Love: I get it now

John Lennon once sang ‘All you need is love’. And they killed him.
But his message while never forgotten, never reached all the ears that were meant to listen. The biggest lesson Spirit have taught me in the 43 years of my life is ‘If your not doing it for the love, your not doing it for the right reasons.’

People are suffering, suffering for their art, suffering for survival, suffering for their cause.
My ex husband works long hours, grueling hours, on his art because he loves what he does so much, he knows it comes with sacrifices.
I supported him, even when I missed him, because I loved him so much.
I’m not a Super Model, I’ve never been known for my looks but I’ve never been without a boyfriend or partner. I’ve always had a way of knowing what a man wants. (My trouble is I give too much control over to the men I’m with and it drains me of all they loved about me in the first place. Not now)

Whatever he is into, I learn, so we have something to talk about.
All to often in my job I’ve had women coming to me for a reading wanting to know why the men they are with are no longer the men they fell in love with.
And the answer is always the same.
‘You dated a man you thought you could change and you ended up changing so much about him he is no longer recognizable.’
There are so many men and women who crush the Spirit of their partner when they see things in them they don’t like, then no longer recognize the things they saw in them they originally loved in the first place.
That isn’t love.
Love is worth hurting for. Love is with the sacrifices being made to be together.
My ex husband gets up every day to work his ass off so I can stay home and raise our boys. I get to work from home because of him and that is why when I’m in a position to I’m going to retire him and pay for him to just sit and paint.
It is the least I can do for him because he broke himself so I could learn everything I have learned about my gift, Spirit, The Paranormal and now the Universe.

I work pretty much full time, helping where I can but he takes all that pressure off me so I can concentrate on educating and nurturing our boys with the best life we can give them. Because he loves me as the Mother of his children and as his best friend.
The fact our marriage broke down doesn’t mean we then ha to hate each other. Because of the rare nature of who he and I are, we are able to push past the hurt and just love each other as friends, parents to two incredible boys, fellow human doings and Universal beings. That is love.
No lawyers, no hate, no alimony, no visitation orders, just a happier path for us both that run parallel to each other.

He endured 16 years of emotional bullshit, threats and abuse from his own family because he loves me.
He has given up all of his holiday days, sick days, and even lost wages taking unpaid leave to take care of me when I was dealing with all my health issues because he loved me.
People have divorced for less and it’s because none of those couples loved each other.
Not really.
Love is hard to get a hold of but once you have it, and I mean REALLY have it, the hard stuff doesn’t seem so hard.
Some one once said ‘True love is wanting to kill your partner but never going through with it.’ and with the exception of things like adultery, addiction or abusive behavior, most things our partners do to upset us are forgivable and can be worked on.

By abuse I mean, physical, mental, verbal, sexual, financial, etc….
If you have ever been in love, REALLY been in love you’ll know how much it hurts. To know love is to know pain.
But love can save the world. Love can stop wars. Love can change the entire way you see the world, the Universe and the Dead.

The reason why Spirit keep on at us even though we are idiots who run around with cameras flashing in their non existent faces, and putting our hands through their energy is because they love us.
Even though we don’t give ourselves the time to get to know them, even though we might not or mostly don’t have any genetic history with that Spirit (meaning they might not be a family member or ancestor) they still put themselves through exhausting, and often time consuming, contact with us because they love us and want to guide us on our journey to becoming enlightened and happy Souls.

The same goes with our ‘Galactic Family’.
The reason they come to keep an eye over us because we are war mongering idiots who instead of allowing ourselves to educate, protect, nurture, heal and love each other and our beautiful planet we fight and steal, lie and cheat each other out of having Love.
True Love.
Love really does make the world go round.
While Governments are threatening to shoot on sight, terrified refugees who were forced to flea their own countries because of the wars those very countries who want to shoot them created.

Yet among it are these beautiful, truly Spiritual souls who are offering food and sanctuary to these refugees because they understand what it is we are all meant to be. It should be the first reaction we have when we see any living breathing soul in need to want to go to their aid and offering them help, or love.

We allow ourselves to be divided by the colour of our skin, by our religious beliefs, by the uniforms we wear, by the money in our bank accounts and by the soil that lay under our feet at the time of birth.

But the truth is, this is ALL of our planet. No one owns this planet. It wasn’t given to all of us. We were allowed to simple share the same space. It’s on loan to us for a symbiotic relationship.
The fact we need to ask for permission to travel from one bit of dirt to another is a slap in the face of everything we were given this planet for.

It would make no sense or serve no purpose to have all of this staggeringly beautiful Galaxy to have only one planet have life on it who then would have to wait millions of years for us to evolve enough to get off our asses and build a way of getting out into the Universe and explore it.

