Don’t Live Regretting Everything, Die Regretting Nothing. *a message from the dying and dead*

In my many years of seeing and speaking with the dead I have asked them probably over 20,000 questions lol I wanted to know how to make the most of my time here. How to embrace the world and my gift. How to be true to myself without hurting those around me and even more complex questions involving physics and Extra Terrestrial based lessons and just a bouquet of wonderful, enlightening conversations over the span of 43 years.

But the one conversation I had with them that has stuck out most of all was regarding there own deaths.

When I asked them what they thought about in the days, minutes, seconds before they take their last breathe as that person on this world for all time, they all said, every single one of them said and I am allowed to directly Quote this too ‘I had too many regrets’.

They all said and say ‘Don’t live your death regretting never lived’ Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Life is the rich tapestry you get to create so don’t make it boring’.

I got permission to speak about this but I won’t mention his name though. But 6 months ago a man in his 60’s came to me and said he would like a reading.’Β  He is one of only a handful of clients I have read for who taught me more than I could ever have taught them and will inspire me for the rest of my natural life. All because he had faith in Spirit and I.

In doing his reading he realized he had found the answer he had longed for, longed to hear for over 27 years.

This man had done everything right. He studied hard, went to College (Uni) got his engineering degree, got a wife and had a house and kids and he retired.

Quite a few years before he was due to retire he lost his beautiful wife. He raised his then Early teen kids by himself and never remarried.

He had a mortgage and made himself a nice living. He could afford a luxurious lifestyle because of his businesses and he paid taxes and sent his kids to college and had them home for Xmas etc…saw them off into their careers and so on and he was miserable in his soul. He loved his life and he loved his family but he had something hidden deep inside him that he could shake and for 27 years he fought it. As he sat in his log cabin out in the Wilderness he longed and dreamed and grieved for this thing he always wanted to do and never had the guts to do it.

All this man wanted to do was see his country and write a book. He longed for that Great American adventure and was so afraid of doing it, it was making him sick.

He went to over 40 Psychics and Mediums who all told him to enjoy the rest of his life at a safe distance. To sit on his money and spread the wealth and be charitable at home because it was safer. I was the only one who told him to do it. Why? Because of what his wife and every other Spirit I asked have been saying to me for years. Which is ‘Do it, don’t live with regrets. make memories now while your alive. When you die you have nothing BUT memories so make them good ones. Don’t waste your life doing what you THINK you should be doing but what you know you should be doing. Open that business you always wanted open. Doing something you love. Getting to make a living out of it is so much more rewarding than working hard to make a fortune. Dreams are easier to make than money and more rewarding when you have them in your hand. Kiss that girl you fancy at school, write a book, publish it yourself and leave them in charity shops. It doesn’t matter if no one publishes it for you, do it yourself. It doesn’t matter if you give them away or sell them on Amazon Kindle. Write the book. Record that album, travel, take classes. Then you can say you did it. Who said ‘It is better to try and fail than never to try at all?’ One regret you’ll never have when you die. When your dead and buried and your stuff is being fought over or sold, it’s not your things people will remember but you. The memory of you. So how do you want people to remember you? The horrible way you died? The sad way you lived? The work you always did? Never being brave enough to step outside the door? Or do you want to be remembered for something else? You get to make a memory for your family now while your living NOW. So make an adventure of your life and write the book as you go. Tell your story now while your still living. An Auto Biography not a Biography. I told him to do it because he never has to worry about getting a meal, he has the money to never go hungry or be cold. His car can be fixed or sold to buy a new one without it costing him money he could never afford. He had that advantage. Even though he would have many nights under the stairs in the flat bed of his truck and he would work to pay for his meal for the reward of knowing kindness and that sort of charity I think Americans should be proud of. No one does ‘Community Spirit like Americans.’ They know the meaning of the word Charity, Kindness and true Spiritual worth. He would see it, know it, be moved by it and in his leaving one small town for the next he plans on giving money away to causes he meets along the way.

Well I got an email 4 weeks ago to say he had put his stuff in storage and sold his house on the beach and his apartment in the city, he’s kept the Cabin because he wants to die there in about 60 years because he was off in the truck and were off having the start of the Great American adventure.

I made him promise to keep in touch with me. He has stepped over that hurdle and conquered his fear of losing control of his life. The energy I got from his last email fed me for 3 days in energy. He was a blessing and an honour to meet and get to know and I know that man, when his time is up, will slip away at Peace with the world and at Peace with his life.

Close your eyes and imagine your dying. Your laying in your bed looking back on your life and what you enjoyed and didn’t. What you learned, who you loved and who loved you back etc…..what are your regrets?

