are evolving at a faster rate than those who are left behind. The younger you are the higher evolved you are. As are those who got off their planets and evolved past wars, money, religion, politics etc….

There are many constant forms of light. Love, Empathy, Inspiration, Sex, Cooking. The light is cause and effect and we decide the cause of death and the effect it has on our selves and those around us.

It is something we ALL agree to before we come and live this life for the lessons that come with it. So if you’ve lost a loved one, you agreed to this life of losing them. You both agreed to help each other evolve before coming to live your lives together in the capacity with which you did.

Those of us left behind are helping our loved ones take a step up the ladder to the light. Each life has it’s own light, it’s own loop. When the loop is filled it has expanded beyond capacity and thus it’s propelled forward or expands to the next form of light and it keeps expanding until it in itself becomes light.

So it means all life is it’s own cosmological constant and like the one that is expanding our Universe we all decide how and when and if it does.

We all must work together to get to the light and expand our own Constant.

But equally as important is WE must help ourselves get past the expansion of loops. Imagine if you will a ring with millions of tiny rings around the large ring. Each tiny ring is a life we have lived, a journey we have lived. When that ring is full it will be pulled and pushed out and the larger ring will expand.

So life is a form of pushing and pulling ones energy on a cellular level to get an expansion of light.

We more often choose to recycle or reincarnate because we are perfectionist in Spirit and nothing short of perfect balance will do. It’s self perpetuation on every level.

It means that theoretically speaking, if we can balance the loop, we can expand the light and live forever. Immortality, like them up there. Like the light, the eternal light, the light of all creation, the light of all time.

When you can manipulate time, you never die and be anywhere, with anyone you want. The Cosmological Constant is an expansion of light. Like the ripples of sound waves in an explosion, life is a ripple expanding until it has expelled all energy. If it runs out of energy it stops, ceases to be. If it has energy forces helping it (ie a perfect balance of explosives and detonation or life and death, conception and cessation, inspiration and creation) are just right, the ripple could in theory go on forever.

Death has a ripple effect, the Cosmological Constant IS the ripples of the big bang, cause and effect. And this is also on every level of existence. Thought has ripples, music, invention etc…it’s all relative to the expansion and evolutionary process of all life as we know it.

Life being anything created that has a purpose and consequence. But all working together to push each other forward.

There is no after the Cosmological Constant because it’s still rippling forward from the first explosion. Which means in theory it could stop at any point if there is not enough energy pushing it forward and as I’ve been taught in order for anything to evolve on any level it requires 

Balance

Time

Gravity

Magnetism 

Harmony

Magnetism being the key factor. Like when you face two magnets against each other’s polarity, it pushes each other away with force, the way TNT and a spark push the molecules of the dynamite apart which causes the explosive effect which ripples out. Magnetism is the most powerful force to creation so far that I’ve been able to figure it out.

So we could totally change cells, control when we die if we balance it all out, and live forever.

Live our own Cosmological Constant.

Please tell me I’m making sense? It’s easier for me to draw it. But this came about because of Kylie Minogue lol and the image of a cross hair from an aerial view point. The cross hairs are balance, time, gravity, harmony and all pushing everything out towards to circle creating magnetism.

This is why I love dear people. Cos this is the shit they’re teaching me instead of ‘Tell my Daughter I said my name is Mmm..Pp… Elizabeth, Mary, Margaret or something old fashioned for a woman of her age’ kind of bollocks.

My Spirits are actually changing lives.

Time is relative. To death, to seeing the dead. Time is manipulative and the dead are masters but then they would be, they’re higher evolved than us. 

And manifesting your own reality is just making a choice, or decision which has an infinite amount of possibilities and reaching forward in time to chose the best choice with the outcome you want.

Which I’ve mastered like a Boss lol

There can’t be a God, and it’s written in the stars. Because if you look at religion, there is only heaven or hell. Nothing but an end. Heaven is finite so is hell.

The Cosmological Constant is infinite. This we know. It’s scientific fact.

So heaven can’t be real because we can’t just sit on our clouds being all ‘in heaveny’ and that’s it when we know more exists beyond the light.

Our Universe is expanding and what we’re in is slowly being torn apart as our Universe expands. So just like a rubber band, if it gets stretched beyond capacity it will eventually weaken and tear.

Or if you look at light itself. The light is always weakest at its start point as it stretches to find an end point where if the energy source was strong enough could in essence go on forever. But the light will fade at one end and be stronger at the other.

If you think of the Universe as you holding a torch. You turn it on and it’s a bright flash of illuminated light at one end, blinding and strong, then it’s illuminated to shine and expand your view on the other. If you walk forward in the dark you’ll leave darkness behind you where the light once was and where your going continues to light up as you walk.

