Do it for Love

John Lennon once sang ‘All you need is love’. And they killed him.
But his message while never forgotten, never reached all the ears that were meant to listen.The biggest lesson Spirit have taught me in the 42 years of my life is ‘If your not doing it for the love, your not doing it for the right reasons.’

People are suffering, suffering for their art, suffering for survival, suffering for their cause.
My husband works long hours, grueling hours, on his art because he loves what he does so much, he knows it is with the sacrifices.
I support him, even when I’m missing him, because I love him so much.
I’m not a Super Model, I’ve never been known for my looks but I’ve never been without a boyfriend or partner. I’ve always had a gift of knowing what a man wants.
Whatever he is into, I learn, so we have something to talk about.
All to often in my job I’ve had women coming to me for a reading wanting to know why the men they are with are no longer the men they fell in love with.
And the answer is always the same.
‘You dated a man you thought you could change and you ended up changing so much about him he is no longer recognizable.’
There are so many men and women who crush the Spirit of their partner when they see things in them they don’t like, then no longer recognize the things they saw in them they originally loved in the first place.
That isn’t love.
Love is worth hurting for. Love is with the sacrifices being made to be together.
My beautiful husband gets up every day to work his ass off so I can stay home and raise our boys.
I work part time, helping where I can but he takes all that pressure off me so I can concentrate on educating and nurturing our boys with the best life we can give them. Because he loves me.
He has endured 16 years of emotional bullshit, threats and abuse from his own family because he loves me.
He has given up all of his holiday days, sick days, and even lost wages taking unpaid leave to take care of me when I was dealing with all my health issues because he loved me.
People have divorced for less and it’s because none of those couples loved each other.
Not really.
Love is hard to get a hold of but once you have it, and I mean REALLY have it, the hard stuff doesn’t seem so hard.
Some one once said ‘True love is wanting to kill your partner but never going through with it.’ and with the exception of abusive behavior, most things our partners do to upset us are forgivable and can be worked on.

By abuse I mean, physical, mental, verbal, sexual, financial, etc….
If you have ever been in love, REALLY been in love you’ll know how much it hurts.
But Love can save the world. Love can stop wars. Love can change the entire way you see the world, the Universe and the Dead.

The reason why Spirit keep on at us even though we are idiots who run around with cameras flashing in their faces, and putting our hands through their energy is because they love us.
Even though we don’t give ourselves the time to get to know them, even though we might not or mostly don’t have any genetic history with that Spirit (meaning they might not be a family member or ancestor) put themselves through exhausting, and often time consuming, contact with us because they love us and want to guide us on our journey to becoming enlightened and happy Souls.

The same goes with our ‘Galactic Family’.
The reason they come to keep an eye over us because we are war mongering idiots who instead of allowing ourselves to educate, protect, nurture, heal and love each other and our beautiful planet we fight and steal, lie and cheat each other out of having Love. True Love.
Love really does make the world go round.
While Governments are threatening to shoot on sight, terrified refugees who were forced to flea their own countries because of the wars those very countries who want to shoot them created.

Yet among it are these beautiful, truly Spiritual souls who are offering, food and sanctuary to these refugees because they understand what it is we are all meant to be. It should be the first reaction we have when we see any living breathing soul in need to want to go to their aid and offering them help, or love.

We allow ourselves to be divided by the colour of our skin, by our religious beliefs, by the Uniforms we wear, by the money in our bank accounts and by the soil that lay under our feet at the time of birth.

But the truth is, this is ALL of our planet. No one owns this planet. It was given to all of us. The fact we need to ask for permission to travel from one bit of dirt to another is a slap in the face of everything we were given this planet for.

Our Creator gave us life, gave us birth, gave us all that we see because he was so proud of what he created he wanted someone to enjoy what he had created.
It would make no sense or serve no purpose to have all of this staggeringly beautiful Galaxy to have only one planet have life on it who then would have to wait millions of years for us to evolve enough to get off our asses and build a way of getting out into the Universe and explore it.

We drop bombs on each other because some people in a posh office decide the innocent men, women and children on a patch of soil are no longer worthy of standing on it.
We send millions and millions of people out onto the streets, often starving and in need of medical care and mental health protection because they don’t have enough paper in their wallets or digits on their banks computer screen to please a Fat Cat on millions a year in stolen, often illegal but most definitely sinful revenue who has decided you and your family aren’t worthy of life.

The Love of Money is the Root of all Evil. And it is true.
Spirit are like proud parents who want to give their children the best of everything. They WANT us to work hard and make a good living. They want us to be successful and have all the good things in life.
As long as what you do you do for the love of it and as long as no living being be it animal, mineral or vegetable have to suffer or sacrifice themselves for your success them Spirit support you every step of the way.