We drop bombs on each other because some people in a posh office decide the innocent men, women and children on a patch of soil are no longer worthy of standing on it.
We send millions and millions of people out onto the streets, often starving and in need of medical care and mental health protection because they don’t have enough paper in their wallets or digits on their banks computer screen to please a Fat Cat on millions a year in stolen, often illegal but most definitely sinful revenue who has decided you and your family aren’t worthy of life.

The Love of Money is the Root of all Evil. And it is true.
Spirit are like proud parents who want to give their children the best of everything. They WANT us to work hard and make a good living. They want us to be successful and have all the good things in life.
As long as what you do you do for the love of it and as long as no living being be it animal, mineral or vegetable have to suffer or sacrifice themselves for your success them Spirit support you every step of the way.

Yes Spirit have no concept of money nor do they have a need or want for it.
But we have allowed ourselves to be taken in to believing money is everything and it just isn’t.
Love is.
If you don’t love your fellow, if you don’t love this planet, you don’t love yourself.
The wealthy people of this world might like to believe they are envied and are powerful. They might like to believe there are people who want to emulate them and for the most part it is true.
There are plenty of people who want what they have. But what these people seem to forget is, if you remove your skin, we are all the same underneath.
If you remove the paper we are all the same in the cemetery.
However in Spirit the way your treated will be vastly different.

The more you love money, the more Souls who were sacrificed in order to make you wealthy and powerful on earth the worse you’ll be when your Spirit because you had no love for your fellow man.

The people who are sacrificed, their lives, their homes, their health, their livelihoods and often families, because it was the right thing to do according to Universal Law will be the ones who are given the higher place in Spirit than the Donald Trumps of the world.

If you love yourself, you’ll love your fellow man regardless of colour or religion.
A man who wears rags who shares his donated food or dollar with his fellow homeless brothers and sisters has more love and will be in a better position come the New Renaissance And the After Life than the man in the Rolls Royce who thought it was funny claiming ‘Nothing smaller than a hundred’ to the homeless man will.

We must ALL learn to be more Empathic. And not the Empathic that drives me insane lol the ‘Oh I’m so sensitive to Spirit and the energy around me’ bull shit. I mean ‘Empathic’…. As according to the Oxford Dictionary.

Which says: People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’ whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune’. Empathy hurts you to witness as much as the person your witnessing. You suffer the emotional highs and lows with the man or beast. And it can take days even weeks to get over something.

I know I say all the time it is my least favourite gift because I’m constantly in floods of tears for someone or some thing I’ve never met before.
It’s not just negative or unpleasant stuff either because I will cry seeing moments of great joy as well.
Like my favourite YouTube clip of the dog that see’s her Papa for the first time in 2 years having spent the time apart because Papa was in the US Military.
This Dog howls, and screams and cries so much, it’s hysterical out pouring of love almost makes the poor beast pass out.

THAT is Love.

You only get one chance at this life. What you do next, all has an impact on what happens to you when you die.

If your chasing the money to be rich, and not because you enjoy the job. If you buy the house or shoes you can’t afford to be like everyone else.
If you take a life because the person in the shell represented someone or an ideal you found offensive.
If you endure a relationship that is so toxic, negative and or dangerous because they are hot and look good on your arm, or because they are rich and can give you an easier life.
If you destroy or remove someone or some thing from it’s domicile so you can have the land or money from renovating and flipping the house for profit.
If you walk past a homeless person whether they are a drunk or not and you don’t help them.
If you find their presence an inconvenience to you or if you find the homeless animals and humans who eat from the bins in our neighbourhood an embarrassment. Or worse if you’ve ever been abusive, insulting or worse to them because they offended you with their mere existence then you have never known and will never know the true meaning of love.

Love isn’t just about having a partner you have great sex with, or who buys you nice things who makes our friends envious and who can give you a dream wedding.
Abuse love and love will abuse you. That is the balance of the Universe.

Love isn’t about putting yourself and your parents in debt for tens of thousands of dollars/pounds for the perfect wedding and if you had your dream wedding where you got everything you wanted and it cost so much your still paying it off years after you were married then I’m sorry but you didn’t marry for love.

The truth of the matter is, it shouldn’t matter where you marry them. The wedding is supposed to be about the union of two families coming together to celebrate the union between the Bride and Groom, or Bride and Bride or Groom and Groom.

It shouldn’t be about how much they spent on flowers and whether the bride managed to talk her parents into buying her the dress she wanted that was over her budget allowance.

Marriage was originally a business deal between two tribe members as a show of trust and partnership.

Nowadays it’s seem as a show of often non existent wealth and to be frank…………gluttony. You invite people who ordinarily you’d never have a lot to do with outside of family gatherings so you can show off your wealth under the guise of Love.

