Suicide: The Truth. (revised)

Sadly I have been dealing with a lot of people who have had their lives torn apart by the loss of a loved one by Suicide. So I decided to do a post based on my knowledge of what happens to a Suicide Soul after they pass over.

Contrary to popular belief they do NOT go to Hell and they do NOT get classed as being a Sinner for taking their own life.

Depression is the number one cause of Suicide and Spirit being the all loving all light souls that they are turn their back on NO ONE in the After Life. So I’m going to tell you the truth about what happens and I know this according to what I have been told by the Spirits who committed suicide themselves. This might hurt or offend some people and that isn’t my intention. I am simply trying to educate people because I am quite simply bothered by the amount of lies, half truths and blatant ignorance is given by supposed Psychics and Mediums who care more about the work than the clients to educate themselves on the truth. SO here it goes. I apologize if I offend anyone but I am all about The Truth when it comes to Spirit.

Our Lives aren’t all predestined.
I used to think it was but it isn’t. We choose every single step of it. The choices we make decide what happens next and then we are to spend that life trying to find the balance. If the balance is right we are happy, if it isn’t, we aren’t.
So contrary to what some believe NO ONE dies before their time. If their time is up, it was meant to be and part of the plan. Even unfortunately Babies, Children. The duration of our life is based on two things.

The Lessons we were sent here to learn and The lessons we have taught those we leave behind. We spend more time as a Spirit than we do as a Human and we live our lives according to the lessons we are meant to learn. For example: Someone who was a wealthy, greedy, megalomaniac might after death decide to come back as a Poverty Stricken African Child so his soul will know the true meaning of suffering in his soul.

As we live our life, everything good or bad happens when and how it is meant to. Our Paths are as they were set out to be before our birth. But the easiest way to understand this is if I explain it like this.

If you imagine our life is a journey and your using Sat Nav to complete your journey. Imagine then your destination is set in before you set off on that journey and while we will go down some roads set out for us how we reach our final destination is based on how many detours and rerouting we take. The destination is the same but the roads we choose to go down is all us but either way you get there in the end. But the roads we take whether we choose them or not come with the lessons we are meant to learn from taking them. All the good things that happen to us, all the bad things that happen to us, happen because they are meant to and because the lessons we learned from them are important for us to complete the journey having learned the most we could from it.
But because the Universe is based on balance and there are always two roads. A bright sunny road and a dark scary road. You choose which road you go down and where it stops.
We are underneath all this skin, Spiritual Beings. All Spiritual beings are eager and I mean eager, students who live for the human experience so they can evolve to the next level.

With Suicides, they get to a fork in the road when the Sat Nav gives them a choice. take Road A) Where your life will end and your journey is completed or Road B) where you take the lovely scenic route which means it will take longer to reach your destination but you will get there in the end.

If they are successful in their attempt to take their life then they chose Road A. I haven’t met one Spirit who killed themselves who didn’t regret what they did the second they pulled the trigger, jumped,swallowed the pills etc….they all said the second the light left their life they realized that actually things weren’t so bad and there IS a way out of the depression or stress they were under at the time. They all wished they had chosen Road B. However because they are Spirits they know, understand and fully accept that this was the path they chose and it was for a greater purpose than anyone living realizes.
I came to realize that in fact some suicides are happy they did it. That some suicides actually are Teaching souls which means they are higher evolved than us the living and it is in the very rare exception that the lessons are for those left behind more than the one who left than the one who left. But knowing the life path the way I do now I know that none of this could of happened without everyone agreeing to it before they even got here.

I’m around suicide a LOT now and there are some parents, partners, children, friends, loved ones who have taken their grief in such a beautiful way it humbles me. On my knees and bow down humble.
They get it, they understand the pain they saw them suffering. They didn’t take it personally and while they are in pain from the grief they know that at least now the pain and suffering is over for the one they watched suffer.

For those beautiful souls who choose suicide, it is a very painful process for them. While they live they suffer and it’s a burden I have felt many times when I connect with them and I can’t describe the pain they felt. It’s indescribable and I’m pretty good at describing stuff.
I’m a descriptive person by nature. But it’s like, you see grief in everything. Think about the saddest you have ever been and have that pain in everything you do. Getting up, working, eating, sleeping, endless, none stop and you can’t think straight and you feel discombobulated because of that grief. It’s hard to concentrate just trying to imagine it so imagine how they felt living it in everyday things like just having breakfast or walking to school?

Those who suffer most are the Teaching Souls, those who witness it are the students.

I promise you, they don’t get into trouble when they cross over.
They are treated with so much love and understanding when they die. All their loved ones greet them and walk them to where they will get the help they need to release themselves from the stress and fear of what made them want to die in the first place.
All their loved ones on the other side actively join forces to help mend the pieces of their Broken Souls. And they are Broken Souls. They are released of all their Earthly emotion,all the things that made them hurt, angry, sad, depressed, jealous, worried etc…it is removed from them as is the trauma of their death. Especially in the case of Gun Shot deaths, Hangings, Train, Bus Suicides etc…the body takes a huge impact which if not removed it would carry over into the next life they have to live. And they WILL have to be reborn. So what happens next?

There are two versions of every possible out come. YOU decide your fate when it comes to suicide. But it’s not the case of it leaving tortured souls behind.
There is always a way out with Suicide. You can walk away but some souls will just never be happy living. They will be drawn to it sooner or later so no one should carry the blame. If their compass is set to do it there is nothing you can do but try to do the best by them in memory and not blame yourself.

For some reason the popular belief of those left behind is that the person who killed themselves is trapped and filled of guilt and anguish because of their actions. Because the house they lived in and or died in seems so dark now, there is a horrible air of sadness and dark depression in the building that wasn’t there before they took their life.
I am here to tell you this is wrong. The dark heavy depressive feeling left in the house they lived/died in isn’t because of them being trapped souls. It is because WE know what happened in the building and if your still living in the house where it happened or you still have access to the building no one remembers what the place was like before the death only afterwards. It’s called grief, it’s called tragedy.
The house stops being the house where ‘XYZ’ lived and it becomes the house where ‘XYZ’ took their life. They get forgotten for the people they were and become defined by the fact they took their own life.

If you can remember they are now in Spirit and all the things that made them so sad and so full of anguish in the first place is now gone. They don’t feel the same way. They are Enlightened Beings of Light, all they care about is making sure their loved ones are at Peace with their passing and this is why they choose to come back and hang around.

We all feel them around us after they die and the heaviness we feel is OUR grief not theirs. But they are around us and they are feel a little guilty but that is because of the fact they see the suffering they caused us. Suicide is never easy on anyone. If you die of an illness then people will say ‘Well at least they aren’t suffering now’ if they died of an Accident or Sudden Death they say ‘At least it was quick and they didn’t suffer’ or ‘They died doing what they loved.’ if it is Murder or something Violent like that we say ‘I won’t let the tragedy of their death define how I remember them, I’m going to embrace their memory because that is what they would of wanted’. etc….  But if it is Suicide everyone involved is left until the end of their days asking ‘Why? What could I have done? Why didn’t they talk to me or get help?’ and because of that we stick around to try to make amends.

To get your forgiveness and understanding is the biggest reward for a Teaching Soul. You do a LOT for them when you forgive them or at least try to understand what they did and why.

No Spirit who take their life is free from learning a lesson. They are ALL made to come back to those they left behind so they can see what their decision to take the A road created. And some aren’t allowed to move on to the next phase in their Spiritual Existence until they are forgiven. So this is why I tell everyone who comes to me looking for answers that they need to sit down with their loved one and tell them what their death did to them and at the end of it you need to tell the Spirit you forgive them.

For the ones who have to make amends for what they did, the best thing you can do for your loved one who has taken their own life is to sit down one day and say ‘XYZ, you broke my heart when you took your life. I will never understand why you felt you couldn’t talk to me. But I love you and I need to know your at peace now because you were in so much pain during your last days. So I want you to know I love you and I forgive you for doing what you did because no matter how much I am hurting for losing you I know nothing I feel will be as bad as what you felt when you made the decision to leave us all behind. So I forgive you and I want you to go in peace.’

Just by saying that, you heal everything. You heal the gaping hole in your heart and you heal theirs too from when they were alive and they know their suffering wasn’t for nothing.
Then they can move on to the next phase of their Existence. Which for them is Reincarnation usually but not always. Each suicide is different.
It may very well be in the next life their lose a loved one to suicide so they know the pain. Then when they die they understand it from both sides and hence they move up a step in the ladder. That would be a selfless Spirit who would level up to something like a Spirit Elder when they cross over next I imagine.

However, in the case of things like Murder Suicide it is a different story all together. In the case of a Murder Suicide the Murder Victim goes up the ladder and the one who did the murder then took their own life once they are healed of their passing etc…get sent down to the bottom of the ladder along with the serial killers and dictators etc…and will be made to suffer the pain and suffering ten times worse than they caused until they get the lessons they need to learn. Then they will get reborn and reborn and reborn and reborn moving up the ladder until they finally get the message. I know in one of my past lives (my first I think) I was a horrible disgusting man who gorged and gave orders to end the lives of those who opposed me or got in my way. I was a slothfully lazy man who basically ate himself to death from his own greed. From the times of King Henry the 8th. So I would like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes by now. lol I’m NOT coming back again. I will sit outside the Pearly Gates singing Protest songs if I have to lol

So what can you do to help someone you know how has taken their own life?

Well you can sit down one quite day or night and talk to them. It doesn’t need to be out loud, it can be in your head. But you can help by telling them how much your hurting. How you wish they had come to you for help and how much it has affected your life. It is perfectly okay to get upset and even angry. This is what they are needing to hear. You need to be 100% honest. You don’t need to use kid gloves for their benefit. If your angry, tell them your angry and why. This will be Cathartic for you and it will be a valuable lesson for them. Then after you have said all you can you then need to try and see it from their perspective. You don’t have to like it or accept it but you do need to forgive them. Because you’ll never know their fear or their suffering until you try to piece together WHY they did it. Think about all the things they had going on at the time and try and see the other side of the coin (as they will be with you too). Then you need to forgive them so they can be at peace. In fact you don’t even need to forgive them, but you do need to accept that this is what they chose and for whatever reason they did it you just want their souls to finally be at peace. By doing this your letting them move on to their next journey whatever it may be.

I am not saying that all suicide cases are reborn into a life where someone they love kills themselves either, I was using that as an example. Some have said that was the case but not all.

The one thing you don’t want to do with a Suicide is keep them Earth Bound because of your grief or guilt. It is bad enough when it happens with a loved who died from other causes but because Suicides do have to come and make amends it is easier to do it to them.
So if you love them, please……let them go. And as they have all, every single one of them have told me basically ‘Don’t let my death define how you remember me. I was more than how I died. My death wasn’t what I was as a person, it was who I was in the moment of my death. So don’t let your memory of me be about how I died and why I died. Remember ME, not my death and then if you love me, let it go so we can all be at peace.’

There is ALWAYS a way out of your despair. There is always an answer to your questions. There is always another option to taking your life. I couldn’t imagine anything worse having lost a couple of people myself to Suicide but what is worse for them is not being allowed to move on until their loved ones forgive them. They aren’t trapped. They aren’t unhappy, they can come and go as they please, but until they make amends for their passing they are just a Spirit who exists and can’t move forward to any of the good stuff. It happens to them all eventually though and I’ve seen what it does to them and it bursts your heart with pride and joy when you see it. It really is the most remarkable thing I’ve ever seen when a Spirit gets to move on. It is indescribable.
But for most, the pain is over and they are happy and at peace immediately.
I used to think differently but the more I tuned the more I heard. I didn’t know half of what I do now lol

So if you’ve lost a loved one to Suicide, let them go so they can be more than they allowed themselves to be in life. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them so you can all Be At Peace.

Death isn’t final and they are in Spirit the second they cross over. As I said some cases are not that easy but it depends on the circumstances to their suicide.

But any way you look at it suicide is fuckin soul destroying for those left behind. However, would you really want to prolong their suffering for your own needs and feelings or would you rather know they were at peace and floating about in space being all omnipresent and all knowing?

Love and Light
Mama Bear
xoxox

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100 thoughts on “Suicide: The Truth. (revised)

  1. I truly believe everything that you’ve said here. I’m glad you wrote this because it also clarified a few things for me in my mind that I was wrong about.
    I almost lost my sister to suicide a few weeks ago.
    So I really appreciate you writing this!