An existence of heaven would be the torch not hitting anything to light up as you walked. It would be just the burst of illuminated light at the start point and you couldn’t see beyond your own feet.

The Cosmological Constant is the light bouncing off everything and lighting it up as you walk forward and shine the light.

Leaving the start point darker than the end point which is ever expanding.

Ergo, there can’t be a heaven. No God, he’s not even the battery that gives the torch its energy source. Eventually even batteries die. All things must die and a belief in a God is no exception.

It’s the way of the Universe. Everything dies in order to evolve or make room for expansion.

We are our own Gods, we are God’s go each other and responsible for everything and everything responsible for us.

This is my theory. It’s theoretical. It’s a hypothesis based on what Spirit show me based on the music I’m drawn to. And this time, ZERO drugs in my system. Not had any for weeks.

So I’m evolving past the need.

I fuckin love how Spirit work with me. They can’t teach me using maths and stuff coz I left school at 14 and am shit at maths.

So they do it through music instead.

I’m the not so bright kid who licks walls when bored so they keep me distracted with shiny things to teach me stuff and then gets fed sweets as a reward (ie make me magic so I can get all the things I ask for in life I’ve).

My connection to Spirit is the cause, my awesome new life I’m creating is the effect.

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Anyone Else’s polarity off kilter?

I don’t know what’s going on but for the last week and a bit I’ve had balance issues, my solar plexus is tight and I’m having episodes of not feeling like me.
I feel………………not like me anymore. My gift is the best it has ever been. It is really and truly helping people like never before. My body tingles constantly and I’m amorous beyond belief lol if you get my drift. And I’m a Scorpio, I’m ALWAYS amorous lol It is what I rule after all.
But this is different. I feel like my Spirit is off axis since I left Martin in New York and Joanne in Massachusetts.
Like since I left America my compass has been pulled the wrong way but it can’t just be because of me not being there.
One of my students is saying she feels the same.
Is anyone else feeling ‘different’?
It’s not a bad thing. I just am spending huge amounts of time in the future physically now.
I did a session with my Adopted daughter I call Rainbow yesterday and while sitting in my room spent the whole time in a living room I’ve never seen before. I can still describe it in perfect detail.
It had creme coloured curtains and a HUGE window to my left.
Medium coloured stained wooden floors with a rug down covering about 4 quarters of the floor.
Creme coloured sofa (either leather or faux leather) and a really cool looking 1970s style coffee table I was talking to her on.
There was double glass doors in the front of me, and a table and chair with what looked like where Lappy would go, a phone, note pad etc…(like an office type setting up against a wall, not in another room). Kitchen t the left of this table and chair. To the right of the double doors with glass panels and net curtains up, and green and creme curtains open above the door was a book case filled with books and nik naks.
A arm chair was in front of the huge window with a throw over it, and a pot plant in the far right corner.
The bathroom was to my immediate left.
The sun was so strong it was too hot on my back and it was about 11-1pm in the afternoon.
I could hear someone mowing the lawns. It had the lovely smell of summer and cut grass.
I had a light coloured jumper on, not a winter one but a light covering one. I wanted to take it off real bad coz I was getting so hot.
But in real life I had a t shirt on because while Winter I was preparing for a work out after my session. It was cold.
The house looked like it was made up of things given rather than bought for the home but it was tidy and quite big.
It was home, it felt like home.
But who’s?
Now I am having vision issues today. I’m emotional and almost fallen over about 20 times because I keep feeling like gravity is trying to literally escape me lol
Anyone else feel the same?

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Baby Rasta y Gringo: Magnetism and The Cosmological Constant 

Okay so I’ve been working on the theory that music like art and literature, Science and Maths are imperative to inspiration and evolution.
I’m also trying to figure out how to prove and understand why there can’t possibly be A God. A single creator responsible for the creation of everything.
Spirit told me once that to them the word God is a noun and it means ‘To Create’.
So you also know that I’ve been obsessed with music for the last 7 months and it’s helping me work on my Theoretical Physics I like to dabble in.
My gorgeous Fiance Martin told me once that when he was secretly in love with he used to listen to a Duo called Baby Rasta y Gringo.
For those of you who don’t know, my Fiance is Nicaraguan/Puerto Rican. I’m trying to learn Spanish so I can talk to him and his family in their native tongue. But at this point Physics is easier lol

I once tried to decipher the love song he told me to listen to as he used to think about me to it and I thought it was about Devil Worship and human sacrifices because it used words like Sabre, corazon which I know means heart, plasma (which is a component of blood to me lol).
Anyway, for about a year I’ve been shown symbols. All but one I couldn’t figure out until recently.