Well I’ve decided I will no longer live with regrets. I’m going to complete as many things on my Bucket List as I can before I pop my clogs. It started with me making apologizes to people I know I’ve hurt in the past. Mostly those fights you have with loved ones and you said things you wished you’d never said type stuff.

I’ve also decided to try more foods. Stop being afraid to try new flavours. The world is a plethora of cultures and dishes out there at our disposal and I only ever eat the chicken. Now I will only ever eat just chicken, I haven’t eaten Beef or Sheep in 17 years. I stopped liking the taste of it and now it just tastes gross. But I eat enough chicken to not require B12 injections lol and it’s hard for me because I’m allergic to egg and can’t stand mushrooms and they are staple foods for vegetarians lol Chicken, vege, pasta etc….come in many forms and I’m gonna try them all.

But I want to talk to you all because so many of you come to me with dreams and being too afraid to fulfill them.

My dear client I will call Jack said to me before he set off on his journey ‘I need to Thank you Debbie, you have me so much and I feel like a teenager again. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and I have you to Thank’. I said to him ‘Jack, don’t Thank me, the reason you saw 40 Psychics and stopped with me, isn’t because I’m better, it is because I gave you the right answer and you would of kept going until you found one who said Yes, so it’s nothing to do with me, I’m just the lucky one who got to say it and see you do it.’

I want to tell you some of the things our loved ones have been telling me about their regrets upon their dying moments.

The most common regret is without a doubt ‘I wish I had kids’ is the most common thing I hear. So many people realized their legacy stops with them. They went and made money and saw the world and now there is no one to mourn them in that special way.

The next most common thing I hear is ‘I should of never worked so much. I thought I was making a good life for my family so I could enjoy them later but when later came I realized I’d missed out on so much my kids hardly knew me and I hardly knew them. One Spirit said to me ‘I made over a 80 million dollars for my company and yet I never knew my daughters best friends name or what my Son’s favourite sport was and when I died they had nothing to share at my Eulogy so my Personal Assistant did it. I missed every single Anniversary and Birthday and I hated myself for it. I kept telling myself ‘when you retire you can make up for it all’. ‘Then I die from working myself to death and never got to make it up to my family. I am still counting the regrets and I’ve been dead how long? (2 years was the answer).

The next most common thing is ‘I should of said I’m sorry to (………….).

Then it would be ‘I wish I’d written that book or opened a business’. So many people wish to start business and were too afraid in case it didn’t work and they lose a steady job. So what………ya know? If you have a dream to have a wee book store or bakery or Dog Groomer or whatever it is. Big or Small. Do it. Then you have no regrets when you die. You’ll always know fail or succeed… tried. And my Mother always said ‘God loves a trier’.

One lady said to me ‘I was married 62 years to the love of my life. And 2 weeks before we married I had the chance to have a one night stand with the most Beautiful American Soldier I had ever seen. His skin was like hot chocolate and he was an Angel to look at. He made my eyes adore him lustfully and I never did it. My husband was the love of my life and every day with him as my best friend and lover was a gift from God. But I never knew what it was like to know lust. Passion. That rip your clothes off, rush of hormones, throw you on the floor ravage you unbridled passion. My husband was an incredible man and a wonderful Father and Grand Father and I regret nothing to do with him. But I regret everything to do with this Tall Drink of Chocolate and if I could go back in time I would of drank him long and slow, taking in every tasty morsel. lol True Story lol

Don’t be afraid of the things you want to do. If it brings you joy even for a moment, the memory of that joy will last beyond your life time Β and then it is worth it. Don’t let your last thought be ‘If only’ but instead make it ‘Remember when’.

I intend on remembering decades full. Starting from 15 years ago.

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33 thoughts on “Don’t Live Regretting Everything, Die Regretting Nothing. *a message from the dying and dead*

  1. Wow! Amazing post as ever! I would have to the closest to a regret I have is the fact that I wasn’t able to dedicate myself more to school right after high school because I had to work so I’ve been going part time for the last 10 years. But if I did that I wouldn’t have this amazing little girl. Everything really does happen for a reason and she is my reason for living. I don’t regret not being the person my daughter’s father wanted me to be… If I did conform I wouldn’t have stayed true to myself and that is more important than keeping someone around who is no longer right for you. Awesome post as always!