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    • Hi Debbie,
      Oh my goodness your more than welcome. I am so happy that I’m able to help with my knowledge and understanding of Death. This post came about because a handful of people had come to me with fears for loved ones and I felt it was time I wrote about it.
      I’m so glad I did.
      I hope your Sister gets the help she needs and that she may find peace from her internal battle. She was very brave choosing the second path. That takes more courage than pulling the trigger (so to speak).
      I hope your well.
      Love and Light
      Debbie

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  2. wow that was amazing!! I tried to kill my self 7 years ago. I slit my wrists. My girlfriend found me in the bathroom. I was sewed and stapled back together. I survived! But my sister on the other hand at the time committed suicide as well. She was successful at it. My mom was devastated. I sent her this blog to read and i hope she does. As i was reading this i forgave her and let her go. I wish i could meet you. I can feel your soul is so beautiful. As for me. I know its not my time. Many people say that i have demons attached to me because i have depression and I’m bipolar. And of course because i tried to kill my self they say i was possessed. But i don’t know about all that. I do know that it was not my time and that i have a long life to live. My grandmother is 101 years old.

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    • Hello Patience,
      Firstly let me say I’m sorry for the loss of your sister. I’ve had the fortune or misfortune (depending on how you look at it) of having to deal with a LOT of Spirits who committed suicide. Some to say it was an accident, some to say it wasn’t suicide, some to say it was murder, some to deny they did it, some to say I’m sorry, but the one thing they all have in common is they all said ‘As soon as did it and death was coming for me I realized actually my problems weren’t as bad as I thought and I should of waited and fixed it.’
      Suicide is probably the worst type of death to affect people in my opinion because even with Murders there is usually closure but with Suicide even with a letter, for the parents and loved ones there is no closure. More questions than answers and the pain never goes away and is always left unspoken. It becomes like a disease of grief that spreads throughout the years and the only way people can even begin to move on is when the loved ones get messages from the by people like me. But not everyone will seek out people like me. So some die not knowing why and only finding out why after they died and met up with their loved one. It’s just a tragic and horrible thing to have to deal with and I’ve recently and tragically had to deal with 2 children suicides. Both boys, one was 14, the other was only 10. My heart can’t even comprehend it, I can’t even begin to imagine the horror of their parents grief. Even for me, I know if that was me I couldn’t survive the grief. It’s why I don’t charge parents who have recently lost a child. Who could charge someone who has just buried their baby?
      So I understand the severity of your statement and I want to Thank you for sharing it with me and my Readers.
      Also Thank you for making peace with your sister. She has been trying to get through to people for a while. People don’t have to feel them around then they say it. Spirit get connected the second you start talking or thinking. I recommend anyone who is grieving over a suicide to write a letter to them. Telling them honestly (brutally or not is up to you) how you feel. How their suicide affected them. You can tell them openly and honest how you felt. They are beings of infinite love, light and wisdom. They won’t get upset with you if you say to them ‘I was so angry I wanted to punch your face when I saw you laying in your casket’ (that is taken from one woman who wrote to her son, he was 22 when he took his life). I tell them to get every though and every question out of their heads and on to paper. The reason why I get them to do this is because it helps them vent and unblock their energy. It also is a direct telephone line communication to the person your writing it to. The second you have a memory or thought about your loved ones on the other side they connect to you. They might not be there physically, not all the time but they will be a lot of the time. But they will hear your thoughts. Spirit work off Telepathy. The projection of thoughts, images and language from one mind to the other without the need for speech or writing is how they talk to people like me. Well, all of us. My husband and sons are also extremely telepathic also. But because they are capable of telepathy, they hear you an connect with you the second you start thinking of them. So when you write to them you are literally actually definitely writing directly to them. They will be psychically either reading over your shoulder or using the telepathic telephone line. It is very Cathartic for them. Maybe you should show your Beautiful Mother. It could help her.
      Then what I tell them to do is fold the letter up and keep it until they are ready to burn it. When you burn it, it means you’ve made Peace with and are starting to understand the Universe again and you can start to begin to rebuild. You may never burn it. You might live 100 years after the loss and never burn it (and from the sounds of it you probably will live another 100 years too lol) you might burn it as soon as you write it. But the important thing is to write it. Have that connection. I wrote one to my Dad (he wasn’t suicide his was a sudden death). It was the first time I connected writing letters to cope with the grief. Things had arisen just before his funeral that totally knocked me off my feet. To say I was blind sided was an understatement. It completely changed the way I grieved for him. I hated him in fact for a long time. My heart was broken and it has never been the same since. But when I wrote the letter it was Cathartic for me. I got to tell him I hated him. I got to tell him why. I got to tell him I loved him and he hurt me that he didn’t trust me to give me news like that in life. I got to tell him I never felt love from him growing up, that I always knew he was embarrassed of me but it was okay because now I know he wasn’t perfect either. It gave me a way to grieve without anyone telling me who to. It was my thing. Everyone has a thing. My thing is writing my feelings out on baby (or screen). It’s what I do, a lot of times it’s poems as well. But it helped. And one day about 6 years later I burned it. I just got up feeling the need to burn it so I did. I knew then I’d made peace with him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna kick his ass when I get up there. But for now, I’m okay. So please tell your Mum about it. And tell her if she ever needs to talk I am here for her. She can email me privately if she feels better with it. If she ever needs to talk, I’m here. I can’t promise your sister would come through but it doesn’t mean she won’t talk to her. Your sister keeps giving me the sensation of hitting something really hard. Her body hitting something hard. Sudden drop or fall but landing really hard. I don’t know if that was how she passed or she is saying she had a pulse when she was put on the ground. There is a panic rush just before this sensation of hitting something like a ton of bricks. Which means she died in that kind of way or she was still alive when her body was found and being examined for signs of life ie being pulled from the bed to the floor so someone can do CPR etc…..
      Anyway, listen Beautiful Flower I can promise you you don’t have demons attached to you and your not possessed. I can feel the Dark Side from a galaxy away. You have a beautiful energy. Your so kind and loyal. You work hard to make people happy. Your generous, your hard working, and misunderstood. You get lonely inside yourself. You have low self worth and your under estimated A LOT!!!. People don’t always give you the credit you deserve. Your not Possessed, you just need to be loved by genuine people. Like me. I love you. I think your awesome. And if you ever need a pep talk, you know where we are. You have a long life ahead of you. Make the most of every minute your alive. Do the things you were always too afraid to do. Learn a new language, learn to bake, take a mechanics course, write a book, record an album, whatever it is. Just do it. Live for you and your sister. Take her with you on every single one and live for the people who were to afraid to do it. But live also because you deserve to. Life is good if you look at the thorns from a different angle. Hidden underneath all that sharp, angry pointy pain maker hides Roses. You’ve just been a Rose hiding behind the thorns for too long Patience. Let your Rose see the garden your Creator made for you to grow up in.
      And I promise with all my heart never to cut you down. Only the best for a Rose here with me.
      Love and Light
      Debbie

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  3. I found this article to be exactly what I needed to read last week. Just on Jan 10th, my boyfriend lost his life to suicide so I’m still in the copying stage. He did it like 2 feet behind me so I’m slowly starting to not run that night in my head over and over again but he’s on my mind every single day. He was doing so good with his life. He had the best year he ever had. And then alcohol made his demons come out and finally he took that step a little further. This wasn’t the first time I had to deal with him being in this state. And he done it many many many times in his life. He just turned 31 in September. Alochol I believe is what really killed him but he had so many other issues which is why they all came out when he drank. He was seriously so genuine and kind and friendly and loving otherwise. Best person I have ever been with. Our life was just beginning . It wasn’t suppose to end. We planned a future together. He was seriously “the one”. Even though I google and research everyday about why he did it, why his mental illness made him do this, why alcohol made him do this, where is he now, does he remember me, is his spirit crossed over, why haven’t he gaven me any signs, could I have prevented this, why didn’t the ambulance come right away, what was his really thinking at that moment in time, he must not of really loved me, what should I have done more, etcc etccc…. And as I said, this wasn’t the first time I had to deal with it. But your post made a lot of sense to what I feel should happen in the afterlife. I don’t wanna blame him or myself and I don’t want to seem selfish but I won’t ever understand why someone who loved you so much could leave you. But I am coming to terms more and more that he is with his grandma. He is now my guardian angel. He wouldn’t want me to suffer because he hated seeing anyone sad or suffering. God, Im gonna miss him 😦 But I wanted to thank you so much for this post.

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    • He told me to tell you ‘I fucked up and I wasn’t thinking but my Soul had enough of life. Life wasn’t very good for me. You were the only thing that never went wrong or turned bad but I would only of hurt you too because I was selfish but you need to know this was NOT your fault. I take full responsibility for what I did. I was just tired of the struggle. I love you and always will and I’m so sorry for what I did but when your ready to forgive me I can move on. My mind was broken Babe, it hadn’t worked right for a long time. I dragged you in on so much bull shit and it wasn’t fair on you but don’t ask Why now. It makes no difference why things happened the way they did. It was how it was and its done. But you can take my experience with you and know never to use suicide as an excuse to sort your shit out because it sorts nothing out. It just makes more work on our behalf and on those we left behind and it’s not fair to you to keep rehashing the past’.
      ‘Please know I love you and it was never about you. I’m just sorry I never stayed. I would of just used you like a crutch and I WOULD of worn you down too. Just go be happy Babe. Go do all those things you wanted to do and keep me in your heart. I’ll always be there, and in our memories, Forever’.

      Love and Light
      Debbie
      xoxox

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      • thank you very much. I really needed to hear that. if I speak out loud does he hear me? if not, please tell him I love him and hope he will wait for me when my time is up. and if he has anything to pass on to his parents or daughter then I would love to tell them anything from him ❤

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      • Yes he will hear you if you speak out loud. They hear you if you talk ti them in your head too. It’s called Telepathy. He will hear what you write and know how your feeling and what your feeling. He knows the past present and future of your and his future as well as everyone elses. He has all the knowledge ofu the universe. But I’m here and I’ll help him and you any way I can ok?

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      • I appreciate it a lot and would like to ask more questions about it or talk to you about it more and if you offer services like that I am more than happy to hear about them cuz I don’t want to bother you asking a bunch of stuff if you are busy

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  4. This was an amazing article that you wrote, it was very insightful for me. I just recently lost my 12 year old son to suicide and I have been having a hard time in dealing with the painful heartache and continuous questions of why? and how I could have stopped him from doing it or how as a mother I wasn’t able to protect him. I miss him so much and hope that he knows how much I love him. I know losing him my life and his brothers and sisters life will not be the same. I can’t even imagine the anguish he must have been going through. I feel lucky enough that I got to know such an amazing kid and that I got to be his mom, if only for a short time.

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    • Oh my Darling Woman, you poor poor Soul. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling.
      I’m going to tell you what my Souls like your son tell me.
      Some souls are born with their compass set wrong. From the minute they are born they are destined to find a way out. They never seemed ‘complete’ always searching for something that made sense to them. They stay as long as they can for their loved ones but the pull to go home is just too strong.
      You took your beautiful boy on the journey as far as you needed to take him but he said this was always going to happen.
      He loves you all so much. But they say it is like being on a holiday they don’t really want to be on. But they know the lessons are too great to not be a part of so they come and they suffer greatly then they get to go home.
      Once home they have their compass set right away and they are complete and whole. But with the lessons learned from this life.
      He knows he hurt you, he knows you have a million questions but all you need to know is this.
      ‘I made it home safely Mummy. It’s beautiful here and all the colours are so much to take in. I see everything you do and feel everything you feel. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stay but it is hard to live a life when you don’t feel like you belong anywhere. I can breathe for the first time in 5 years and it feels so good. Your light is contained within me and all you need to do to be with me is remember me Mom. Just close your eyes and remember me and I’ll be right there beside you. I’m not 12 here now. I am light. I see your light, it is in me, I am in you. Connected forever. It’s not goodbye, just Bon Voyage. You’ll see me when your holiday ends and I’ll be waiting at the airport I promise you that. Waiting for all of you and then it will be like how it was before but happier. Just know that I am in your memories. They transport you through time. They erase the pain. Meet me there. Please be at Peace Mommy. I am. I love you and Thank you for giving me everything you did. Without your love I would never of had the courage to face this journey. But I’m so glad I did. I’m with you always. Remember me. That’s where I am. In your memories.
      xoxox

      ‘He’s talking about time and how time can be manipulated in your memories’. It’s my new science lol
      I think the way these broken compasses explain their existence is so beautiful. It’s a beautiful way to put a lovely spin on something so tragic.
      My heart is with you Mama. If you ever need to talk I’m here.
      My love to you and your family,
      Debbie
      xoxox

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      • Hello again, I wanted to possibly ask what my son meant when he said “the first time he’s been happy in 5 years?” So, my son wasn’t depressed or feeling like him committing suicide was somehow my failure as a mother. I should have been there to help him or paid attention to what he was feeling. I feel like his brother was hard on him but, I know he loves hI’m and regrets all the fights they had.