When in fact what you should be doing is gathering your nearest and dearest to celebrate the union between two people who love each other.

All the money you could save by exchanging vows in a garden and having a BBQ or supper then having a shin dig in a hall somewhere could go on the honeymoon of a life time. Making memories and having experiences to live your entire marriage by would be so much more worth it than wearing a designer gown your never going to wear again and more than likely one day will look back on with hate and regret because you realized you married the wrong person.

Marriage is such a special union very few are mature enough to enter into. Marriage is about going to hell and back with each other for. Making sacrifices for each other. Having each others backs in the good time and the bad. Marriage is about never having to explain yourself because without saying a word your partner understands why you said or did what you said or did. Marriage is the perfect embodiment of what love really is all about if it is shared by two people who understand the true meaning of the word.

I believe in marriage. It is the ultimate commitment two people can make to each other. I believe in love and the power of it which is why I will marry Martin without hesitation. I know on paper we might look insane but there is no denying this connection we have. I just don’t care. I love him and he is the first guy I’ve ever been with who knows what he wants from me and us. It’s so nice not having to convince someone I’m worthy of being loved because he is the one who chased me and convinced me I should love him.

It changes you, Love. It makes everything better.

It’s about being there without being asked to be there whether it is being there for your spouse, or a stranger.

We are living in countries where our leaders are systematically slaughtering human and animal beings because of oil, money and power in the exact same ways the Jews were persecuted in WW2 yet no one is stopping it.

What we are allowing to happen to the poor Syrians in Europe is exactly what happened to the Jews. Yet it seems to be for the most part acceptable. Why is that?

Are people so insular now they  refusing to see we are walking right into? another World War? Our Governments would have you believe that Muslims are bad people just like how Germans were told that Jews were bad people not worthy of life. But what people forget it it’s not just Muslims who’s lives get affected by a war. This is NOT YOUR country. It is NOT yours or your Governments planet. It is OUR country and OUR planet. You do not own the soil under our feet and yet your happy to pay over half your wages to own some of it that at any moment the bank could refuse you the ownership of.

We created ALL things equal. So why the hell are we allowing our brothers and sisters, our animals and trees, our lands and our oceans to be treated as though they belong to anyone other than all of us?

If you’ve ever said ‘These fuckin immigrants come here and take our jobs and buy our houses making everything too expensive for us to live in our own country’ then your an idiot. I’m sorry. But there is NOT one piece of land on this planet that wasn’t settled by immigrants.

We all came from Africa. Our African Grandparents traveled from Africa, up through Europe and across the oceans to find a home for themselves. There is no one on this planet that is 100% of anything other than Human. Yet we are prepared to in debt ourselves and fight for a bit of soil that belongs to all of us.

Is that what you think your God wants? Is that Love? Love for your fellow man? Love for your Country? Love for your Planetf

NO MAN IS BETTER THAN THE NEXT WE ARE ALL EQUAL.

Equality creates balance. Our Universe, our Spiritual format, is ALL running in perfect order when we have balance.

Our Solar System reacts so much better when everything is in balance.

Regardless of whether your God is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Jedi, Alien, A Tree or an Animal. It’s all the same to the person who believes.

Love keeps the Universe in balance. It’s a fact.

We are ALL connected whether your an Ape on this planet, a bacteria on the Moon, a being from another Galaxy, or a planet in our Galactic sky. The comets, animals, plants, water, insects. dirt, bacteria, trees, etc… the meteors, planets, beings, space dust, black holes, milky ways, in this Universe and the others, are ALL connected. We all were born from the one original source of life.

What we do to ourselves we do to them. What we destroy they suffer with, what we create they enjoy, what we invent they receive the benefits from and what we love creates a balance and calm they are attracted to.

They are NOT a threat or a danger to us regardless of what they might start saying. Project Blue Beam has been in the works for a long time and to prove I’m right I suggest for the next 8 weeks you watch the news articles going up on the Yahoo news website.

I’ve noticed that every day for the last 2 weeks the news is about the discovery of or existence of ‘Alien life’. And that is the basis or foundation for the start of Project Blue Beam. I know it sounds insane but it is true. I suggest you Google it.

What we have been fed about our ‘Intergalactic Brethren’ is all founded on stories, wild imagination and very carefully planned out plots and role playing games to fool the masses into believing that what is out there wants to hurt us and experiment on us sexually and mentally. Which is typical of us to make everything about sex and power.

But as with Spirit, they aren’t interested in us sexually. In no way shape or form. We are the only beings who have sex for pleasure. And sex does NOT mean love.

But I digress. I could talk for days about this stuff but I’m going off on a tangent.