    • Well then you can rest in the knowledge that your legacy to your daughter is ‘I regret nothing in having you when I did because you made my life richer for it’. Regrets are the things that eat at you when your not looking and hurt when you are.
      I’ve had my Tall Drink of Chocolate, have written a few children’s stories but just for my sons when they were small. But I’d like to sing on a big stage, swim with dolphins and go in a shark cage. I want to drive in the Nuremberg Ring and see Salem, Boston, and a hundred other places. I want to travel around in a camper van helping those I find along the way. If I ever won or had like millions and millions I’d put my stuff in storage and travel in a Camper van handing out money to people who needed it. The list goes on. lol But I will work hard to achieve them.
      Thank you for your support as always Sweetheart
      Love and Light

      • Absolutely!!! I would never regret anything about her…. She was the best surprise I have ever been given. I know she chose me too which makes it even better. This amazing bright full of happiness, big sense of humor and beautiful personality soul chose me to be her mom. πŸ’—

  2. Thanks for sharing! Good lesson in life. Must make sure i create more ‘Remember when’ moments!
    I hope you get time to share more of spirits messages/conversations with us.
    And what are these extra terrestrial lessons? Another day another blog?

  3. You sort if hit home with me. Much of my life I’ve lived with regret for various reasons. Well has long as I’m breathing it’s not to late to begin to make those changes in my own life. To laugh more, help more, give when I can, most of all I’m going to start taking care of me so I can attack my bucket list.

    • Yaaaaaay. Oh well done my friend. It’s in some way inspired by you. Something I’d been mulling over in the back of my mind then I did a reading and it came up again. I was given the title in the reading. My Blo , everything I write about is based on fact. On my life and my encounters etc……
      I have a lot on my list. I want to sing to a huge crowd and not be afraid. I want to Swim with Dolphins, See Aurora Borealis, See Whales, Salem, Boston. Do Route 66, See Canada, the US, Japan, Relearn the Guitar, Help more people, Get another massage table and get back into massage (not for a job but because I love it so much and I’m good at it). Oh I have so much yet to do. Oh…I want to remarry my husband. We had no money for a wedding. No one supported us or wanted to come (my family not included. They love my husband) so we just eloped. It broke our hearts. But we loved each other and did it anyway. I always dreamed of a fairy tale wedding. He is my King. I am his Queen. I want to feel like one just once. I know its soppy but I want to look pretty and watch his face when I walk down the aisle. Wedding Cake, photos the lot. Have my hair done, nice Classic cars, booze, food and family (mine not his). Spirit know I’ll work hard for them and if I get to cross things off my list I’ll work even harder.
      I’m so so blessed to have inspired you. I know your journey. I’m so glad I get to see you write your story.

  4. This was a beautiful post, I loved it! Almost every other day I come to see if there are any new posts πŸ™‚ And they are all inspiring!! I have actually been feeling exactly this way actually, I have MANY things I want to do and always find excuses, but I think it is time to start doing things my heart wants <3 You're dreams sound amazing. I hope you get your second wedding and all the traveling as well! I would love to see aurora borealis as wel!!!!

    • Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me.
      I have always been a dreamer and I intend to make as many of them come true as I can while I’m alive. I just made peace with someone in my family as part of my No Regrets list and so I’m at Peace now with that. So let the adventures begin.
      We have decided to renew our wedding vows back home in New Zealand surrounded by our family and friends. Ive asked my eldest sister to do the Blessing and I want everyone to just come together in celebration of Family, Love and Togetherness. It will be the last time we see some of them so I feel its important we make the memories now.
      But I’m honoured if I can inspire someone with the words of Spirit. People need to stop seeing them as something you put your hand through in an investigation and start seeing them as the fountain of infinite knowledge they are. They have a whole world of knowledge even the ones trapped in houses. So if they can inspire people from beyond like yourself they know they’re doing a good job and I’m so proud of them.
      Love and Light

      • Absolutly. I too wish that more people would be open minded and awaken their third eye!! You definilty inspire me with your words from spirit and many others too. and I am happy to BE inspired!!!I am so glad my mind is soo curious and always wants to learn more! I would hate to be close minded. and that sounds very special and beautiful to do it in New Zealand where your roots are. I’m excited for you πŸ™‚

      • Thank you. Actually my Mum when she was dying asked I bring my husband home for the family to bless the marriage. We had been married for about 3 years when she died and she hated that she was never there to see me marry so she asked I bring Chris back to NZ so my family could bless the marriage. We are coming up 13 years married this year and every year I hope this is the year I get to fulfill Mums wish. Now I’m determined to make it happen and all my family want to get involved which is going to be awesome. And now my boys are here, I get to share the experience with them too. So it’s going to be magical. I can’t wait to have all that love under the one roof.
        I just need to get there now lol Most of it is already planned out.
        Love and Light

  5. Hiya
    I love your blog, it’s truly inspirational.

    I’d like to ask for your advice for something… My mum and myself are very strong believers in the spiritual world, and we have had many experiences with spirits as there a lots in our house. We welcome all positive spirits and I like to think that we have a good relationship with them. However, I’ve never met my Grandad, and he passed away before I was born. He showed himself to my dad and oldest brother as a spirit a few years ago, and I just feel his presence wherever I go, and I feel protected. I think I’m ready for him to show himself to me, but on the other hand I’m a bit worried/frightened about it. I’m not sure whether to wait to ask him or not, or whether I should tell him not to communicate with me in that way. I would love to be able to see my spirit family as some members I miss quite a lot, but I’m worried that I might be too scared.