Yes Spirit have no concept of money nor do they have a need or want for it.
But we have allowed ourselves to be taken in to believing money is everything and it just isn’t.
Love is.
If you don’t love your fellow, if you don’t love this planet, you don’t love yourself.
The wealthy people of this world might like to believe they are envied and are powerful. They might like to believe there are people who want to emulate them and for the most part it is true.
There are plenty of people who want what they have. But what these people seem to forget is, if you remove your skin, we are all the same underneath.
If you remove the paper we are all the same in the cemetery.
However in Spirit the way your treated will be vastly different.

The more you love money, the more Souls who were sacrificed in order to make you wealthy and powerful on earth the worse you’ll be when your Spirit because you had no love for your fellow man.

The people who are sacrificed their homes, their health, their livelihoods and often families, because it was the right thing to do according to Universal Law will be the ones who are given the higher place in Spirit than the Donald Trumps of the world.

If you love yourself, you’ll love your fellow man regardless of colour or religion.
A man who wears rags who shares his donated food or dollar with his fellow homeless brothers and sisters has more love and will be in a better position come the New Renaissance And the After Life than the man in the Rolls Royce who thought it was funny claiming ‘Nothing smaller than a hundred’ to the man in the first place will.

We must ALL learn to be more Empathic. And not the Empathic that drives me insane lol the ‘Oh I’m so sensitive to Spirit and the energy around me’ bull shit. I mean ‘Empathic’…. As according to the Oxford Dictionary.

Which says: People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’ whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune’. Empathy hurts you to witness as much as the person your witnessing. You suffer the emotional highs and lows with the man or beast. And it can take days even weeks to get over something.

I know I say all the time it is my least favourite gift because I’m constantly in floods of tears for someone or some thing I’ve never met before.
It’s not just negative or unpleasant stuff either because I will cry seeing moments of great joy as well.
Like my favourite YouTube clip of the dog that see’s her Papa for the first time in 2 years having spent the time apart because Papa was in the US Military.
This Dog howls, and screams and cries so much, it’s hysterical out pouring of love almost makes the poor beast pass out.

THAT is Love.

You only get one chance at this life. What you do next, all depends on what happens to you when you die.

If your chasing the money to be rich, and not because you enjoy the job. If you buy the house or shoes you can’t afford to be like everyone else, if you take a life because the person in the shell represented someone or an ideal you found offensive, if you endure a relationship that is so toxic, negative and or dangerous because they are hot and look good on your arm, or because they are rich and can give you an easier life, if you destroy or remove someone or some thing from it’s domicile so you can have the land or money from renovating and flipping the house for profit, if you walk past a homeless person whether they are a drunk or not and you don’t help them, if you find their presence an inconvenience to you, if you find the homeless animals and humans who eat from the bins in our neighbourhood an embarrassment or worse if you’ve ever abused, insulted or worse to them because they offended you with their mere existence then you have never known and will never know the true meaning of love.

Love isn’t just about having a partner you have great sex with, or who buys you nice things who makes our friends envious and who can give you a dream wedding.

Love isn’t about putting yourself and your parents in debt for tens of thousands of dollars/pounds for the perfect wedding and if you had your dream wedding where you got everything you wanted and it cost so much your still paying it off years after you were married then I’m sorry but you didn’t marry for love.

The truth of the matter is, it shouldn’t matter where you marry them. The wedding is supposed to be about the union of two families coming together to celebrate the union between the Bride and Groom, or Bride and Bride or Groom and Groom.

It shouldn’t be about how much they spent on flowers and whether the bride managed to talk her parents into buying her the dress she wanted that was over her budget allowance.

Marriage was originally a business deal between two Tribal members as a show of trust and partnership.

Nowadays it’s seem as a show of often non existent wealth and to be frank…………gluttony. You invite people who ordinarily you’d never have a lot to do with outside of family gatherings so you can show off your wealth under the guise of Love.

When in fact what you should be doing is gathering your nearest and dearest to celebrate the union between two people who love each other.

All the money you could save by exchanging vows in a garden and having a BBQ or supper then having a shin dig in a hall somewhere could go on the honeymoon of a life time. Making memories and having experiences to live your entire marriage by would be so much more worth it than wearing a designer gown your never going to wear again and more than likely one day will look back on with hate and regret because you realized you married the wrong person.

Marriage is such a special union very few are mature enough to enter into. Marriage is about going to hell and back with each other for. Making sacrifices for each other. Having each others backs in the good time and the bad. Marriage is about never having to explain yourself because without saying a word your partner understands why you said or did what you said or did. Marriage is the perfect embodiment of what Love really is all about if it is shared by two people who understand the true meaning of the word.


