Today, I found out, I can no longer be friends with my clients. I discovered that no matter how hard I work, I will never be enough for some people and I’ve been left feeling confused, upset and sad.
A few weeks ago I got contacted by someone wanting a reading. Who seemingly was so pleased with what I was offering they wanted their husband read and then her best friend. I started feeling like I’d met a kindred soul. They were so much like my husband and I but they had all this untapped potential.There was something there with the both of them and when they asked me to Mentor them I was shocked and nervous, scared and excited. Were these people going to be the first to learn everything I had been taught. Sure I’d helped people in the past but never had I wanted to sit and teach someone to ‘Hear the Universe’ as much as I wanted to teach this couple. I agreed to Mentor them and we had our first session last week. They were like sponges. I felt like ‘If anyone was going to really listen to what was being said it was these two’ then 4 days ago I was approached by a young man who has such a strong gift he is almost hounded by the Spirits who surround him and he asked me to mentor him also. I took this as a sign maybe this was the time I start teaching because my teacher always said I would end up teaching. Now I didn’t see any harm in this because it was A Couple Who wanted to bring out and enhance anything they had there and or laying dormant for the purposes of guiding and healing others verses a young man who wants to understand how not to be afraid of his gifts and learning to ‘Read’ for people so he can help them and guide them using pure Psychic ability, like I do.
Well apparently I offended my couple by saying this when I did the survey on ‘Would any be interested in taking classes and was it a good idea?’ because I then wake up this morning to a request from PayPal to return all the money they paid and a torrent of abuse and cruel remarks.
Upon trying to ascertain what I had done wrong I was told a few things which I would like to address publicly for the purposes of anyone else who is curious about me and what I do.
One of the things she kept saying was ‘I am a liar’ that what I say about them on my Blog is different to what I say in Private’. Well what did I say? I said they had no gifts per se but I’m charging them to enhance their gifts’ so I’m lying because she has gifts and her gifts are just as strong as her husbands and I don’t know what I’m talking about because she’s been seeing Spirits since she was a kid which I never mentioned.’ Okay so lets address this ‘She told me in one of her first emails, she was a Gypsy. Gypsies are psychic,it’s a known fact.I live in the UK where her Gypsy family are from, they run all the Psychic booths and shops and stalls. it’s a known fact. I had no need to mention it. When I said ‘they have no gifts per se’ I simply meant compared to my young man in Nevada who wants to be a professional Psychic and do readings for people,this couple were going to work together, one in a sort of healing role and the other in a more Spiritual, Emotional Guidance kind of way. Two very different roles, one requiring completely different skills and understanding that the other. They didn’t want to be trained to be a Psychic, they wanted to be trained to enhance the gifts they had which were for him Healing and Natural Telepathy and for her using her gift to Offer Spiritual Counseling or Offering Spiritual Guidance which is like a Therapist but using Spirits Guidance rather than a medical degree. So that’s what I meant.
The gifts that the couple have are for a different purpose than the young mans. Therefore requiring different lessons.
She said I am Ego driven and have no gift. I’m obsessed. All I do is talk about myself.
Well when you ask someone to teach you what YOU know, how can I not? I can’t teach you how I learned stuff without talking about how I learned them and how I used them. I don’t like New Age Spirituality, everyone knows this. I don’t like they can charge some poor soul the earth for a crystal when a rock from your garden does the same thing. It’s not the followers I get pissed off with, but those in the Industry who profit from it.
Everyone knows this. I swear, rant and I get annoyed. But she had lead me to believe we were becoming friends and I in my ‘Switched off’ mode tried to share my life with her as she had me’. Apparently I am not allowed to share stories of myself when trying to teach someone and befriend them.
As for the Ego thing, well it might be because I said I want to make enough money so my husband doesn’t have to work. So I can pay for Christmas myself and feel like I contributed something.
Let me explain: My husband suffers from crippling depression. It has taken a big strong beautiful man and turned him into someone I don’t recognize. Yet every day he gets up and goes to work to put a roof over out head. Not once complaining. I stopped work to look after him and then we had our boys. I am used to always taking care of myself. I’ve never been a big money earner. It’s not what I’m interested in. But I would like my husband to stay home and paint and take over as a Housewife so he can sleep in, and not worry about the bills for once. His depression was ‘Event based’ Which means it was an event that happened to him that triggered the depression. He becomes obsessed at times, pushing himself to the limit to earn so he knows at the end of the month he is covered. It breaks my heart. So yes I would like to make a decent enough of a living to let him give up and take care of himself emotionally and Spiritually. If we wanted to, we could both work and make so much money we could have savings and buy a house and that in our opinion would mean we were ‘Rich’ lol because having savings and buying a house seems to be The Dream every married could aspire to. I’ve never wanted fame, I could of, I’ve been asked to do stuff for TV and Magazines, but I’m shy, I’m nervous, self critical and can get defensive. It’s not nice, so I keep away. I don’t want to be rich, I just would like to make a living. I want to be able to contribute at Christmas and Birthdays because, well sometimes as a wife and Mother society doesn’t always think your contributing anything and your lazy and get to sit on your ass and shop. So I felt like I was doing well taking the pressure off my husband who always starts to tense up come Oct. Does that make me a bad person?