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      • Does the soul/spirit/Atma decides the end of life in case of suicide or is it the mind?
        Thanks for writing

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    • My Love,
      All I can say is, in your Spirit, you knew and he knew it was going to happen long before either of you were born but you chose this journey together so each other would have the right person by their side when it happened.
      It’s not easy for a Soul such as your Babies to live on a planet like ours. I’m an Empath and I struggle sometimes. It can be too much for a soul to bear. It’s painful living in a world that doesn’t get you and all you feel is emotion.
      I’ just blessed that I know what it is and how to deal with it but I lose friends on a weekly basis because of what I am. I over think, over love, over care with a force like no one is used to. I’m intense when I love coz my love is magnified by how much you love me back.
      But I wouldn’t change who I am because I know I’m for those who get me. If I could teach this to all the kids who felt odd, or lost I think it would change the rate at which kids are taking their own lives. I personally think it’s because of the schools. We aren’t supposed to be in School. We are meant to learn through life with our parents, family an peers at our side like all the other Mammals do. Children next to this planet itself are the most precious thing we are given. They are pure light. Nothing beats them as far as light source goes.
      So to lose one to such a thing is devastating to this planet. I promise you Julia, I’ll do all I can to advocate Teen Suicide prevention and I’ll do whatever I can for parents like you.
      Suicide is the suckiest way to die because it’s done by choice. How much pin that leaves behind is devastating and leaves and impact more times than it doesn’t. BUT with kids, NEVER. Children are NEVER sent back or told off. The discombobulated of the world get a Universe of love instead.
      Children really are the light even in death.
      I promise, even the suicides. We need to work on the prevention and I think it starts in those hell holes called School.
      He loves you, I’ve told you this. You were chosen for this journey with him because of how you loved him. This was a lesson for many, not him. he just selflessly chose to be the one to teach it to everyone.
      Love him and remember him, he lay in your memories.
      I promise you’ll see him there my Sweet Mama
      Love and Light
      Debbie

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  5. “And they aren’t allowed to move on to the next phase in their Spiritual Existence until they are forgiven.”

    This is nonsense for two reasons.

    1. Spirits can move on whether anyone forgives them or not. The real issue is how important receiving that forgiveness is to them. To say that spirits are held back by a lack of forgiveness puts the onus on the suvivors, and that’s just wrong.

    2. Forgiveness from the living is a choice, not an obligation. In my case, my father killed himself after my mother died. He used carbon monoxide, and nearly killed his two cats, too. One of them had be euthanized days later. He also died without a will, leaving a financial mess that took years and a ton of lawer’s fees to clean up. He failed to protect me from my abusive mother. He spent his entire life living a perfect life inside his own head and ignoring real problems. He didn’t even say goodbye to me, his only child, before he checked out. And that’s just a short list.

    I accept that my father’s suicide was an act of free will. I also do not feel the need to forgive him, and that doesn’t make me a bad person. He needs to work on his own stuff just as we do on Earth. It’s not up to me to decide whether or not he moves forward.

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    • No offense my friend but your understanding of Suicide is not only ignorant but dangerous. It is beliefs like that which make us unable to evolve as a Spiritual Species. By your very reckoning we should have no trapped Spirits yet we have millions of them. Most are suicides or murders or sudden death. Some have NOT been allowed to cross over.
      There are two types of suicides.
      Those who feel like their compass was set wrong and never felt like they belonged on this earth no matter how hard they tried to fit in. These ones pass freely. Without question. Especially children, the disabled or mentally broken.
      Then you have the selfish ones who didn’t take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. THEY DO NOT GET TO CROSS OVER!!!
      I don’t pull this stuff out of my backside though. 80% of my work is suicide based. One of my top students just buried her Soul mate in January and he was a broken compass Soul and he is with me daily telling me how it is.
      If we just did shit like that without fear of consequences what the hell would we learn when we crossed over? That it’s okay to tear lives apart because you couldn’t handle life?
      Only the lost cross over. Children, the damaged, etc…..and they have the biggest most important roles in our lives because they chose these hard lives in order to teach lessons to the ones who need the most.
      All the roles our loved ones play n our lives is all pre agreed before we come down. We all help each other in this Universe. From the lowest energy to the brightest light.
      You might have forgiven your Dad but it doesn’t mean he will be allowed to cross. Especially with the cat situation.
      The trapped souls need help crossing over. It is that simple.
      Your two experiences with suicide while tragic don’t make you an expert Hun and if you tell grieving people that stuff your asking for trouble.
      I’ve dealt with this stuff since I was 20yrs old when my cousin killed himself. He was the first one to come to me and tell me like it is.
      Those born with a broken compass who can never find their place help me help suicidal people every single day.
      They are trying to mend bridges so we can all evolve.
      Please let them. Because without it we are all doomed to be in between light and dark forever.
      I’m sorry for your loss. I know your angry I can feel it in you.
      You need to give your dad a telling off.
      I appreciate your comments but I WILL defend my case with facts and data every time. I have 24 years of helping them deal with the after math of their passings and I can not sit and let people get this stuff wrong.
      No offense but I had to say something. If I’m putting my life on the line to go public with this stuff I insist on being the best in my field when t come to knowledge.
      Knowledge is power and when you know death you don’t fear it. Without fear you have total power over your Universe.
      If I can help one parent or one lover understand why their lived one could no longer stay here then I’ll move heaven and earth to do it.
      BUT they only get the truth from me.
      And also your so very very very VERY wrong. IT IS UP TO US TO HELP THEM CROSS OVER.
      Or people wouldn’t be asking me 120 times a week how to helped their loved ones suicide stop impacting the energy of the house or place they died it.
      Have you ever seen a trapped Suicide Spirit? Heard their pleas? Their screams of ‘Why can’t I see the light?’ and ‘Why is it so dark here?’ etc….
      I have. It rips your soul out. If ending that pain helps them then we have to do it. We all fight to get to the light but our evolutionary laziness means some of us don’t get to. It’s up to those of us who do to make sure we ALL evolve.
      Without it we have no balance. That is why suicide is so high right now.
      Especially among 10-18yr olds.
      So please, educate yourself before you go telling people this stuff or you set us back a few decades by how wrong you are.
      Love and Light
      Debbie

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  6. Hello, your blog post above is the most comforting thing I have read on suicides and the afterlife. My darling daughter killed herself four weeks ago. She was beautiful and had many friends. I love her so much and I still can’t imagine life without her. She was only 20 years old. I keep wondering, ‘Why us?’ and ‘Why her?’ She was wise beyond her years and worked with disabled youth. She knows she is forgiven. The day she died I thought I got the message from her, “I’m sorry mum. I didn’t mean it.’ A couple of days later I got ‘Mum, I wasn’t thinking clearly’. I haven’t had any messages since then. I don’t know whether I imagined those messages or whether they really were from her. I pray she is being looked after in heaven. I pray that one day we will be together again and then I never want to be parted from her. And I pray that she is happy and free.

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    • Hi Luci,
      Oh My Love, she spoke to you. That’s proof she is happy and free. Her compass was just set for home Honey. She was never destined to stay but you chose this incredibly painful path together because one couldn’t go through it without the other. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but one day you’ll understand why you picked the path you did and why she did too. The lessons that come from human suffering are an experience Spirit hold very sacred which is why they don’t take suicides lightly. It is a serious matter that only the strongest souls are able to get involved in. So don’t think for one minute that any of this is easy for them. BUT the love and light that comes because of it, because of the lessons that get learned but all involved, is so strong in them, they wouldn’t have it any other way. With learning comes knowledge, with knowledge comes wisdom and with wisdom comes Power. The Light is the most powerful thing in the Universe. The Light is the Power.
      Souls like your daughter are at the Power stage. She came down, she learned her lessons, gained knowledge as her, crossed over become a wise soul from her Wisdoms and got the Power. Now she is talking to you 🙂
      Whether you can understand this or not, you gave her this journey, you helped her get the power. She is more free and happier and more at peace than even the best life on earth could provide.
      That is the reward for being a teaching soul.
      I hope you can be proud of that one day.
      She adores you, your her best friend. Always were.
      You weren’t like the other Mums, you were cool. She liked being around you.
      But she simply caught an early flight home. You’ll see her at the airport Babygirl. She’ll be holding up the biggest sign.
      In the mean time see her in your memories. It’s like Facebook lol
      You can see what she is up to.
      My heart is with yours Sweet Mama
      Love and Light
      Debbie

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      • Hi Debbie, thank you for your very kind words. Yes, I have no fear of death any more. It’s not that I want to kill myself–I have another daughter to be here for and to help. But when my time comes to cross over, I will be happy that I will be seeing my beautiful girl again. Until then, I’ll miss her every day of my life. Bless you,

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      • Debbie I need your help suicide is on my mind as an escape. My mother and family will not speak to me and I have a horrible marriage. It was good until five years ago and I believe he had an affair with a person we both know and it lives with me daily. I have a grandmother and father that if I could see I would be at peace. I have been treated for depression 40 years and nothing or no one has helped, I have two poodles that are my life and I feel I am theirs and I do not want to leave them alone. I tried two suicides when I was younger but both failed I don’t think I tried hard enough I fear what will happen afterwards I could write more but I cannot I am getting a killing headache. Can you help me please.

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  7. Hi, I have read a few of your blog posts and am impressed with your passion and your views. My Dad killed himself when I was 11, although I only found out by accident when I was 18. Even though I didn’t know that he had killed himself I was somehow obviously aware because I lived everyday in close relation with suicide and suicidal thoughts.
    One day I found a book by Hermann Hesse called Steppenwolf which helped me to understand who I am. In it is a passage that for some reason my mind has been screaming at me to leave somewhere on your blog… I don’t know why, but perhaps it’s best not to question why.

    “Another was that he was numbered among the suicides. And here it must be said that to call suicides only those who actually destroy themselves is false. Among these, indeed, there are many who in a sense are suicides only by accident and in whose being suicide has no necessary place. Among the common run of men there are many of little personality and stamped with no deep impress of fate, who find their end in suicide without belonging on that account to the type of the suicide by inclination; while on the other hand, of those who are to be counted as suicides by the very nature of their beings are many, perhaps a majority, who never in fact lay hands on themselves. The “suicide” need not necessarily live in a peculiarly close relationship to death. One may do this without being a suicide. What is peculiar to the suicide is that his ego, rightly or wrongly, is felt to be an extremely dangerous, dubious, and doomed germ of nature; that he is always in his own eyes exposed to an extraordinary risk, as though he stood with the slightest foothold on the peak of a crag whence a slight push from without or an instant’s weakness from within suffices to precipitate him into the void. The line of fate in the case of these men is marked by the belief they have that suicide is their most probable manner of death. It might be presumed that such temperaments, which usually manifest themselves in early youth and persist through life, show a singular defect of vital force. On the contrary, among the “suicides” are to be found unusually tenacious and eager and also hardy natures. But just as there are those who at the least indisposition develop a fever, so do those whom we call suicides, and who are always very emotional and sensitive, develop at the least shock the notion of suicide. Had we a science with the courage and authority to concern itself with mankind, instead of with the mechanism merely of vital phenomena, had we something of the nature of an anthropology, or a psychology, these matters of fact would be familiar to every one. What was said above on the subject of suicides touches obviously nothing but the surface. It is psychology, and, therefore, partly physics. Metaphysically considered, the matter has a different and a much clearer aspect. In this aspect suicides present themselves as those who are overtaken by the sense of guilt inherent in individuals, these souls that find the aim of life not in the perfecting and molding of the self, but in liberating themselves by going back to the mother, back to God, back to the all. Many of these natures are wholly incapable of ever having recourse to real suicide, because they have a profound consciousness of the sin of doing so. For us they are suicides nonetheless; for they see death and not life as the releaser. They are ready to cast themselves away in surrender, to be extinguished and to go back to the beginning. As every strength may become a weakness (and under some circumstances must) so, on the contrary, may the typical suicide find a strength and a support in his apparent weakness. Indeed, he does so more often than not. The case of Harry, the Steppenwolf, is one of these. As thousands of his like do, he found consolation and support, and not merely the melancholy play of youthful fancy, in the idea that the way to death was open to him at any moment. It is true that with him, as with all men of his kind, every shock, every pain, every untoward predicament at once called forth the wish to find an escape in death. By degrees, however, he fashioned for himself out of this tendency a philosophy that was actually serviceable to life. He gained strength through familiarity with the thought that the emergency exit stood always open, and became curious, too, to taste his suffering to the dregs. If it went too badly with him he could feel sometimes with a grim malicious pleasure: “I am curious to see all the same just how much a man can endure. If the limit of what is bearable is reached, I have only to open the door to escape.” There are a great many suicides to whom this thought imparts an uncommon strength. On the other hand, all suicides have the responsibility of fighting against the temptation of suicide. Every one of them knows very well in some corner of his soul that suicide, though a way out, is rather a mean and shabby one, and that it is nobler and finer to be conquered by life than to fall by one’s own hand. Knowing this, with a morbid conscience whose source is much the same as that of the militant conscience of so-called self-contented persons, the majority of suicides are left to a protracted struggle against their temptation. They struggle as the kleptomaniac against his own vice.”