My ex said he was finding pieces of paper around the house with symbols on them, the same few symbols I said were coming from ‘them up there’ if you know what I mean? nudge nudge wink wink lol
Aaaaaanywho I have been listening to this duo for about a month now about 40 times a day. Don’t know what they’re saying unless I look for translations which I don’t do often but it’s not the translations that helped me finally understand magnetism and the cosmological constant theory I have.

It’s the Spanish. So one thing that used to drive me fuckin batty was how at the end of the songs these Raggaeton artists always announce the name of their production company and producers/collaborators.
Never understood why it felt off balance to me.
See, I understand balance in the Universe better than anyone now. I get it. I TOTALLY know how to be happy and get anything you want from your life and for me MUSIC is a pivotal part of this.
If I could teach you all how, like I am my students, no one would be sad, scared, depressed, worried, afraid about anything and I mean ANYTHING EVER again.

I know I’m going off on tangerines (to quote my 6yr old) but please bear with me. I can only type what I’m told to say and it’s not easy speaking on behalf of Death, The Universe and my own Consciousness at once lol
One of the symbols I kept getting was a jagged M and side ways M or E and a 3.
I always assumed the 3 was because of three being so important to evolution and Spiritual development. My numerology number is 3, my fiances is 6 (coz he is my balance which he shouldn’t be. He’s a Gemini and I’m a Scorpio. We REEEAAAAALLY shouldn’t love each other the way we do but he has been the best thing to happen to me and my last stages of Spiritual development because if how he makes me self correct with brutal honesty).

Personally my numbers are 4 and variables of 4 and 7 but 3s are there too as 3, 5,7,9 are in my personal opinion crucial to the growth and evolution of the Universe and everything that comes before and after it.
All numbers in my head when doubled up become even, which is clean and tidy and balanced, ie 1+1=2, 2+2=4,3+3=6,8,10,12,14,16 (and so on) I know I sound nuts but I can’t stop lol

I cannot abide things like volumes and dials etc…on odd numbers. It causes me physical pain lol I drive people mental with me ‘one more, one more, turn it up or down one more’ moan lol

Balance is crucial to our evolution in this Universe of ours.
In my head music even music I’ve loved for years if I hear it now and it’s not bringing balance to my brian, sounds off, almost painful.
I’m gutted that songs I grew up loving I now can’t stand because when I had that switch in my brian when I figured shit out last January I had to start following my compass to find the balance in everything I did and become.
Because balance and finding balance is sooooo sooo important my babies. I can’t stress to you enough how Spirit this whole time have been trying to teach us how to follow our compass to find balance.
So I totally know I’m sounding a bit autistic but I probably am, lol
But now when I am around anyone or anything that doesn’t bring me balance it becomes painful to tolerate. Almost unbearable even.
I’m a Scorpio, so I can clash with a LOT of people so now add to the mix of what I have become Spiritually and I just can’t be around anyone or anything who doesn’t balance me out. I’m distrusting my nature until I trust you. I will then trust you until I don’t then never trust you again.
When it comes to my work, I trust only my ex and my students because I expect the same loyalty and they give it in spades. After having 29 students I finally found my 8 formal students, but 10 in total (when the ex and Martin have the time to commit to training).
As a Paranormal Scientist I am VERY protective of what goes on in my head lol and my students followed their compass to me as I did to them and being the very first of our kind in the history of man I know you’ll understand why I’m so protective of my work, gift and connection to Spirit. So I have to be brutal with my students and who gets through and who doesn’t. Because we have to have a good symbiotic relationship in order to help each other evolve. I know I’m tough and demanding but my students would expect nothing less of me or themselves.
I simply adore them. My boys, are just the perfect balance to my girls in every way. I asked for the right men and found them in the 4 I have in my life. I’m so blessed, so grateful as well that my girls, every single one of them would slaughter anyone who stood between me and them. As a Scorpio I find that tough, strong, die hard, hardcore loyalty a turn on lol My girls, are Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Balance in every way and then my men are protection and maturity coz us girls are mostly out of control once we get together and start talking in class lol
They are hungry to learn what I teach. I call them my Little Paranerds lol