The reason why our galactic brethren help us.  They have stopped missiles from being set off on ‘the enemy’ is because they love.

We are compared to Spirit and them, the Babies of the Galaxy. They are trying to help us reach the level of Love and Understanding we need to get our shit together to join them up there. So that we too can Play among the stars.

But we will never be allowed to go near Space in it’s true glory until we can learn to love each other.

They are our Ancient ancestors and the only ones of us who seem to truly understand that they are our Ancestors are the First Nations and other Indigenous peoples such as the Aboriginals and Maori. But none more so than the First Nation people.

This is why they don’t come down to speak to our Military leaders and Presidents. The first thing they would do is kill them, the second would be to steal their technology.

So they are waiting until we ALL get off our backsides and create Balance.

Don’t do it if it isn’t for love. When you do it for love your doing it for the entire greater good of your Spirit, your Ancestors and your Galaxy.

Any less of a reason isn’t good enough and you’ll never evolve while your doing it for any reason other than love.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is leave that job you hate. Leave that partner your not happy with. Leave those possessions your in debt up to your eye balls for and the house your never truly going to own until the day you make your last payment for in about 30 years time and go out into the world and find your true love.

I’m not just talking about ‘Partner’. Find the job you love, find the person you love, find the culture you love, eating the food you love, embracing all the aspects that come with having that love and watch how rich you become after it.

Then when you are rich of heart you will be rich in life and there is nothing more rewarding I can promise you than waking up next to the one you love in a job you love with a life you love.

Sure some days you might not have two pennies to rub together but if your belly is full and your warm and healthy who cares. As long as your living an honest life, where your honoring yourself. You deserve to have the best of everything if your prepared to work hard enough to seek it out. Nothing is stopping you but you.

Whether it is with millions in the bank or not. If you can write the chapters of your story where the experiences you have create the content where the laws of the Universe aren’t broken then live life each day like you’ve never seen it before. So much awaits us when you go looking for love.

Life is an adventure from the second your born.

Go out there and tell your story. Write each chapter as though it is your last and fill it with memories of all the things you got to love along the way.

Just make a promise to yourself to learn the difference between Love and Sexual Attraction, Education and Learning, Honor and Duty, Balance and Order. Life and Living, because only one of those in each selection is what’s wanted for us.

Love is the reason we exist. If our Galactic brothers and sisters were that dangerous they would of cleaned our clock a long time again. The fact they haven’t speaks volumes.

Spirit are the same. They could of gone about their business and left us to deal with death and Spiritual understanding on our own but they all help us because they want us to know the true meaning of the word Love.

Do what you do for the right reasons, and you’ll live thee most rewarding life you could ever imagine. When you have that confidence to love all things openly, nothing is more attractive. And nothing is more attracting. Like attracts like. It’s Universally understood. Like attracts like. And for me there is nothing hotter than a guy who knows what he wants and stops at nothing to get it. For love. I just found that in Martin and man…………..how hot is that? It has taken all the pressure off me lol

I spent 20 years working on myself. Writing my chapters. Finding balance and now as I come to the end of my time as a Student. As I prepare for graduation and life with whatever Spirit have in store for me I do so with excitement and confidence. Because even when it’s been hard, I’ve hurt and suffered and been betrayed, disrespected, used and abused and I’ve wanted to walk away, call it quits, start again and forget about it, I get up every morning to the greatest love I ever want to know beside me.

My boys, they are the greatest loves in my life. They helped me nurture and repair, in a life that I love, helping the people I love through a gift that I love. Sure…..I’m mostly broke, and my clothes are falling off me lol (because I’ve lost so much weight) but my life is an adventure from the second I open my eyes. My journey as a Spiritual person of the purest form of Love and Light enables me to have adventures beyond space and time, in and around our planet and universe, because everything I do, and everyone I do it for, I do for the love of my boys. I couldn’t breathe without them. Even on the days when a crack addiction seems more appealing than dealing with their carnage. lol

Love………….is Universal. It creates and nurtures, it heals and mends, it inspires and develops, it builds and protects, it transforms and transcends, it balances and bends, it feeds and nourishes. It turns dark into light and light to dark. It opens up not just the world around you but the Universe as well. It makes grown people drive themselves insane with the need for it. The lust that comes with getting to get down and dirty with that one guy you KNOW is gonna hit all the right spots every time because he loves you THAT much you crave them.

Like……..you know when your skin hurts you need them so bad? You can’t sit still. You can’t stop thinking about them and then get pissed off when you have to stop thinking about them to think about stuff like ‘work’ lol

When you hear his voice and you turn to jelly. When you try to be all tough but he makes you weak with a purr of his voice. When you run to him for comfort without question and he knows just what to say.