    I think there is also an element here that fits in with your thoughts on empathy especially when he describes the suicides as those “who are always very emotional and sensitive”.
    I am 41 now and I still live every day in close relation to suicide, but not in a depressing way. I understand why I think that way now as opposed to when I was younger and I was just confused by the whole thing.

    Before I go I’ll share one final quote that touches on another recurring theme I have seen in your blog.

    “It is necessary to keep one’s compass in one’s eyes and not in the hand, for the hands execute, but the eye judges.” ― Michelangelo

    It can be read straight in the sense of an artist’s compass used for measuring or you can let your mind run wild and interpret it in… Well, you know what to do.

    Mark

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  8. Your article really gave me some peace of mind. My childhood friend /first love took his life by hanging himself, and it hurt me when I found out because it’s been many years that I spoke to him & I never stop wondering how he was doing I always wished the best for him , I wish I would have been there for him , . I feel like he has been around me spirituality & I forgave him and hope he finds peace I wish I knew what his last thoughts were or if he thought of me , it’s beautiful how you said they take a stroll down memory lane when you think of a moment with them , my mind has been running since

    Like

    • Hi Vittie,

      Happy Debbie’s article could give you some peace of mind. Suicide always hurts, and most of the time the people that stay behind will wish they were there for the person (more). Doesn’t matter if they didn’t see or talk to them for many years or if they were there by his or her side every day. Suicide leaves people to feel powerless. I am proud you forgave him, it can be a hard thing to do but it is best for everyone. I hope you will enjoy many moments in which you feel his spirit with you.

      Love and light
      xx

      Sef (One of Debbie’s students)

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Thank you for writing this. Right now I’m sitting here feeling everything at once and I seem to be at a loss for words. I lost my fiance Cameron to suicide Monday April 18, 2016. It’s been a little over 2 months now and I seem of recently to be hurting more now then the day it happened… I’m really struggling with his death. Monday’s are extremely hard but the past five days I cry harder and longer and I’m so angry at him. I feel him around all the time and sometimes it scares me and I don’t know why. I have so many questions like most do when losing someone they love this way. I need closure to move forward with my life and I need to let him go but I don’t want to I want to hate him but I can’t. Reading what you wrote was very insightful as I’m not a religious person but spiritual I am. It’s refreshing read about energies going back to the universe and reincaration it’s everything I believe but I haven’t been brainwashed to religion so to speak. Maybe.. hopefully you can help me get the closure I so deparately need…

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    • Hi Dawn, I am SO sorry for this very late reply. Because Debbie is so buisy she asked some of her students to help her answer all the questions on her blog, one of which is me. I will try my best to answer you as good as possible.

      I lost my boyfriend this year to suicide, and I understand so much of what you are saying. I too was hurting more a while after it happened then the weeks directly after it happened. I think because after a while everything settles down, the people stop coming to you, the cards stop coming, the rush is over and life continues. And after a while things sink in and you realise you have to continue, by yourself.. Life as you imagined it to be has completely changed and you are angry and frustrated. At one point I was crying my eyes out every day, overwhelmed by this anger and frustration, and feeling I didn’t have anywhere to go to with my emotions. Sometimes I would feel him around me and I would just be so angry I told him to fuck off and don’t come to me like he cares now because he was the one that left me alone, then I would feel guilty for saying that…. I felt torn apart because on the one side was the anger, wanting him to fuck off but on the other side the love for him and the feeling that I didn’t want to push him away from me either, didn’t want to lose what was left of him being around me.

      Here’s what I can tell you now.

      By letting him go you will NOT lose him. A spirit that commits suicide needs to be forgiven to continue on their spiritual journey, and they do deserve to be forgiven. However they will never leave you, even if you forgive him and ‘let him go’. He will be with you every step of your life, every hard and every happy moment, everytime you think about him, he will be right there with you. So don’t be afraid to lose his presence once you let him go, you won’t. Second thing is please DO be angry at him. you deserve to be angry, you have to allow this emotion before you can forgive him. Allow yourself to be angry at him. Tell him every emotion you have, every thought you have, good, bad, sad, happy, powerless, regret, thankfullness, everything. Just take a moment by yourself and spit it all out. You can either say it out loud or in your head. He will know you love him, even though you are angry, but you need to let this, and every other emotion be there, and spit it out. You need to spit out all your emotions in order to heal yourself and to truely forgive him. There is no use in keeping it inside, you will only hurt yourself and it will not help in forgiving him and letting him continue on his spiritual journey.

      I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Please try to accept all your emotions and to share them with him and let us know how you feel afterwards. If you have any question please feel free to post it here. I wish you a lot of strength and if you ever need to talk I am here ok.

      Love and light and a very big hug

      xx
      Sef

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you so much for your blog. It helps me understand, a little, what my daughter might be going through. She killed herself 2 months ago. She was beautiful. briiliant. very loved. but messed up all her relationships with everyone who loved her. I cry every day, I feel so terrible that she chose the path she did, that she didn’t get help. I tell her every day that I love her, that she is at peace now, that I release her, but I’m not sure she is at peace. She felt that her little children would be better off without her but of course they are heartbroken, we all are. There was some mental illness going on that she tried to cure herself with diet and meditation but nothing helped, and she wouldn’t get help. My last contact with her was not positive, and I am so so sad, even though I try to release my sadness in order to release her…I have had a dream where she comes to me and tells me she wants me to know how she felt, and kicks me in the kidney.

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    • Hi Jane, Because Debbie is so buisy she asked some of her students to help her answer all the questions on her blog, one of which is me. I will try my best to answer you as good as possible.

      First of all I am so sorry for your loss, what a heartbreaking story. I asked Debbie’s help on the interpretation of the dream. What I noticed over time is that many dreams mean quite the opposite of what our instincts tell us they mean. The same is going on with your dream. Debbie told me it means your daughter is trying to tell you you need to stop beating yourself up, there was nothing you can do and your daughter takes full responsibility for her actions. I hope this knowledge can help you in letting go of any guilt you might have. You should not worry about her being at peace because she is perfectly fine. And you should be proud of yourself for being so accepting towards her decision even though it must be very hard for you!! It is the most beautiful thing you can do for her. But besides forgiving your daughter you will need to forgive yourself too. Like your daughter tried to tell you in your dream, there was nothing you could have done, you did the best you could in the situation as it was.

      You should realise that you cannot jump to forgiving and releasing her without allowing your other emotions to be felt too. You first need to feel your own pain and other emotions and express them. I recommend you sit down by yourself and start talking to your daughter, like you do every day by telling her you love and release her. But now I want you to put all your emotions out there. Express your anger, sadness, doubt, guilt, pain, regrets you have about your last contact and anything else, how powerless you felt and how bad you had wanted her to get help, how bad you feel for her kids being left here without her, how sad you are for having lost your beautiful daughter and how you had wished better for her.. Lay it all out there, the good the bad and the ugly. You need to allow all these feelings to be here and to express them towards her before you can truely release her. You cannot release an emotion if you don’t allow it to be there first. Clear the table. There is no use in keeping up a happy face now, being strong towards her. The only thing to be done is to put it all out there, show all your negative emotions, all your weaknesses. She will understand, she will love you. And you both need this to heal. After you got all of that out you can truely forgive and release her.

      I have a lot of respect for you, the way you talk about her, wanting to take care of her, just wanting to make sure she is ok. It is very hard for most people to be so selfless in a situation like this. Just don’t forget about your own emotions ok, it will benefit your daughter too.

      I wish you and the family strenght, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask them, we will be here for you.

      Love and light

      xx

      Sef

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hi Jane,

        Right after I finished writing up my reply to you I noticed I felt connected to a spirit. I am only just a student, and nowhere near fully trained in this, but Debbie gave me permission to open up to the spirit and see what it would bring. I cannot be sure if this spirit was related to you and if this message was meant for you but could you please let me know if you can identify to the following?

        The spirit defenitely is female, she gives me a chocking pressure on my neck like she hung herself. I also have a numb feeling on my left cheeckbone. I get the image she has dark brown hair, I think straight with a pony. She is not old in age but feels very very old on the inside, like a 100 yar old women with wrinkles an grey hair. Feels so tired. She shows me hands with a plain golden ring left and a ring with a big transparent stone right. She also shows me Green earrings. It feels like she is very classy/graceful, with some beautiful jewelry and nice clothes and she has a good figure. I get the number 7. I see a light colored carpet with a baby bottle on it.
        She makes me feel like she really couldnt stay, this was for the best and there was no other option for her. She says sorry and I love you and she makes me feel love for the entire family. The says this was all on me and the disease in me.
        She lets me watch a grandmother play with the kids. She shows me flowers and gives me the feeling she was grateful for her funeral. She shows me a small silent room with flowers and I think the casket. Orange related to this room.
        I see a big guy, not really slim, very short hair and a bit of a beard. Saw a young boy running towards him and him picking the kid up. He looks worried, the kid is happy to see him. I feel very calm when looking at this.
        When I ask her if she has more messages I feel an overwhelming love and the feeling like she flies away.

        -Sef

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Sef, thank you for your response about my daughter. It helped a lot. I think the spirit you felt is her – describes her, and her funeral details, really well. If you could email me privately I will send you more information and pictures that are similar to what you describe. thank you again for your response. it means a lot. Love and light to you, Jane

        Liked by 2 people

      • Hi Sef

        Thank you so much for your response. It has helped a lot.

        I think the spirit who visited you is my daughter. A lot of the details fit. I would send you pictures and details to see if they fit what you saw, but don’t want to post publicly… If you respond privately to this I will send, just to confirm whether what you saw fits with my daughter and her funeral, and the man and boy you saw, and the grandmother…

        Again, thank you for your wise comments. You have helped me enormously.

        Love and light to you,

        Jane

        ________________________________

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Jane, Thank you for your reply and thank you for being so open towards the message I wrote you. You are thereby also helping me as a student with my spiritual journey. I would be very interested in receiving some information and pictures, but only if you are truly comfortable with it ok? I think it would be easiest if you contact me at vatospurelove@gmail.com.

        Xx

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    • Hi Jane, Thank you for your reply and thank you for being so open towards the message I wrote you. You are thereby also helping me as a student with my spiritual journey. I would be very interested in receiving some information and pictures, but only if you are truly comfortable with it ok? I think it would be easiest if you contact me at vatospurelove@gmail.com.

      Xx

      Like

  11. Hello my brother passed this Feb 13 2016 and I haven’t received any messages and have not had any dreams of him. I miss him so much he left a daughter behind just before her 1st birthday. He was angry because of his girlfriend that night and had been drinking. I wish I was able to help him see another way. Please tell him I love him very much and miss him terribly. I want to talk to him I wish he knew his family loved him and could have helped him. I always tried to give him advice but he was rebellious. I just want him to be happy and be at peace. He will always be in my heart.

    Like

    • Hi Cindy, Because Debbie is so buisy she asked some of her students to help her answer all the questions on her blog, one of which is me. I will try my best to answer you as good as possible.

      First of all sorry for your loss, this must be a really rough situation for all of you. What I want you to know is that you don’t need me or Debbie or anyone else to communicate with your brother. If you talk to him he will hear you. I suggest you sit down by yourself like Debbie describes in this blog and just start talking to him. Throw it all out there, your anger, sadness, feeling that you were powerless to help him even though you tried, your love, your missing him… Say it all and you will feel relieved. He WILL hear you, please always remember that! So sit down and talk to him and see how it will make you feel. Look in the small things to see his answer, trust your intuition.

      Also I can ensure you he is at peace now, all the things that were holding him back, bothering him, all the negativity or bad emotions were removed the moment he passed on. He is a pure being of love and light now and he will see the hurt and pain he has caused in all of you. He knows you did your best to help him, but like you said he was rebellious and in the end he chose to go this way but he probably regretted choosing this path the moment he passed over. The best thing you can do for him is to forgive him and let him go, but know that he will always be with you, and the rest of his family and friends, especially his precious little daughter.

      I wish you strenght, and if you have more questions please don’t hesitate to ask them.

      Love and light

      xx

      Sef

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I recently lost my boyfriend to suicide. He jumped in front of a train. I was wondering if he’s in a better place or if he’s in limbo. I also want to know if I committed suicide I would be able to be with him again or would his soul be in a new life? I’m really confused because some people say that the soul will never be reborn and others say it will take a new life form. Also I’m confused about the heaven and hell thing since I was born to a non religious family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Rogue, Because Debbie is so buisy she asked some of her students to help her answer all the questions on her blog, one of which is me. I will try my best to answer you as good as possible!