    • Hi Laura,
      Thank you for coming to my Blog. I’m sorry for the delay but I just had surgery a few days ago and are only now back on my feet. I have to take it easy for a few days so i thought I would come in and answer the questions.
      My advice is don’t do anything. Your Grandfather knows what you can and can’t handle. He will know when your ready more than you are. There are reasons why they don’t step forward and we just have to respect that and wait for the day when they are ready to step forward. To force contact wouldn’t be natural and could cause trouble if you don’t do it right. Just keep talking to him, identify when he is around with things like ‘I know that’s you Grandad’ type of thing and let him come to you. Gifts are so much easier to use and understand when things are forced or rushed. As I say Let Spirit be your guide. They know better than we do. But judging from your last comment I would say this is why they haven’t come through. Being scared isn’t anything to be ashamed of. It’s not natural to be living amongst the dead. Of course it can be scary. Just trust your loved ones on the other side know what they are doing and when the time is right they will step forward. Until then just enjoy knowing they are around.
      Love and Light

      • Please don’t be sorry! I really hope it went well and that you feel better soon!
        Thank you so much for your advice, it’s really helpful.

  6. So happy for him. I hope he finds peace and happiness every step of his journey.
    I think my dad’s regret was, working too hard and not having spent enough time with all his kids, even though he was the best father anyone can ever ask for and took all of us out on adventures every weekend possible. I know he always strived for the best.
    Here, I look at my life, and in the past, I have already apologized to those that I may have wronged. My biggest regret now would be, why did I not allow happiness in sooner. Why did I allow everything to hurt me or everyone to step all over me.
    The why and what ifs of my past will always eat at me. I just need to learn how to forgive, find true peace and happiness and live my life to the fullest, with no regrets. I’m on that journey.

    • The steps you take on the path to Spiritual Fulfillment are all part of the journey. Everything you go through in life is to get you to the point of enlightenment. Enlightenment being where you go ‘oh I understand why that happened now’ and also ‘Oh now I know what I must do to fix this’.
      The journey is about never looking back but looking within. Your doing what you need to do in order to be more fulfilled but it doesn’t mean you can’t validate the negative things and set backs you have had. Because without them happening you wouldn’t be where you are today.
      Your Father has worked harder than any Spirit I’ve ever known to come through. He got the two of us together via YouTube for goodness sake and if that isn’t proof of his determination and dedication to his family I don’t know what is lol Your so much like him lol
      Love and Light

  7. Am I blocked? or something I’m not able to e mail you and I’m hoping this post will get through to you. I wanted to let you know I’m following your instructions to the letter is all

    • I have one sitting in my inbox talking about the house sale. But i have a horrendous case of food poisoning and I’ve not been up to anything. My poor husband has had to take over. I’m hoping to be back on track tomorrow.

  8. Damn Debbie! Food poisoning! I really feel for you on that. I got that once got sick has a dog hopefully by now your feeling a bit better. If there is anything I can do to assist you and yours from across the pond let me know.

    • Thank you Baby, I feel rotten to the core. My darling husband had to come home from work coz I can’t even stand. Its knocked the stuffing out of me. Its been since 4am Saturday morning. I can’t have it much longer. I’m all weak and girly from not eating. I’ve been feeling fantastic for a few weeks now. So I’m feeling sorry for myself lol I won’t be going back to that place anymore. It’s always worse at night for some reason. It must be almost out my system though. The stomach cramps are only every 20 mins now. Before it was every two.
      Just surround me with love and light my friend. I’ll be back to my normal self in no time. I hope your well. Xox

  9. Debbie you’ll always have my love and all the light I have ill gladly give to you and your family. May I also say publicly your husband is to be commended for his sacrifice and the love he gives openly an in abundance to you and his children. Love and respect… John.
    P.S. I’m sure you know either by email, Skype, or phone call away if you need any help for any reason I’m here. BTW…… remember I told you I wasn’t feeling right about the house well I was right I’ll explain in an email later o.k.?

  10. thanx for posting it..whenever I am into mess I get the the answer from your blog.Its strange a bit but its true.At the the nick of time I get my answers thorugh your wrtings whenever I am struggling with the questions round and round !! Very much inspirational ……loved it
    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ thanx for stepping into my life .. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