When he tells you your the most beautiful women he has ever seen on your period days lol *stupid boy* lol Blob he makes me fuckin brianless (yes brianless).
You know that distracting kind of love? Where you walk into walls and shit.

I wish I could show you. I wish I could show you. Then you wouldn’t be so afraid to live your life as you.

Go out there and love. I promise you John Lennon was right.

Love……..is all you need.

To My Boys, My Family and Friends, My Students, I can’t express to you enough how blessed I am to have you all in my life.

I love you all more than you will ever know. My life is rich because I have you in my life. You make my life rich and rewarding and you put up with me regardless of the fact I’m often throwing some of the most bizarre situations your way expecting you to have answers for me to help me understand what’s happening. I trust you with my life and most importantly I trust you with my gift.

You see the side to me I don’t share with anyone else because no one understands my gift the way you do. You never judge me. You often spend days pondering things I’ve told you in order to help me understand what’s happening to me and you have never once doubted me.

Your the only people who know the things about my gift I dare not share with anyone. Things I would take to my grave. The stuff people just aren’t ready to hear or know about. You have patience with me and you never make me explain myself. Your the first people I go to when something new happens and the first two I go to when I need advice, help or just to talk. My life wouldn’t be half of what it is without you in my life and I just want to thank you for loving me the way you do.

I am rich because your my reward for everything I do along with my sons.

Everything I do, I do because I am loved by you and everything I am, I am because of you. I wouldn’t be what I am today without you in my life. Separately and together you give my life joy and balance.

I am the Master of my Universe and you are my Planets, Black Holes, Milky Ways and Stars.

I love you and Thank you.

xoxoxox

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My Detox from Death

I’m kind of reluctant to write this post because I’m scared people are going to copy me and end up in hospital.

So you all know I’ve been battling with health issues for the last 5 years. I had meshes put in three times and my body has been rejecting them. I’ve developed a bacteria in my gut which makes me violently ill, gives me fevers and indescribable pain.

Because of this bacteria I have a higher chance of getting stomach cancer and when I’m not vomiting everything I eat, I’m doubled over in pain. I’ve almost lost my life twice because of it and at one point my body was so run down my body contracted Chicken Pox while in hospital and my immune system was cream crackered. I had to go on Immune Boosters for 12 weeks and it was the only thing that gave me strength to go on.

I was put in a High Dependency Unit and put into Quarantine. The only people allowed into the room were the people treating me and two nurses and cleaners who took shifts. People were coming and steering into the window to get a look at the freak in the cordoned off room. I cried for days and it was a most humbling experience.

But while I was in there I got a wee visit from a Spirit nurse. She walked up to my bed in full 3D manifestation and said to me ‘Mrs Black? Good news, next year will be your year so just hang in there a little bit longer, we’re gonna get you out of this’.

Almost 12 months to the day, they did indeed ‘get me out of it’ and I’m going to tell you how. But before I do I’m going to put up a disclaimer.

I will not be held responsible for anyone who copies me and gets ill because if it. What I am doing is on the advice of my Spirits. The best Doctors in the world because I couldn’t rely on the NHS to do their job and fix me.

Every 8-10 weeks I had these bouts that used to put me in hospital for dehydration, pain, and fever. I had an infected seroma that would flare up and give me raging infections. My sister Mihi, who in my opinion is the foremost expert on all things natural and herbal told me about CDS, or Chloride Dioxide Solution.

I did some research and found a supplier in Australia. The Government are trying to ban it saying it is a poison but the Lancet Medical Journal are calling it the ‘Medical find of the Century’. It is curing all sorts of diseases by kind of making you purge from your body all heavy metals and toxins from your system on a molecular level. The trouble I had was that the antibiotics I was being put on, cleared the infection on top of the mesh but not between the meshes. They are microscopic and nothing was getting it inside the mesh.

I took the CDS for 2 weeks. Just a glass in the morning and it was disgusting. It smelt like  swimming pool and actually had no real taste. If you could get past the smell it wasn’t that bad. You only put 7 drops in the water. It stunk to high heaven but it did the trick.

I spent 2 weeks with gut wrenching diarrhea. I mean….I was never off the bowl. But I haven’t had an infection in 2 years now. No Fevers either.

But I still had the guts ache, severe pain, vomiting that would keep me awake all night and dizzying nausea. I’d be kept awake for weeks at a time with excruciating pain and every 4 weeks or so I’d not be able to get out of bed.