      I lost my own boyfriend to suicide earlier this year, so I had a lot of questions similar to yours.

      You should not worry about him being in limbo, I was afraid of this too at first when my boyfriend committed suicide. But a suicide is never punished like that. After he died he was received with open arms by the spirit world and his soul was cleared of all the burdens from life, his worries, negative emotions, his pain, any trauma was removed and he now is a being of pure love and light.

      There is no heaven, nor a hell just a spiritual ladder. The spirits that have done the worst things in life like murder and exploit others will be sent to the bottom of the ladder, and will have to work their way up through a lot of lives in which they will suffer to teach their spirits what it is like to suffer. But a suicide is not punished by being sent to the bottom of the ladder, they simply chose route A and took the fast way home which is nothing to be punished for. His spirit, however, wil be made to see the hurt and pain he has caused with you and the rest of his family and friends which will serve as a spiritual lesson for him. It is very likely he will have to live another life after this to continue his path of learning, maybe in his next life he will be the partner or friend to someone that commits suicide so he can understand the suffering he caused you and all his loved ones.

      To answer your question about being together with him again… I know all you think about now is when you will see him again, to be together like you used to be. There is an emptiness in you and you just want to fill the emptiness and be with him again. But committing suicide yourself is not the answer. The fact that his journey here ended doesn’t mean your journey is finished yet. Suicide is something almost all spirits regret the moment they do it, at that moment they will realise there was another way out. There is always something to live for, to go on for. And the lessons your spirit will have to learn you will have to learn anyways, if not in this life, then you will have to learn them in the next. If you decide to go now I think the moment you go you will realise that it would have been worth it to continue the journey and to wait for your reunification with him. It’s because we are here to experience, to learn our lessons. The human experience is worth it all, the tragedies feed our souls and they strengthen us.

      And I promise you that when it is your time to go he will be waiting there for you with open arms, may it be now or in 80 years, he will be there. So have faith you will see him again. Connected souls stay connected forever, you will meet him again after you cross over, and you will probably live some more lives together. So don’t rush things, take things as they come. Accept the journey. And heal first…

      Things like this hurt us deeply. After my boyfriend passed I was so frustrated, but it helped to talk to him like Debbie describes in this post. I sat down and started talking to him. It ranged from screaming to him how he was an asshole, how he promised we would do this together and how I wanted to slap him in the face to telling him how much I love him and how I understand his decision because I had seen his suffering every day of the life we spent together. It helped me to throw it all out, and you dont have to do it at loud you can say those things in your head too. He will hear you. And the most important thing you should not forget about is that even though it feels like he is gone now, he is still with you. Over time you will notice him in the small things. He will be with you every step, and he will be with you when you cry and hurt, when you think about him and when you smile. I am sure he wants to see you smile again eventually. Never feel guilty about how you will live your life from here, he will understand. Trust your intuition and you will feel him with you. And if you want to talk to me to share our experiences feel free to message me in private. It has helped me to talk to someone that has had a similar experience. Also if you have any more questions feel free to share them here or in private.

      I would like to share a song with you, a song I saw today that was shared by someone else on this blog at a suicide post. I thought it migth be a good song for you too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWGDkUQ5NEI

      Lots of love, big hug, message me if you feel the need

      xx

      Sef

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Labgoat, My daughter took her own life this year. She was 20. She has told me through two mediums that she ‘had her wings clipped’. Can you please tell me who ‘clipped her wings’ and for what purpose? Thank you, Luciana xxx

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      • Hi Luci, the mediums are wrong. We do not get given those kinds of punishments in Spirit. These will be mediums who like everyone assumes suicides get punished in Spirit when they don’t. They are self governing so anything that she experiences she does to herself as part of her journey into an evolved Spiritual being. Your daughter makes contact. If she makes contact she’s at peace. Just on a huge journey that’s all. But I promise you she’s had nothing clipped. We are not harsh punishing souls in Spirit, we are learning loving souls wanting to go on an adventure and see everything as a journey with an opportunity to evolve.
        Go in peace my love and take this stuff with a grain of salt if it doesn’t sit well with you.
        Love and Light
        Sefannes Proud Spiritual Mummy
        Mama Bear
        Xox

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Mama Bear, I don’t think I explained myself property. The messages have been that she felt (while she was living) that she lacked freedom and that her wings were clipped, not now in the spirit world. Now she is free and happy. So she’s saying that she wasn’t able to live to her potential on earth because her wings had been clipped. Hope it makes sense now. Any information you can give would be greatly appreciated, Luci x

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      • Ooooh Dudette lol I was gonna say it was a bit overly dramatic lol yes sadly many suicides don’t feel like their life truly begins until death. It’s hard for us living go comprehend but it’s the way their compass is set. But the living are the dead on vacation and some of us just are happier catching an early flight home more than others. But guaranteed she’ll be waiting at the airport when your flight comes in Mama. Your empathy for her helps her a great deal my love trust me. I hope it helps you too.
        Xox

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  13. Which spirits become wandering spirits after suicide? How’s a day in the life of a wandering spirit/ghost. Is it like hell?
    My father committed suicide and I had his dreams and sometimes felt his presence too, but he was a very nice person. On the other hand, my cruel grandparents died a natural death but I have never felt their presence. Why’s it so?

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  14. His dear, I have lost my dad to sucide 5 days back. He was suffering a lot physically and mentally. I could forgive him immediately and could feel that he is at peace now. We found his sucide note in which he has only asked everyone to forgive him.

    I am talking to him continously. No signs from him. But I am sure he is listening. I want him to be happy, at peace and pain free.

    Are there any messages from him to me?

    Thanks a lot in advance!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello, I am one of Debbies students and she asked me to reply on some messages on here in her behalf because she is very busy.

      First of all sorry for your loss. You should be very proud on yourself for being able to forgive him so quick, this is a long process for many people in similar situations. However please make sure you don’t forget about your other emotions too. You should allow yourself to feel anger, sadness etc. Like Debbie indicates in this blog it is good to talk to your dad and just tell him everything you feel. Not only that you love him and that you forgive him, but all your emotions. Even the ones that are on the negative side. Only after you have accepted all of your emotions you can truely release him. Don’t worry about him being happy and at peace because he is. Keep looking for the signs because they can be evrywhere and very small. Try to trust your gut feeling, it will tell you ‘this was dad’ when something happens.

      If we receive any spontaneous messages from your dad we will let you know, however if you want to be sure to get Debbie to connect with him you can schedule a reading with her. Please email her at debbiedakiwi@gmail.com and indicate you would like to schedule a reading. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process.

      Love and light

      -Sef

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  15. Hi I’m having a hard time getting over my fiancé death I was hoping I could get some answers from you and see if you can connect with him and see what’s going on and why he left me feeling like this and how he’s feeling!!

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  16. Hi, my husband committed suicide almost a month ago i was the one to found him dead and it hurts. Im angry because he left me with 2 boys and one baby. He took so much away from them. Its not fair his mom put the blame on me and everyone else thinking he did what he did because we had no money. We are not rich but thankfully we didnt owe no one . Im angry because he didn’t try to deal with the consequences of his actions. At first i didnt know why but once i had the chance i went through his phone i found out he was having sex with different prostitutes. I don’t know what happen but the day before he committed suicide he was searching information on when he was going to have court even the morning of the suicide but i guess he couldnt find out and than he searched how to hang himself saw youtube videos on how to do the knot and stuff came home and did it. Now Im left with the anger of why he didn’t face his consequences. Reading this helped me understand that is normal to feel anger towards him that i need to let him rest in peace but it’s going to take me a while to do that. Thank You .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ana, oh my Sweet sweet Mama I am so sorry for everything your going through. Your husband sadly falls into the category of one who chooses his fate and unfortunately for you and your babies he chose himself.
      Suicide can be a selfish act but the emotional consequences of which aren’t felt until after the act. They know immediately upon death they made a mistake and then have to deal with the fall out. Bring self governing Souls he’d of known immediately where he went wrong and what needs to be done to fix it. You aren’t expected to forgive him right away. Your allowed to show him how angry you are. He changed yours and your children’s fate without talking to you and that’s unfair. He needs to know what he did made you angry and hurt. What he did wasn’t ok for you. But do try to understand that the chemicals in the brain changes the moment a person decides to die so they’re not themselves. His secrets made him afraid of being found out which is a bit sad really because all he needed to do was stop doing what he was doing and talk to you about it. And that’s not fair on you. But he will be devastated at what he’s been made to see himself do and he WILL choose to come back to live again once he’s made amends to his loved ones because we are here as Souls for the human experience as no other life out there is like ours on earth. He needs to evolve but his evolution won’t be like yours. He needs to observe and learn now that his actions had far reaching consequences. He will be a peaceful loving soul with none of the fears and hang ups of his life so he’ll see things with a clear calm head on his ethereal shoulders. Yours isn’t to ask why now my darling but what. What can I do to now to move on from this? What can I do for our children? What can I do to bring peace and balance into our lives? Because the peace isn’t his go find now my Darling. It’s yours. He found his in his last breathe. You deserve nothing less than what he now has as a self educating Spirit.
      I wish you nothing but love and light and I suggest you write to him or talk to him and tell him EVERYTHING that’s on your mind. He’ll hear every thought and know every feeling. Trust me. Swear, cry, yell, threaten, even be angry but get it out. You need to get it out and he needs to hear it. Then when your ready to let go burn the letter. Don’t stop yourself from feeling this tragedy. This is your journey too even if it was on a different path to his.
      My heart is with you Ana
      Love
      Mama
      Xox

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      • Thank You it’s so hard but one day ill be ok for the kids. What do you mean “he will be back “? So if he reencarnating that means when i die he is not going to be waiting for me he is going to have a new family, new life and new love. Every day pases by it hurts more and more. Sucks how he choose to fix his problems and took with him so much from us .

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  17. Hi Debbie,

    Thank you so much for writing this. I lost my Pops (my dad) to suicide on the night of August 13, 2016. That same day we had a Celebration of Life for my kids’ Gramma Genny. Less than 48 hours after my Pops suicide, my husband’s mental condition became worse and he too threatened suicide. So much has happened in such a short time period but the piece that I feel has had the biggest impact is my Pops suicide. I’m not angry with him and although it’s hard to accept the fact that he left me and the kids, I understand what he was going through. I do wish I had been there more for him and that I could have convinced him to move in with us. I wish I would have told him how much he meant to us and how much we love him. Mostly it kills me inside to know how much he must have been suffering to make that decision and my biggest fear has been that he has not found peace. Your article made me feel better about that part.

    Thank you,
    RJ/LG

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  18. My boyfriend completed suicide 2months ago and am I messed up over this one!! I never imagined loosing a boyfriend this way, ya breakups are hard but death it’s something I’ll never get over.. I’ve actually been thinking about doing the same as I’ve been blamed and told for me to go kill myself, I have no life I quit my job, I lost our baby that I found out I was pregnant with after he passed and all I do is sit at home and research on suicide and question!! Our relationship wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be I was previously in a 15 yr relationship that messed me up very badly and when I got with the new one 8 yrs younger than me in the beginning I never wanted to be away from him I loved him very much and he fell in love with me very quickly then I moved him in with me and that’s when things changed I turned into this heartless person and put him down every chance I got I didn’t appreciate him and he went out of his way everyday to make me and my kids very happy and I didn’t appreciate it!! I told him I was a very hurt person and I wanted to show him but it was hard and he said he’d wait.. Well I got suspicion he was using drugs again which I feel now I drove him to that and I was always putting my friends first and sure enough yes he was using drugs again , he just came home from prison in Jan after doing 4 yrs and I was very disappointed in him using and would never allow that around my children so on July 30,2016 he sent me a picture of a shotgun and said call me before this happens so I did and I flipped out and said put it down and he cocked it in my ear and I called 911 then there was a standoff he begged for them to let him talk to me and I was the only one who could stop it but they wouldn’t let us talk and that’s when he took his life and I’m left with this guilt and blame and the worse pain I’ve ever felt in my life and I want it to end.. They say he did it cause he thought he was going back to prison for having a firearm in his possession but I was told he wasn’t.. Now I find out he got very addicted to the drugs again and dropped dirty twice already and the day of he was shooting cocaine up and was very high!! So will he be recarnated or will we be together again and is his love for me the way it was here? He couldn’t stand his family and they’re the ones threatening me so how do you think his relationship is with them now on the other side?? Will I be able to be with him again?