In essence what this woman did was go out for a meal, ask for seconds, then thirds, and then had a dessert and decided 8 days later she wanted her money back because the meal you gave her wasn’t up to her standards.
She didn’t like the fact that I said her husbands gift was stronger than hers. He has an incredible energy and could do wonders for people and animals especially. He is the one who I felt would get the most work because doing Healing is less scary to people than being read. Even people who don’t believe in the Paranormal will have Reiki and healing. Plus people know now that there is a connection between man and beast and if this man could tell clients what is wrong with their Dog etc…then people would pay for that.
She said she couldn’t understand how learning to read if a card is red or black would teach her to open her gift. Well if you’ve read my blog you know it is the first thing I do with anyone who is wanting to know how to focus on Spirits because guessing the colour is the first step in teaching you how to focus, tune in to your surroundings and also eventually fine tune your Telepathy skills.Telepathy is how Spirit talk to us. She had a week of lessons and was really looking forward to the lesson on Monday when all of a sudden she changed her mind.
She said she had something to teach me and I had lost my gift and was on the edge of darkness and I never responded to all her emails.
Well she did teach me something. She taught me, Never will I teach what I know to just anyone. It had never felt right until they asked me to. It made me so excited that while I wasn’t sure I had anything to teach I realized that I did indeed have a lot to teach. I had always doubted this since my teacher told me and when my young man asked me the other day I took that as a sign. Also I now will have to send a disclaimer with every reading I do so my clients know I won’t be able to enter into any sort of friendship with the people I read because it hurts when they stab you in the back. I know people will say ‘Didn’t you see it coming’ and I will say ‘Kind of but I didn’t think in a million years it would come from them’.
I feel dirty. I feel my need to want to be in a position to take the strain off my husband has given people the wrong impression of me. To be clear, I’m working casual/part time. You might pay $60 which is more than enough I think, but by the time that is converted into pounds it’s around £32. For 5 days work. I had told this couple that all services I provide from now on (Once they started being mentored) would be free. I said to make a donation on what you thought the services were worth. She paid, She got 7 days worth of services for less than £20 a day. Yes I would like to make more, but not at the expense of being away from my boys. Their education comes first so unless one of us is home for them and their schooling then I will never be working full time. However having said that I still work about 60 hours a week. Just not all for a fee. If I was earning what these Celebrity Psychics earned I would work for free. It’s a shame but I do have to charge a small fee for what I do.
She then added insult to injury by accusing me of being a Scam Artist and ‘I could be a Nigerian Scammer for all she knew’. She is one of only 3 clients to see my face, so she knows this isn’t the case. She said I was ‘probably trying to steal her identity as we speak’. So for every time I sat up emailing her to really late, I sat up to past midnight mentoring her and her husband, for every email she sent and I replied to before replying to even family members, what I was, to her wasn’t enough. She wanted in on my life but didn’t want to know about my life. She wanted to learn from me and what I knew but didn’t want practice the way I was taught. With the cards. And if any of you reading this have been one of the ones I’ve taught this technique to, you’ll know what I mean buy ‘It teaches you focus before it teaches you to communicate to Spirit. She said she knew everything I had taught her. So why ask for more lessons? She said She could learn what I taught her from any good web search. Why come to me then? I don’t get any of it.
I don’t get it.I don’t get any of it. Some have suggested maybe this was her intention from the start. But I hope not. I refuse to believe there are such horrible people out there who sit and pray on other peoples kindness. BUT it proves my point when I say ‘Everyone wants to learn what I know and do what I do but no one wants to do the work needed to learn it and the work needed is so easy but impossible for anyone not on a true path’. And if your intentions for this life aren’t honorable then I guess it’s not for you to learn.
I’m sorry, I’m sad and I’m angry. I’m sorry she misread my intentions and decided it was something it wasn’t, I’m sad I now am too afraid to want to Mentor anyone and I’m angry that after over 24 years of doing readings for people the way I have, I have to now change the way I do it. So now I have to put in conditions to my readings.
I should point out this woman asked for her month back 4 weeks after receiving her readings. She paid for three. All of which she got weeks ago. The last email I got from her was to say She was’ excited about her next lesson as she had so many questions and she might have to make an extra donation’. Even though I had told her ‘No more paying for anything, she was a student now and it was beyond paying for things’. 4 hours later she is complaining to PayPal.
Today is a sad day indeed. I am honestly broken. It might be a while before I write again. I think maybe I should go back to Beauty Therapy.