One of the biggest illnesses you get with these meshes is a condition called Fibro Mylagia. It is a painful auto immune condition that makes you thoroughly exhausted. Your joints get inflamed and sore and you get something called ‘Restless legs syndrome’ where you can’t keep our legs and feet still. Your constantly feeling the need to move them and it doesn’t matter if your sitting, laying or reclining. I always know when I’m going to have a Fibro attack because 2 weeks before I get a sore neck, jaw, nape, shoulders.

Not just achy sore, it’s literally sore to touch. It feels like your bruised and any slight touch makes it really painful. Even water from the shower on my skin can hurt.

All I want to do is sleep. I can’t eat, I ache all over and many many times I have had to run my home from my bed. My poor babies being sent downstairs to get me bottles of water and having adventures without me. In fact they were so used to me being stuck at home in bed they used to get disappointed if I came with them because they knew it meant we wouldn’t be doing anything fun because I could only walk so far before being in pain.

I was miserable. I just wanted my life back. I ballooned to 360lbs or 25.7 stone. A size 28-30 in clothes because while I wasn’t eating a lot of food, what I was eating wasn’t healthy because it was quick foods, loaded with sugar, fat and carbs. And because I wasn’t exercising I wasn’t burning any of it off.

I told you 6 months ago I had a visit from the Council. They told me I would be needed to work more. That more people would start needing my help and I needed to be prepared. They also said I was coming to the end of my training. My time as a student was coming to an end and when that happens it means you begin a public career.

I told them that was ‘fine as long as they helped me get better and looking a little more presentable. I didn’t want to be out in public looking like someone had inflated me through a valve near my bum lol They said they would be in touch and when they were ready I was to follow their every instruction. And this is the part I take no responsibility for should you follow my diet.

So 4 months ago they came to me with a list of things I was to buy and a list of instructions and guidelines I was not to deviate from.

I was to limit my diet to no more than 800-1000 calories. I was to eliminate white flour, and cows milk from my diet. Cheese was fine as long as it was as low fat as possible.

I could eat as much fruit and meat as I wanted to but seeing as I only eat chicken and the occasional piece of fish it wasn’t really an issue for me.

I was to eliminate sugar completely. No sugar was to be eaten or added to my food. I could only get my sugar from natural sources. Like fruit, raisins and other dehydrated fruits.

I started the no sugar diet first, thinking it would be the hardest to kick and in terms of the effects it had on my body I’d say it was the one thing my body kicked up a fuss about. After 4 days of no sugar, I started to get headaches and while I’ve never had any cravings for the sugar I found myself feeling the need to snack more. In which case I ate Brazil nuts, walnuts and popcorn (cooked by me in a pot with coconut oil)

I didn’t miss sugar or crave it. In fact within 5 days of having no sugar I found I began to sleep better, my skin was looking clear, no redness or puffiness on my face.

I started to drink Sparkling Mineral Water too and for some reason my brain really enjoys it because it tastes sweet. Like Fizzy Pop but it’s just water. I don’t know if the Carbonated part of it tricks my brain into thinking it’s pop but my ex husband and sons now drink it. I sometimes put fresh fruit juice in it so they think they’re having Fizzy Pop lol

After week 2 I felt feckin fantastic. I had so much energy I was exhausting my husband and sons out from all the walking I was doing.

I lost 14lbs in a week.

Then after week two they bought in the diet part.

I also started taking B12 vitamins and within 4 days got the feeling back in my feet and fingers again after 3 years of not feeling them. It really was a miracle. The voices in my head were starting to cure me of things hundreds of Doctors, Surgeons and Specialist didn’t have a clue over.

They would of wasted 10s of thousands if tax payer dollars on not fixing me. They all had an idea of what it could be. And I was misdiagnosed 3 times with Diabetes (which almost killed me while I was pregnant with Train), IBS and Tumors.

So the diet became this.

No more than 800-1000 calories a day.

No butter, no marg. I can only eat low fat, zero sugar olive spread. Which is fine. I like it. My cheese is 50-70% fat free, my cottage cheese is fat free, I even have cheese spread which is fat free. It’s great on my Sesame Seed Ryvita crackers I have for lunch or a snack.

My bread is wholemeal, or Granary. It isn’t big slices but if I have cheese spread and cheese on it for breakfast it’s really very filling. No white flour what so ever.

I was to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner only if I felt hungry.

Some days I skip breakfast but I’ll have a coffee with coconut milk in it and maybe an apple and pear around 10-11am. Coconut milk is what I use for everything I consume. Apart from mash potato but I don’t eat it very often.

For lunch I can have a sandwich with say lettuce, cottage cheese, tomatoe and vegemite for example. Or if I have some left over chicken from dinner I’ll have chicken, cheese and zero fat mayo.