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    • Thank you so much for your response mama, and yes I agree I need help, I’ve suffered my whole life with depression and anxiety and scared to start medication and now that I think of it I had him go to a dr and get on meds for adhd and weeks after is when he started talking suicide and I’m feeling guilty because everyone is saying I should of never got him on medication I should of accepted him the way he was, so was it the medication that made him that way? And I will definitely learn from this lesson, I wish he’d of just talked to me and told me how bad he was suffering but why hurt me and my children and leave us to live with this the rest of our lives ? And I was having a lot of signs now I’m not having any and it scares me! I wonder how he feels about him family and what they’re doing to me? We weren’t even allowed to go to his service because it’s my fault I called 911 trying to help him, if I wouldn’t of called 911 would he still be here today? Is he aware of how bad he hurt us when he did this?

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  19. Hi Michelle,
    Oh my poor sweet little heart. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you till you can’t breath. I am so so sorry for your loss.
    Listen to me my darling. Let me explain this to you the best can okay?
    Suicide fuckin sucks. It’s the worst thing that can happen to person ever. Murder isn’t as harsh because you know the person is going to a better place hand down. The tragedy ends suffering for their soul. With a infant or child death you know without a shadow of a doubt they were little Angels sent from whatever heaven or afterlife you believe in. It’s all the same. Kids, the disabled, the homeless, the mentally ill, murder victims, war victims, anyone who never got to live rich rewarding lives for one reason or another, all get to go to a beautiful place when their suffering ends.
    But with suicides, no one knows. No one is really sure.
    Is it hell fire and brim stone? or love and light?
    Well the truth is, it depends on the circumstances of their suicide.
    Did they kill themselves to end suffering? Be it mental or physical? If yes then yes they go to Love and Light.
    Was it a murder suicide? If yes then they get the hell fire and brimstone version. It is neither hell fire or brim stone but rather de evolving. The closer to the dark a soul goes the less of the light they get to see and everything in the Universe wants to get to the light.
    My point is, the cause of the suicide matters.
    In your case your man was suffering from a severe form of mental illness or break down.
    He was suffering. He chose to end his life. It was HIS choice but he wouldn’t be in trouble for that.
    He doesn’t fit the 3rd category which is ‘He was born with his compass set wrong’.
    It was his decision to do what he did and he will not want you to blame yourself.
    Whatever guilt you have taken on for his passing will have been resolved with him the second he heard your thoughts as you wrote this message to me.
    Spirit hear everything. They see everything. They know our thoughts, feelings, and emotions as we do.
    You basically just told him what his passing did to you and you released your burden by getting it off your chest which helps him and you in your evolution as Spiritual beings.
    So you can let go of that right now.
    Also, what happens to him next is his choice and in cases like his yes he will be reincarnated.
    But it is his choice to do so as fundamentally we are learning Souls and his life and death will have been chosen for the lessons it brings not just to him but to those around him as well. Not just loved ones but the police involved the witnesses, etc…..suicides are the biggest life lessons the living can face I feel.
    It’s the one death that leaves so many more questions than answers. It leaves an impact forever if the pain it causes isn’t resolved. Murder/Tragic death is the same. It leaves an impact felt for generations. But suicide often never ties up loose ends emotionally and psychically.
    Your boyfriend chose his death Honey, he made the choice to end it. But he chose to end it not being the man you knew. Everything that happened that night was his choice and his choice alone.
    The Police were right to protect you from seeing him because he wasn’t in his right frame of mind. It could of easily been a murder suicide and that’s when things would of turned bad for him. Being a trapped or dark energy is not a nice thing for an evolving soul to want to go through but they do it willingly because they know the lessons attached to it are too important to ignore.
    He has crossed over and will chose a new life to come learn from at some point after he is healed in Spirit.
    As for will you be together again, Yes, of course. Every time you sleep, every time you remember him your together. When we sleep we go meet up with our loved ones across all our lives. We are only in physical form as living souls for a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. It is essential for our Souls to reconnect every day. We need time out of our physical selves. It is why we sleep.
    Scientists have never understood the true nature of why we dream and need sleep but it’s because without it we can’t give our Souls a rest. We can’t reconnect with the light.
    But when you sleep you will be with him, even if you don’t remember. It’s the rule of Spirit.
    However, there are lessons in this for you too and I would advise you to listen.
    Firstly, if you end your life, you’ve done it for the wrong reasons and you will not go to the same place as him. Missing him is not an excuse to end your life. You would cause more suffering than it would end and you two would have to come back and coming back is not evolving. It drags it out. It wouldn’t help him at all for you to end your life because his death caused another.
    That de evolves him too. Life and everything we do in it is OUR choice. There is no fate.
    It all happens with and by our choices as we go along.
    The people in our lives choose to be a apart of the journey with us. Each one bringing it’s own set of lessons for our and their journey. No matter how big or insignificant their role in your life.
    But even if you never saw him again in your next life, or in his, you will always have your dreams.
    He wasn’t of a sane mind and you didn’t drive him to it. He drove himself.
    However, it sounds like you have trust issues you need to work on for future relationships and maybe his death was a lesson for you to get some help so you can treat your men with a little more respect.
    Whatever issues you had with trust weren’t his burden to bear, but yours. So please my Love, get help. Learn to let go of the fear that holds your heart and stops it from loving with complete and total trust.
    I don’t know if your expecting this kind of answer but I’m only ever going to be totally honest with you. I cannot lie and won’t.
    I speak only the truth. You need to get help to deal with all of this. Your soul has taken a huge blow, the impact of which will have long lasting consequences if you don’t.
    I suggest you start by sitting down and writing him a letter, or talking to him in your head and getting everything that is on your mind off it.
    Tell him how much it hurt that he did what he did, tell him how sorry you are, tell him you forgive him, ask him to forgive you etc….but get it out. It helps him trust me. The truth really does set you free, especially if your a Spirit.
    Then when your ready to let go burn the letter. Or have a good cry and get it out of your system. Don’t ever stop yourself from crying. It cleanses the soul. It stops things from building up inside.
    Emotions are release valves. Without them things build up and explode like a pressure valve being blown off when too much pressure builds up. We have been told to suppress emotions. Suddenly and especially if your male nowadays it’s seem as less masculine to have feelings and emotions. So they get bottled up until it becomes too much but we should be allowed to get angry or be sad the second we feel that emotion.
    So don’t stop your hurt. Let yourself hurt but with the view of healing as you go.
    If you go down his path it takes you on a whole different footpath to his and you have things still to do here anyway. Only if you chose to die will you die. If your death wasn’t followed through with conviction it doesn’t matter what you did, you wouldn’t die only draw out your suffering.
    So my advice to you my Darling is, feel the pain your going through and let yourself heal. In time he will come to you.
    In time he will make amends for what he did. That is his journey, not yours.
    You will now walk together on different paths that run along side each other hand and hand. You do that with everyone you meet in your life. And I mean everyone. If you have spoken to them or looked at them, you chose to interact in this life for a purpose known only to you both.
    Everyone in our life and in our dreams are like actors all playing roles integral to your movie (journey). All choosing to play those roles. No one is in your life by chance.
    So take this journey you had with him and learn from the lessons that came with it. Use it to help not just you grow but him as well.
    It helps the healing for both of you. I promise you with every fibre of my being.
    He is at peace, you need to be as well.
    This was a tragedy. Nothing more, and it sucks. It really fuckin sucks. But at the end of the day, it as his choice. Not yours.
    You have nothing to feel guilty about. Just try to learn to heal from it and make sure when you deal with another relationship you don’t make the same mistake twice.
    Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me right? (I changed it a little).
    I wish you nothing but love and light my Sweet Soul. I am so very sorry for your loss.
    But your going to get through this, with hi by your side.
    He is so ashamed of his behavior but he isn’t sorry he loved you.
    Addiction is evil. It destroys so many souls. We need to remove the need for substance abuse before we deal with the effects of it because then one won’t exist without the other.
    Your heart will heal over time but please my love. Talk to someone. Get help.
    Joining him will only make it 100 times worse for you, not him, but you. You don’t want that, trust me.
    De evolving isn’t good thing, not even for the darkest souls.
    Follow the light. Always have faith and take one day at a time. With every passing day, comes light.
    I wish you all the best in this life Michelle.
    You owe it to you and him to live the best one you possibly can. Life is a gift, its why we chose to live them.
    Don’t throw it away or you’ll get caught up and tangled in the wrapping.
    Love and Light always
    Mama
    xoxoxox

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  20. I came here because I am battling major depression and I just can’t deal anymore. I came to find out if I’d be alright if I’d follow through with my thoughts. Everything is too much. I can’t do this anymore.

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    • Why? Talk to me. Your name is Phoenix which means in spite of it all you can rise from the ashes. You taking your life wouldn’t solve everything. The way to beat your despair is to confront the problems head on now while your here so your Spirit can be free in the next stage of your evolution. You’ll only be made to examine and relearn everything in the next dragging your evolution out. So talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Talk to me. I love you even if you don’t love yourself right now and I always will. Love and Light, Mama xoxo

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      • That’s so similar to what my mum always said Debbie. She used to say running away from your problems by committing suicide is useless, because you will still have to deal with them in a following life. Even though it seems the easiest option to let go of this life, in the end the easiest option actually is dealing with your issues now.

        Phoenix please don’t give up just yet and talk to Debbie about everything that is going on. I know she can give you the answers you need to make an educated decision of what you want to do. And not only her, but this entire community is here to listen and love you.

        big hug xx

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  21. Thank you Debbie for all that you do. I stumbled upon your site b/c I am looking for answers. My coworker overdosed , still not sure if it was accidental or not as she has been addicted to prescription drugs for many years. Everything does point to suicide however. Everyone was shocked but not surprised. The day before her wake I had a dream that she was curled up on a couch and it was very dark. On a love seat beside her an old friend of mine from many years ago was smiling at me. And he was glowing like a television that the color was turned up. He didn’t say anything to me but i new he was hear for my coworker. I asked her if she new Mike (my old friend) She shrugged and would not look or acknowledge me or him. I awoke very quickly. Of course I fell back to sleep and when I woke up I asked my self why I would dream of my old friend Mike who I have not hung out with or seen for over 10 years. I moved out of province and life as usual went on. I had a feeling that morning that Mike was there to help my coworker and I googled his name and sure enough he passed away in 2006. I am thinking it was an overdose as donations were to be made to a narcotics foundation. I had no idea he had passed, but new in that dream. My question is why was she in darkness? Was he there to help her? Does she know she is passed?

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    • Hi Jenny,
      Listen to me, she doesn’t need help. I promise. Her being in the dark is just a reflection of you not knowing how she died. ‘Being kept in the dark’ so to speak.
      Nothing more. The fact she came to you indicates she has crossed over and is at peace with her passing. So please stop worrying. He would of been there to show you, it IS Spirit and not a dream. Two for the price of one.
      Just say Hi next time. You can totally talk to her now in your dreams if you remember you can.
      I’m so sorry for your loss.
      Love and Light
      Debbie
      xoxo
      Sure your not psychic?

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      • Debbie, I am not sure what is going on with me. When I was 10 years old my grandmother committed suicide. I have dreamt about her twice and I know they were visitations, the first was an embrace, the second she asked me to help my sister, and I did of course. I also had another suicide victim come into my dream not someone I was close with but my best friends uncle and he interrupted my dream and said Hi asked me how I was and was gone , and I resumed my dream right where I left off lol All these years I always told myself just a dream even though they amazed me and I hoped they were real. This time, this dream, I felt like I had the evidence I needed to know it was real. I had no idea he had passed until that dreAm. I did try to talk to my coworker in this dream she would not acknowledge me. I think I panicked at that point in my dream because I made my self wake up. How do you get past that fear? I felt like I was going to scare her if I kept trying to talk to her and that scared me. Also I have never had anyone come to me in a dream that passed normally it has always been tragic.

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  22. Hi Debbie,

    Sunday will mark three months since my dad died by suicide. I found your site soon after he died. The past three months have been hell and I am having such a hard time moving forward. I’m not angry at my dad, I am extremely sad that he was in so much emotional pain, most of which was caused by my mom. My biggest hang-up is that I worry constantly that maybe he didn’t realize my loyalty was always to him. I had no idea how bad it had become with my mom until after he was gone. If I had known I would have tried to help him more than I did. I feel so much guilt and I also feel like I’m probably driving him mad with the amount of worry and sadness I am hanging on to. How can I know for sure that he knows I would have done anything for him and that cutting my mom from my life isn’t about revenge – it’s about not standing behind people that treat others the way she does. I don’t want him to be upset thinking it’s his fault – thats how he is – always trying to do right by everyone else. I think this world was just too cold for his loving heart and spirit.

    Sorry for rambling.