So here I am trying to make sense of one last symbol which I eventually figured out meant Time and I was seeing Baby Rasta in my head wearing that E M 3 symbol around his neck. Over and over and over again while I listened to a particular band from the 80s who I LOVE now more than I ever did back then and going over and over and over in my brian these symbols and mentally writing it all out on a chalk board in a pub (don’t judge, it’s my journey, my business how I get there lol).
And it dawned on me. The incessant annoyance of repetition which drives me fuckin mental. I can’t stand repetitive behaviour and language and shit.
I like to do, see, hear something once then move on. My pet peeve is having to repeat myself lol it imbalances me so hardcore it makes me shitty having to repeat myself lol
I try so hard not to get shitty with the person who is asking me t repeat myself but I usually end up getting pissed off and making some comment about ‘bloody hell, clean your ears out’ lol (unless they are deaf in which case I’m positively delightful and charming. I’m not a total bitch ya know lol).
So Baby Rasta y Gringo constantly saying ‘Eme music’ at the end of every song was irritating me like you can’t even believe.
As someone who thinks so much it keeps me awake at night and annoys me because just when I figure out hard stuff I then have 20 more questions I ask Spirit which I then can’t rest until I answer them too.
I know I know, I sound nuts but you try being schizophrenic with all these voices trying to figure out life, death and the evolution of Spirit and it’s importance to the growth and development of our Universe and sound normal. lol
So I realized I was being shown in this symbol Baby Rasta wears around his neck etc… E M 3 is 3 of the symbols I was writing down on pieces of paper.
E for pushing our Solar System in or out towards evolution or devolution, M for magnetism but pushing down and up at once (because everything has to have a balance in order to expand and connect and create.) and 3 is the balance or opposite to the E, it pushes back. If you get the balance wrong one way our solar system contracts, get it the right way it expands thus creating the Cosmological Constant.
Ergo magnetism is key to everything organic in the Universe.
Gravity is a form of magnetism, as is time, balance, love, attraction, creation, conception, inspiration, bacteria, growth, the planets, photo synthesis, arousal, viruses, direction, action, honestly I could go on infinitely. You get what I’m saying though right?
It makes sense to me, it must to you too right?
So then I said to Spirit, ‘Okay so Magnetism is the most important thing like ever, but you said everything has a balance so what is the balance to magnetism?’ and they said ‘Death, de-evolving, non existence, cessation’.
Which almost made me orgasm it made so much sense lol At 6.30am I’m hyper because I finally figured it out. It’s been months and months of working on these symbols.

Now I’m pissed off that it was so friggin obvious this whole time and it took for me to have to listen to Baby Rasta y Gringo a billion times to get that which was staring me right in the feckin face lol

My friends up north *nudge nudge wink wink* have the most ingenious way to teach an errant, bossy bitch like me and it’s through music and my excellent imagination lol
This is honestly why I think 99.9% of ‘mental illness’ is undiagnosed Psychic ability and or genius. I do NOT and never will recognize ADHD and Autism and Asperger’s as anything less than unrecognized genius.
Give me a year with these people and you’d see people so smart and happy they’d make Einstein look normal.
My three favourite Scientists, Clarke Maxwell, Tesla, and the sexy Newton are the demigods of Science and all in my opinion if above today would be in one of those categories of disability.
Psychology isn’t a Science. Its conjecture and supposition.
People just need to be allowed to find their balance.

My doing what I’m doing with my music and following my compass is making me and those around me happy because I practice and teach what I preach.
It makes sense when you follow it.
My ex is big into the music compass thing now and he’s figuring shit out too not to mention his connection to Spirit has grown exponentially.

I wish I could teach you how to do it, it’s hard to explain but you do have t be brutally honest with yourself and patient, and have unwavering faith in order for it to work.
But when it does, it changes your life in every way.

I’m sorry if this post sounds a bit ‘tangenty’ My thoughts get the best of me when I type because I talk for Spirit and add some of me in the mix lol
I know a lot of you won’t understand what I’m trying to say, but for those who do understand, for those who ‘get me’ then this post is for you.

The odd thing is, once I have learned everything I need to with the chain of music I follow I walk away from it and never go back to it. If I try to, it ends up grating on me and annoys me after a few notes.
So it imbalances me I guess you can say. Demagnetizes me I guess you could say. But even magnetism is Magnetic lol
And as I just learned, the balance to magnetism is death, cessation.
Which makes perfect sense when you really think about it.
So Thank you Baby Rasta y Gringo and Thank you Martin.
Now I just need to figure out how the Cosmological Constant is proof of no God at which point the hate will come I’m sure lol
What music will it be next time? The Wiggles? or maybe Chopin? lol
Only time will tell, because time is magnetic. Oh the laws of attraction.

Insanity subdued, I’m going to have a work out and then get on with my emails.

I hope this makes sense. I hope to those reading this it’s not like trying to decipher Spanish without a translation dictionary lol

I would like to add though that these are MY theories and no one elses and I do not and never will expect anyone to listen or follow them. This is my journey and I want people to walk beside me not behind me.
I am for those who get me. If you don’t get me that is completely fine.
It just means with me, your compass doesn’t face north and that is totally cool. I want no one to feel pained by the shyte that comes out of my head.
Like a magnet, I stick to those who aren’t my polarity.

Love and Light
Mama Bear
xoxoxo

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