Then dinner. Which is whatever the family eat but if they have pasta or spaghetti or rice I eat wholemeal pasta, brown or basmati rice. My salt, soy sauce and gravy’s are low salt, low sugar. I had some tomatoe sauce the other day that wasn’t low sugar and salt and it was disgusting. I couldn’t eat it if it was on my food.

My taste buds have changed so much. Sugar coats your tongue with a slime that goes away after about 2 weeks and I promise you your taste buds will thank you for eliminating sugar.

Everything you eat tastes soooo much better. A bite of a home made burger or pizza is incredible. In one bite you taste every flavour. Your taste buds single them out one by one and you enjoy every flavour one by one. It has made me want to experiment with my cooking just because I want to see what certain things taste like. Those Quorn burger patties are heavenly in a burger.

Homemade Southern Fried Chicken is next. My Chicken Goujons are to die for.

I’m only allowed to eat if I’m hungry and if I’m peckish I’m only allowed my dried fruit, fruit, nuts and popcorn. I also have ‘Salt your own’ crisps too which are low salt, zero sugar and low fat.

If I have bread for toast I won’t have any more bread for the day. Basically though I eat what I’m told to when I’m told to.

I have a stack of brazil nuts, walnuts, peanuts, cashews, almonds, dehydrated fruit like raisins, cranberries, blueberries, mango, guava, etc….

All my food is grilled, oven baked or cooked in coconut oil. I have found that in doing my Detox from Death with nuts as my source of snackage and cooking my memory has started to return and I’m remembering the names of people and places I had forgotten for decades. Like High School teachers and birthdays etc….

Also the other thing I do is when I wake up before having anything to eat and drink I have a glass of apple cider vinegar. About 4 caps full in a half a glass of water.

My nails and hair are looking shiny and gorgeous, my skin is clear, not puffy, or red any more. It’s taut and smooth. I’ve always been blessed with good skin but now my skin is like it was when I was 17.

I’m full of energy again, my ex husband hasn’t had to take one day off this year for my illnesses. This is coming from a man who lost all of his holiday and sick days for 5 years because of me. He even had to take unpaid leave to help me never once complaining.

Before, everything I did was from bed.  All my house work was done bit by bit leaving the big things like hoovering to my husband who was already working 2 jobs as it was.

Now my house is always spotless because I have the energy to do it all myself.

I am sleeping so much better now. I used to get woken up constantly with pain, of feeling the need to vomit, or the other end sometimes 5-6-7 times a night. I was so inflamed in my gut and organs they would glow in the CT Scans. All my organs were twice the size, engorged from the inflammation.

I used to feel my blood coursing through my veins. Like a torrential river. It burned so much.

In 4 months I have stopped vomiting. Stopped with the gut wrenching excruciating pain that made me feel like I was being stabbed. My guts would make these horrible sounds which always led to me being in agony within a day or two.

In four months, I have lost nearly 60 pounds. Weight loss is a part of Fibro Myalgia but I had nearly 14 stone to lose.

I have gone from a size 28-30 to 14 which means I’m smaller than my pre pregnancy weight. I keep buying clothes in a 22 for some stupid reason and I’ve really had to force myself to buy smaller.

I’m never hungry. Some days all I’ll have is Ryvita crackers with Cottage cheese and some fruit and I’m happy as a lamb.

I’m eating so healthy now that yesterday I stupidly had a piece of Domino’s BBQ chicken pizza and woke up this morning with sore joints and hay fever like symptoms so needless to say I won’t be doing that again.

I have no digestive discomfort. No nausea, I’ve stopped taking ALL of my medication. Oxynorm, Oxicontin, Amytrip, Oramorph, Prochloperazine, ALL gone overnight.

Just my weed, my vitamins and supplements and my protein shakes.

Unfortunately I do still get pain of the ripping tearing adhesion type but once I can manage that I will be in perfect health.

My blood pressure has returned to normal, my hands and feet are no longer swollen and I’m not retaining fluid and get this. I done ZERO exercise for the first 9 months. Apart from walking on the weekends or occasionally as a family we walk to the shop.

Now I walk around 5 miles a day and more on weekends. I work out every day and exercycle every day too and I love every minute of it. I find myself getting annoyed if I can’t exercise.

After 4 months I could no longer stomach the smell of sweeties and I’m am only supposed to be on this Detox of Death for 3 months but I’m enjoying it so much I won’t ever stop. I was on the strict diet for 3 months and then went to the full fat dairy again.

I’ve been testing myself on foods to see if I react to it in any way and so far it seems to be white flour and sugar that are doing the most damage. So I’m avoiding it.

Not once have I had a craving for anything sweet. I miss nothing apart from Ice Cream BUT Iceland’s and Tesco sell this sugar free ice cream that is supposed to taste gorgeous so I’m going to try that.