    Thank you,
    Lisa/RJ

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  23. Hi there,
    It has been 1 year 7 months and 23 days since my sister left me but it still hurts like that moment we heard she was gone. I know I said she left me but it feels like just me because I’m self indulgent and selfish I guess but I we had a special connection. I always felt that our souls were joined, connected… it’s crazy I know but she wasn’t just my earth sister, she was my soul twin.
    I’m surrounded by those that love me but I feel lonely without her here.
    I know her soul was paining and hurting. I know she tried so very hard to stay with us, for us. She fought a hard, long battle. I know she was too good for this world and abused by many. I understand that she couldn’t’ stay for us anymore and I forgive her and want her to be free, I want her to be happy and if I know she is happy I will be learn to be happy again as well.
    I get angry sometimes because she left my mom without her favourite daughter, I’m not good enough to fill the gaping hole inside my mothers heart. She left my darling daughters with out their beloved godmother and aunt and my husband without his sister-in-law whom he adored and she left us in a place that is broken beyond repair. No special occasion can ever be truly special again. We are broken without her.
    She took her own life in the early hours of 26 March 2015. I’m not sure when she passed away but I feel that it is shortly after 3am, it stands out in my mind and that is usually the time I wake up in the morning almost every morning.
    I have a million feelings of despair, anguish and guilt but what stands out most of all is that I feel cold and lonely when I think of her going on into the next life… because I know how cold she must have felt in her car in the dark, how lonely her soul and heart must have felt. I think her decision to go was made a few weeks prior, I just don’t understand why she lied to me when she told me that she would see me and my girls on the weekend if she knew she was leaving us.

    I have had a roll coaster of emotions since the moment I found out she was gone and today I am so low that I am searching the internet for answers. Your website gave me the most comfort I have ever felt. Thank you for this. I’m going to print this out for my mom so that she may too find comfort in your words.

    I wasn’t there for her in her final hours even though I knew something wasn’t quite right. Her last chat with me via whatsapp was strange as it said “I love you, in this life and the next”. I didn’t do anything about it. I was dog tired. I have never been so tired in my life. All I wanted to do was sleep so the little warning light triggered by that message was dimmed too the extend that it didn’t wake me up enough to tell me that she is in trouble. That she isn’t in a good space again. I know she has said those words to me, many, many times in the past but that night it made me feel uneasy. I didn’t pay head. I lost her.

    I also, for the first time ever in my life, muted my phone so that it didn’t wake me up. My need for a decent night’s sleep was more important than my sister’s silent cry for help. This meant I missed her suicide sms that come through to me at 12:09am and her phone call at 12:21am. If I had seen that message at 12:09, I would have known where to go to find her. I would have gone to her and taken her to hospital. I think the phone call she made to me was to ask for me help because she realised she made a mistake and wanted to reverse her decision but it was too late for her to drive herself to hospital and I have, out of my own selfishness put my phone off to get some sleep. I will never, for as long as I live, forgive myself for being so selfish. The sickest thing is that I have never slept so well in my entire life. That night was the best sleep ever. It, as a matter of fact, was also the last night I slept well or more than 3 hours. I know have what I call “the morgue face” keeping me awake at night.

    Whenever I get tired, that face comes to me, night after night and sometimes when I’m really lucky, I fall asleep with the light on in my husband’s arms and don’t have the morgue face to deal with until about 2am.

    I used to get little feathers falling at my feet all the time. I used to smell her everywhere. I used to see her in other people’s faces. I used to hear her laughter. Now I am left with chasing her shadows. Trying to see her in everything but too scared to connect with her in the early hours of the day due to the fear of seeing her morgue face, or to see her crying eyes. I’m also petrified of the dark so you can imagine how much fun I have between 2am and 6am.

    On the 1 year anniversary of her death I thought I had a connection with her. It felt so real but I don’t know if it really was her anymore. My dog woke up and looked up at what looked like nothing and wagged her tail. Then my dog came to me and wagged her tail, turned on her heels and went to that spot to again and wagged her tail at something. She then went to lie in her bed again. I felt something on the bed. I asked in my mind if it were her. I felt a gentle pressure on my wrist and then it was gone. Just like that. That was also the last time I felt her around. I burn a candle for her whenever I feel she is sad or I am sad and I burn incense for her whenever I feel sad, or I miss her or feel that she needs “help”… don’t know if this makes sense but I feel that sometimes I need to burn something for her. My daughter misses her dearly. She is only 7 and cries for her a lot. We talk about her all the time and when she feels sad, we also burn a candle and burn incense and we think good thoughts of her for her, to wish her love and light on her journey. I was never really very spiritual although my sister used to tell me all the time that I am gifted. I’m afraid to be too close to the spiritual world because of everything I feel sometimes.

    I don’t know why I am writing to you. I just wanted to tell you about my sister I guess. I wish I could know for sure that she is ok on the other side. That she is at peace. I love her so much. I miss her so much that it is a physical pain but I want nothing but peace and love for her.

    Anyway this is my story. I just wanted to share this with you. Your reference about suicide made me want to connect with you and it gives me hope for my sister’s eternal peace and her soul.

    Thank you for the wonderful work that you do. Your soul is beautiful.
    H x

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  24. My son killed himself July 2014 he was 28 and I agree with everything you said. I do admit that some days are hard. Since Kyle’s death we have experienced AMAZING paranormal blessings ! Thank you for you post I know this really helps grieving families.

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    • From birth, I don’t ever remember a time when I couldn’t see or feel them, actually conversation came around the age of 11-12 that’s when I started studying it all. My students were opened through exercising their pineal gland and lots of hard work and practice.

      Like

  25. I feel like I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve to live or to be loved. Im just so sad, so lost and so lonely all the time. I’m a huge sceptic of all of this afterlife stuff but I can’t help but do research on what happens after death because I’m just so scared. I just want to die everyday. I’m 19 and I want to do it before I turn 20. It just feels like I can never be happy. I feel like a lost cause.

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    • Baby, listen to me. Life fuckin sucks sometimes, it’s a shit, lonely, hard, boring, exhausting, never ending battle some days and you just want to sleep and never wake up. I know, I’ve been there. When I was a teenager I’d even lay in my bed pretending to be dead just to see if that’s what it would feel like. I was fat for the most part, I felt like noone in my family understood me or even liked me, I was ridiculed all the time by the ones who were supposed to love me the most and regardless of how weird I was. But then I started to turn to the thing that made me weird, my brain, my thoughts, my mind, and my writing. I write poetry, nothing to publish, just love writing, and music and it started something in me that balanced me out. I’ve been lonely my whole life. None of my friends or boyfriend’s stuck around for long, I had my heart broken by my friends more times than I could count. I’d get told such hurtful things by members of my family and it left an indelible scar on my heart for decades.
      But amongst it all I had dreams to travel, see the world, and get to America. Then after I lost my sister to cancer when I was 18 I realized that life is too short and too fragile to take for granted. She was only 28yrs old and she never got to live a decent life so I decided ‘fuck it’ I’m gonna just be happy for me. And there became the journey that led me to you.
      Honey, I know it hurts but you ARE loved. There are people out there like me that genuinely love you. I’d give anything to be sitting in front of you right now holding you around my arms and I mean that with all my heart. You are a beautiful soul with a kind heart who just needs someone to hear your heart beat and I do. I hear it. You just need someone to hear it. I am here for you. There are people around you that would live a dying existence if you went back home and left them. Just because someone broke your heart, just because someone let you down, or doesn’t’ get you’ doesn’t me everyone won’t. You just need to reward yourself the chance to find the right people. It is trial and error is life. Sometimes you’ll fuck it up royally but when you get it right there is nothing like it. Spring mornings with the cold frost and dew on the ground is pure heaven. The smell of fresh bread, a snuggle by a fire on a cold wet or snowy day watching a movie you love, being toasty in bed with fresh linen and clean pjs on, listening to your favourite album ( I don’t know if you kids still call them albums but records and cassettes were all I spent my babysitting money on until I was old enough to spend it going out lol) eating your favourite meal when your starving, taking a pee when your busting, the feeling of sand between your toes, the sound of the birds in the trees, the feel of a kittens fur on your hand, the thrill of a good book you can’t put down, landing in a country you waited months or years to see that you worked hard to save for, seeing something famous for the first time like Edinburgh Castle or Big Ben etc…..I could go on and on but these are all things you could be doing that you don’t need anyone else for to feel good. But nothing beats being in love. Love gets you up in the morning, love drives you to work long hours for or work off your ten bums for, but love comes in many forms my Darling. It doesn’t even have to involve other people. But you ARE loved. And if you want to end it, I can’t stop you, if it’s in you to do it you will but please, before you do, if you do promise me you’ll try to absorb the rich tapestry that is life first. Experience just a fraction of what I’ve mentioned or create your own list and give some of them a go. Try and make amends, make peace with your life so you don’t get stuck having to fix it in the next. Suicide takes a lot out of Spiritual souls and the impact is felt for a long time afterwards. So give your Spirit the respect it deserves of living life to the fullest so if you do decide to go home you know in your heart you tried. Trust me, it makes a huge difference in the next existence. You won’t sit on a cloud being judged by a man with a beard, you become a conscious energy that perfects itself constantly. And you’ll make yourself come back to perfect it for as long as you need to, in order to get it right, so why don’t you just get it right now in this life so you don’t have to come back next time? Your life is whatever YOU want it to be. If you don’t like something about it, change it, you have the power, we all do. You have hopes and dreams, so why don’t you live them? Your not a lost cause, your a lost soul and all energy is magnetic and compasses are based on magnetic energy so you just need to follow your compass to find what does make you happy. It brings you balance my love, trust me. You might feel out of sorts now but it’s just because you don’t award yourself the pleasure of following your heart. It doesn’t matter what people think, your not in this life for them your in it for you. Live your life for you and be happy, live your life for others and they’ll be happy. There is nothing in the afterlife that says you have to even conform to the idea of what is normal. I’m as weird as hell, intact most of the people who do love me think I’m bat shit crazy, but I’m happier now marching to the beat of my own drum than I ever was listening to someone else’s band. And it took me a long time to find true love and good friends but see my life now? It was worth waiting 40yrs for. My students are my family, my best friends Cill, Chris, Joanne, are my most trusted companions, my fiance is finally a man who ticks all my many boxes. My children are my sunrise and sunset and it was a hard slog finding them all but they’re all people I found on my journey of self discovery who I now simply couldn’t live without. They embrace my insanity and even join in on the crazy lol my point is, I found my north with these people. It took a while but I finally found them and they were worth every tear I she’d, every fear I felt, every rocky road I walked down because I turned my hurdles into stepping stones and setbacks into challenges. Because I didn’t want to leave this world having never tried. Because I know it’s better to try and fail at life than never to try at all. Tomorrow is always another day baby. Tomorrows are always do overs. Please try, just a little, try a little of everything you’ve always wanted to try then at least you’ll take new experiences with you. The human experience is the whole point of our existence as Spiritual energy. We’re the only ones out there who have the human experience. Just please, experience life. What your living now isn’t a life it’s an existence. Your not living your surviving and I really want you to live. Please email me. Please let’s talk. I’m crazy but I’m not insane I’ll love you so hard you’ll suffocate in it lol I’ve adopted many lost souls on my journey. I always have room for one more. I was born with long arms and broad shoulders specifically for hugging the entire world so come sit between my boobs along with my other adopted souls and get a big ole Mama Bear hug on. I’m called Mama Bear for a reason. I’ll love and protect you with my giant fluffy self but hurt my cubs and I’ll rip your arms off and beat you with the stumps lol please my darling, talk to me. You don’t need to use names, use a fake email even, I don’t care, just talk to me. You owe it to yourself to try and now you have someone out there who loves you the mostest so you owe it to me too now so no pressure lol but I’ll be watching for you in my email debbiedakiwi@gmail.com
      It doesn’t hurt forever when you look forward but to end it all makes the hurt last forever. You ARE loved. Your not scared of dying baby, your scared of living and that’s okay, it just means your just haven’t found the right life to live yet but your still so young, you have your whole life ahead of you to find the right life for you. But each journey starts with a single step so how about you take my hand and I’ll walk this journey with you? And I have a family of students who would want to walk with you too. So see…..Your not alone, you just weren’t looking in the right place. I am light, we are light, and we will light up even your darkest days if you give me the chance because I owe it to you to at least try. Right?
      I surround you with nothing but love and light and I really hope you reach out or at least smell some fresh bread and feel the sand between your toes if even just once.
      Don’t be scared Baby, Mamas got you now. Your always home with me. I promise.
      I love you always and forever
      Mama Bear
      Xoxo

      Like

    • Oh my Darling, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. But I’m so touched you took the time to write. If you ever need your son my Love just remember him. He’s right there I promise.
      My love and light to you always. Its a real privilege to me to be able to help in some small way although I wish I didn’t have to write these articles in the first place. But here we are. I’m just so glad I can help anyone in grief regardless of what side of death they are on.
      I’m here Mike.
      Love and Light always
      Debbie
      Xox

      Like

  26. My son left me on Dec 31 2016….it was a self inflicted gunshot…I had spoken with him half hour before I found him. Life as I knew it ended and I have yet to find any part of that new normal that people tell me I need to find.

    My son was a vibrant well loved young man and he was doing so good for himself….I was so proud of him and told him that often….so yea I do ask myself 24/7 “why Mick why?” I have tried to let him be at peace but the tears and pain seem to get in the way of my efforts.

    You article helped somewhat and heck maybe writing that letter you mention doing will be something I will work at being able to get done.

    Like

  27. I’m wondering if a young teen 16 slit her wrist in the bathroom bathtub, could still live wondering around this house ,back in the 1950’s ? My stepdaughter saw her in the up stairs apartment, she no longer lives there, but my daughter who is 38 does. My granddaughter hears her name called and hears someone saying her name Layla. We are Christians wondering what should we do.Brandi my daughter had a dream that she was praying told the spirit to go to the other side and she jumped on her. Please give me some insight. Thank you for sharing your information. Sincerely Jennie Guido

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    • Hi Sweetheart, it sounds to me like this poor girl is trying to reach out for help.
      You need to cross her over my Sweet. She’s coming to you for a reason. To help, for help,? Either way she needs crossing over. I have a post teaching you how to do it.
      Called How to Release Trapped Spirits. Its here. https://debbiedakiwi.com/2013/07/18/how-to-release-a-trapped-spirit/
      Let me know if you need help.
      Salt your thresholds too and then re center the energy in the house or sage it.
      I’d re center personally using a bell and pendulum. If you’d like to know how I’d be happy to show you how. Email me at debbiedakiwi@gmail.com
      Its great for if your mood is off or your feeling discombobulated, confused, tired, worried, run down etc…..and great for changing energy back to balance and centered.
      This will help you all and her especially.
      Love and Light
      Debbie
      Xox

      Like

  28. I disagree.
    Some souls are meant to end their lives as part of their soul contract.
    I’ve had two near death experiences and told I’m a Lightworker…who can like me, end up breaking under the extreme grief and pressure of helping others work out their negative karma and darkness.
    I’ve had so much heartache due to continuous abuse and scapegoaiting, I tried to end my life twice, it’s been so horrible.
    After three straight years of absolute hell, after a corrupt judge took away my abused traumatized children and rewarded my abusive psychotic ex with full custody, as I’m shamed, berated and falsely accused of everything imaginable…..losing everything….even my insurance and having an incurable rare spinal disease….I’m done,
    I cry every night for hours, the depth of grief in my chest, body, mind, soul, is like a tremendous weight, crippling me so I can’t function….it’s not worth it anymore.
    There’s a limit to what a soul can take, and despite my constant prayers and requests for spiritual insight, the pain and circumstances only worsen.
    I’m leaving this plane.
    It’s TOO much.

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  29. This really makes sense in every way , I have always believed in afterlife and always wondered about where we go and what’s happens , your doing amazing helping people and spirits

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    • I’m so so sorry for your loss.
      Whatever his reason, I guarantee you he won’t feel the same now. I hope you can forgive him so you can both move on and evolve. I’ve lived with a suicidal soul but luckily mine didn’t take that next step.
      I wish you a safe return to happiness and my heart is with you during this painful time.
      Love and Light, a Big Mama Bear hug
      Mama
      Xox

      Like

      • Thank you for the beautiful article and confirmation of my beliefs. My beautiful 17 year old son choose self death 9 weeks ago. While some days I have great strength today was hard. I have offered forgiveness and honoring his life every day.

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      • Hi Julie,
        I’m so sorry for your loss. Your living my worst nightmare.
        As a parent it’s unnatural to bury a child.
        Just try to find comfort in the facts that death is only hard on the living.
        And the wisest souls choose the shortest journey.
        I wish you nothing but light from this day forward my Sweetest Heart.
        And thank you for sharing your wisest soul with the world.
        The world is richer for people like you in it.
        Selfless and humble.
        May love and light surround you.
        Debbie
        Xox

        Like

  30. Are you a median? I’m just interested in how you know so much, and in great detail too! I’ve been struggling with some traumatic stuff and Im really not sure how to move forward but after reading this, I was somewhat comforted.

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    • Hi Alan, I know so much because the dead themselves teach me and the rest is observation.
      But I’m so glad our words are of comfort to those who need it.
      Look forward with light my love. That is all our loved ones see.
      I promise.
      Love and Light
      Debbie
      Xox

      Like

  31. After reading this like many of us on here I am amazed at your words and the way your words made me feel somewhat at peace with what is going on in my life. I lost my niece almost 7 months ago on October 24, 2017 and now on may 8th 2017 I lost my brother(her father) to suicide as well. I am/was so angry with my brother because i felt like he lied to me after my niece passed and sayed it was getting a LITTLE better but how could that be possible when i knew it was impossible to live like that when i seen the pain and sadness in his eyes. So reading this how could i be mad or want hom here when it was impossible. I am hurt and i am so sad for the lost of both of my loves but reading this i now see this in a whole different way, never have i heard of the afterlife or after affects of death/suicide explained like this. Thank you so much for posting this and for giving family members like me another comforting view of this horrible situation. I have a question, you were stating that we have to be able to forgive and let go so they can be truly happy and free? Does this need to be true for everyone involved? If some family members are still holding on and not forgiving will they be stuck here, so to speak?? I know you are busy, so when/if you can respond I’m grateful for it. Also thank you so much for your post, this is so soothing to my spirit and even though I’m not in thr best of spirits this give me hope that the both are finally happy and together again.
    Love and light back to you
    Desiree D.

    Like

    • Hi Desiree, thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry it took me a few days to reply. I needed to wait for the right words to say. I don’t want to get this wrong for anyone reading this.
      Firstly, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain your family and yourself are going through. Your Brother was just devastated but said that he wanted to be with his daughter, he was afraid she’d be lonely because he didn’t understand how it worked. But she was the first one by his side and he was happy until he saw what he’d done to everyone else so now he’s determined to make it up to those he hurt. He has to. A Spirit won’t allow themselves to walk away from such devastation without their being lessons involved. The human experience is there most crucial experience for a Spirit. It unlocks world’s unimaginable to the living until we get there and see why they do it.
      But in all honesty, (and I’ve grappled with whether to be honest or not or on it certain things from this conversation but have been told tell only the truth).
      If the living can’t move past a suicide in forgiveness then they too can’t move forward. It’s not for them to forgive, you can be angry and not forgive a loved ones suicide but it stunts your growth as well as theirs in Spiritual. It’s unfair I think because we’re expected to be the better ones Spiritual but as your brother puts it, ‘its not really about forgiving us, but trying to understand why we did it because with the human experience also comes the human suffering’. And thats the bit we the living need to focus on. Why? Most suicides honestly, are understandable. You think ‘Well!!!!! I kinda of expected that to happen’.
      There are two types of living dead. Those who turn their clocks off and bring about their death and those who leave it to fate.
      Those who leave it to fate are the majority. But those will turn their clocks off are the ones who choose when to die. From someone getting behind a wheel that crashes to a cancer patient diagnosed then dies a week later to a suicide. They’re examples of those who turn the clock off.
      We don’t HAVE to forgive, but it helps to try and understand their human experience. Most parents want to join their kids in spirit because they have this fear that their child is alone in the dark or stuck in a box in the ground. It’s more common than not.
      But he said his problems were around long before his girl crossed over. He said he was good at hiding it and he’s so sorry he did. He just felt you all had your thing going on and didn’t need to worry about him. He didn’t want his problems to be yours or anyone elses. You all had enough on your plate. Which to me means he was hell bent either way. Those who mean it don’t seek help.
      He hurts my stomach. My ribs and stomach hurt. Like I’ve been slammed against something and gravity took over. I don’t know what this feeling is to be honest.
      He said keep talking to him. He loves it. He wants to thank you for at least accepting what his daughter did. He knows it hurts but it’s better people get upset with him. He’s very protective of her. She’s standing with her hands up in the air like a ‘Daaad!!! I can take care of myself’ pose and then she is smiling and through her arms around his waist and hugging him tight. She’s standing next to him, arms around his waist and but standing on his right side. His arm is around get. He told her she always was a pain in his ass then kisses her forehead. She’s giggling and hugging him tighter lol she said ‘only because I take after you’. And they’re laughing.
      They’re happy. They’re together and now they wait until everything is sorted. But please remember all debts are settled after death, if not in life and time means nothing to Spirit. 100yrs to us is seconds to them if they want it to be so please don’t think they sit under a tree until we die. They’ll be off having other lives, new adventures, they just can’t evolve to the next level until their debt is settled and do you know the coolest thing? In all my years of talking to the dead I’ve never seen a suicide in the darker lights of the Spiritual spectrum who didn’t murder as well. Which means ALL suicides are forgiven. Which means your family if not now in this life WILL forgive them in the next. Because you share experiences, learn and understand, then move on.
      It goes something like this.
      ‘So, Dan…..you killed yourself and you really made me suffer. I want you to know how it felt’
      Dan says to Eric ‘Im so sorry Eric, but please let me explain this experience I had as your brother. I had debts, depression and questioning my faith and sexuality, the pressure I put on myself was immense but I really felt like in this life I needed to learn to appreciate life from a more introspective point of view. I’m truly sorry brother, it was hard for me too’.
      It’s okay Dan, it hurt me because you didn’t even try to talk to me or anyone, you just decided to leave and not say goodbye, but I do know you’d battled depression​ since College. I’m sorry it was hard on you. I wish I could of helped’.
      You did help Eric, trust me and hey, listen your get now so are we cool Bro? Yeah Dan we’re cool. Thanks for choosing to be my little brother, you weren’t half bad as brothers go.’
      Oh you were absolutely 100% the worst brother Eric hahahaha Your an asshole Dan!!! Hug!!! Mum and Dad, others join in on the hugs.
      Come on Eric let’s go……Eric says to Dan, ‘wanna be my dog in this life? You can sleep on my floor and everything’ hahaha he laughs. Dan says to Eric ‘Hell no!!! I’m gonna come back as your wife and be super annoying like do you remember Susan Enderman? Oh my God bro how did you even cope with her? (Picture them walking away​ into clouds to be reborn or evolve)……….laughter then Dan says ‘ Actually….I think I’ll come back as your milk man and not deliver your milk’……. laughter………..tussling about……..stop and stare, smile, hug……fade out……move on or evolve and a whisper ‘See you on the other side Bro’ baby cries at instant of birth……Dan is now Lucy. Aaaaaaaaand scene!
      That’s an interpretation of what I was shown by Spirit in a lesson once. Lol but it’s just because they’re trying to show us that death is only hard on the living. To the dead, it’s just another adventure, another awesome lesson with friends and loved ones. But to Spirit their friends and loved ones are everyone taking part in the whole process as we are all one light in spirit.
      I really truly hope you don’t get upset by what I said. I’m trying so hard to be as honest in the most delicate way possible while maintaining integrity for those left behind and those who left.
      I say what I say with nothing but the utmost respect and love for all concerned. If I offend anyone it’s not my intention. I’m just trying to bridge the gap in understanding of life and death.
      I wish you nothing but love and light on your journey and I know your niece and Brother will be waiting with big Welcome home signs when it’s your time to go home.
      In the mean time, remember, they hear everything. They feel your every emotion, share your memories, know your thoughts, so think of them often, talk to them every day and never be afraid. It’s then a journey you choose to take together that lasts forever in all time. Death isn’t the end, it’s an evolution.
      Love and light to you my love.
      I wish I could hug you.
      Love always
      Mama 🐻
      Xox

      Like

      • That was fantastic, what a beautiful way to look at it. My incredible son Matthew turned off his clock a few months ago. Forgiveness is key to healing. Love and light to all.
        Julie

        Like

  32. Yes, those of us considering the big S, do feel trapped and joyless. Think of no longer being able to feel joy, happiness, involvement, excited, passion etc. This is what coming to the end of this life means to those that purposefully end they’re life that others see as liveable. Do you get it? There is no reason to be here anymore for us, understand? It is time to transition to a place we hope is better, for nothing is worse than feeling no happiness anylonger. We may have done all we wish to do or lost our Soulmate, the reasons are legion, but inside we understand it is the only choice for us. No matter what psych meds they want us to take, in our hearts we know when it is time too crossover. It is our decision, no one elses, and perhaps it is even ordained by God. And those left behind to go on without us, I pray you never suffer the feeling of losing all that makes you happy. Thank you, a lonely Soul.

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  33. Hi Debbie, I need to hear your thoughts. I will email you because I’ve been up against it the last 3 years and can’t seem to find a way out. I’ve been trying so hard to heal but have been getting worse. I will email you now.

    Like

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