If I want something sweet at any point I’m only allowed Dark Chocolate with the highest percentage of cocoa in it as possible.

It is incredibly healthy for you and is linked to some incredible medical benefits. Diet sweets or diabetic sweets often have Aspartame or other artificial sweetener in it so I would avoid that shit like the plague. But it has been about 9 months now since I had any type of chocolate. Sugar hurts my guts now. I’m up all night so I’ll never consume it again.

I feel 22 again. I feel so good and my ex husband has been so impressed with what it has done to me. He said I’m the me I was when we were dating.

They seem to know what you can and can’t eat better than even you do. They set my meal plan for the day when I get up so I know what I’m eating.

I actually look forward to eating now and enjoy every bite. I stop when I feel full, even if it’s half a plate. But I can’t stomach as much as I used to. I don’t have to eat more than my 800-1000 calorie allowance. But I can’t go over.

I’ve only been over once and that was last night when I ate the pizza slice and boy did I pay for it.

I keep a journal so I can document all the foods that I’ve noticed a difference with. Bananas have been a bit of a surprise to me. I NEED them. I put them in my protein shakes

I’m so grateful to Spirit. They have saved my life. I’ve never felt this good. And I get to go clothes shopping again. I am starting to dress nice again as opposed to looking 9 months pregnant. And you want to see my new shoes I’ve been buying. Nothing over £20 but I am actually wanting to take pride in my appearance again.

But remember I said Spirit said I was coming to an end of my time as a student? It seems the last lesson is all about me. Working on me and ironing out the last chinks in my armor so to speak.

I’ve unloaded a lot of dead weight in my time on this last lesson.

Letting go of people, thoughts, fears and issues that were holding me back as been so liberating.

I call it the Detox from Death because it was Death (aka Spirit) who put me on the Detox lol they created the meals and menus for me. They tell me what to eat and when. They tell me how to cook it and how to prepare it.

So if you try this detox please don’t hold me responsible if you collapse or get ill. I know my body inside and out and I know Spirit.

This detox won’t work if your not able to talk to Spirit because they give you the recipes and food ideas. They tell you which cereal to buy and which prunes to buy (I put them in my Bran Cereal for flavour because I can’t put sugar in it) sometimes I put in fresh berries or raisins, just like a tablespoon.

I’m eating a lot of brown lol but ya know what? this has been the easiest diet I’ve ever been on. It hasn’t been hard one bit. Not once have I felt like going back to my normal diet. I’m always full and I’ve never felt so alive and when I reach my target weight I promise you I’m going to post a before and after photo.

Oh and one more thing. You HAVE to try fresh percolated coffee with Alpro Coconut Milk. You will never drink normal coffee again. My ex is so impressed he is doing my Detox too. Basically my body is getting not starved but deprived of certain things to kick start itself into normality again and it has worked.

I haven’t been to the Doctor once.

And my gift has grown at an exponential rate.

And I’m so unbelievably happy.

More to be updated with pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Spirit was falling while awake?????

Last night falling through the air landing on my bed with a thud. I fell about a meter.
But I know what your gonna say. I was asleep and must of been astral traveling.
However I was on top of the covers not under them.
The duvet was tightly flat under me as if I was jumping onto a freshly made bed.
I’d been in bed watching tv. Totally conscious of the fact I was watching tv. Did I doze off? Maybe but it can’t of been for more than a second because my program hadn’t changed its scene.
But how did I go from sitting up in bed to falling through the air flat like I was laying down?
Now….okay so it must have been my Spirit right?
So how did I go from being under the covers up to my chest with my head on the pillows.
To on top of the bed with my head on the pillows with the duvet under me?
I slammed down and I can still feel my body as it hit the bed with a bounce.
With the sound of my body crumpling against the fresh duvet linen as though it just happened.
The thing is…….something wasn’t right about last night.
I had been experiencing odd things all night.
It felt odd. Almost electric. It’s why I was up late.
I felt like I was waiting for something to happen.
And it hasn’t gone away. Except now my ex husband said it too. Tonight.
And the streets of Wakefield and Leeds were deserted.
It was spooky. Like a Ghost town but cities. Deserted cities.
No cars parked down streets or in places like Burger King and the Eco Garage/Greggs/Subway store.
Nothing. Not a car, not a person, nothing.
I know one has nothing to do with the other but I had to mention it.
I couldn’t find the moon the other day.
It’s not a good sign.
I know it has nothing to do with my falling incident but I just thought while I’m on the topic of things that are weird lol

So I’ve lost it then huh? I’ve finally gone mad lol
How can you even begin to decipher that one? It defies logic lol
It defies physics.
*sigh* my gift is never dull I’ll tell you that much lol

 

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