It’s about being there without being asked to be there whether it is being there for your spouse, or a stranger.

Love is saying ‘No I will not fight for you or anyone else unless’

We are living in countries where our leaders are systematically slaughtering human and animal beings because of oil, money and power in the exact same ways the Jews were persecuted in WW2 yet no one is stopping it.

What we are allowing to happen to the poor Syrians in Europe is exactly what happened to the Jews. Yet it seems to be for the most part acceptable. Why is that?

Are people so insular now they are refusing to see we are walking right into another World War? Our Governments would have you believe that Muslims are bad people just like how Germans were told that Jews were bad people not worthy of life. But what people forget it it’s not just Muslims who’s lives get affected by a war. This is NOT YOUR country. It is NOT yours or your Governments planet. It is OUR country and OUR planet. You do not own the soil under our feet and yet your happy to pay over half your wages to own some of it that at any moment the bank could refuse you the ownership of.

God created ALL things Equal. So why the hell are we allowing our brothers and sisters, our animals and trees, our lands and our oceans to be treated as though they belong to anyone other than all of us?

If you’ve ever said ‘These fuckin immigrants come here and take our jobs and buy our houses making everything too expensive for us to live in our own country’ then your an idiot. I’m sorry. But there is NOT one piece of land on this planet that wasn’t founded by immigrants.

We all came from Africa. Our African Grandparents traveled from Africa, up through Europe and across the oceans to find a home for themselves. There is no one on this planet that is 100% of anything other than Human. Yet we are prepared to indebt ourselves and fight for a bit of soil that belongs to all of us.

Is that what you think God wants? Is that Love? Love for your fellow man? Love for your Country? Love for your Planet?


Equality creates balance. Our Universe, our Spiritual Format, is ALL running in perfect order when we have balance.

Our Solar System reacts so much better when everything is in Balance.

Regardless of whether your God is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Jedi, Alien, A Tree or an Animal. It’s all the same to the person who believes.

God is LOVE. Love makes the Universe go round. It’s a fact.

We are ALL connected whether your an Ape on this planet, a bacteria on the Moon, a Being from another Galaxy, or a planet in our Galactic sky. The comets, the meteors, planets, beings, space dust, black holes, milky ways, in this Universe and the others, are ALL connected. We all were born from the one original source of life.

What we do to ourselves we do to them. What we destroy they suffer with, what we create they enjoy, what we invent they receive the benefits from and what we love creates a balance and calm they are attracted to.

They are NOT a threat or a danger to us regardless of what they might start saying. Project Blue Beam has been in the works for a long time and to prove I’m write I suggest for the next 8 weeks you watch the news articles going up on the Yahoo news website.

I’ve noticed that every day for the last 2 weeks the news is about the discovery of or existence of ‘Alien life’. And that is the basis or foundation for the start of Project Blue Beam. I know it sounds insane but it is true. I suggest you Google it.

What we have been fed about our ‘Intergalactic Brethren’ is all founded on stories, wild imagination and very carefully planned out plots and role playing games to fool the masses into believing that what is out there wants to hurt us and experiment on us sexually and mentally. Which is typical of us to make everything about sex and power.

But as with Spirit, they aren’t interested in us sexually. In no way shape or form. We are the only beings who have sex for pleasure. And sex does NOT mean love.

But I digress. I could talk for days about this stuff but I’m going off on a tangent.

The reason why our Galatic Brethren help us, why they have stopped missiles from being set off on ‘the enemy’ is because they love us.

We are compared to Spirit and them, the Babies of the Galaxy. They are trying to help us reach the level of Love and Understanding we need to get our shit together to join them up there. So that we too can Play among the stars.

But we will never be allowed to go near Space in it’s true glory until we can learn to love each other.

They are our Ancient ancestors and the only ones of us who seem to truly understand that they are our Ancestors are the Native Americans and other Indigenous peoples such as the Aboriginals and Maori. But none more so than the Native Americans.

This is why they don’t come down to speak to our Military leaders and Presidents. The first thing they would do is kill them, the second would be to steal their technology.

So they are waiting until we ALL get off our backsides and create Balance.

Don’t do it if it isn’t for love. When you do it for love your doing it for the entire greater good of your Spirit, your Ancestors and your Galaxy.

Any less of a reason isn’t good enough and you’ll never evolve while your doing it for any reason other than love.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is leave that job you hate, leave that partner your not happy with, leave those possessions your in debt up to your eye balls for and the house your never truly going to own until the day you make your last payment for in about 30 years time and go out into the world and find your true love.

I’m not just talking about ‘Partner’. Find the job you love, find the person you love, find the culture you love, eating the food you love, embracing all the aspects that come with having that love and watch how rich you become after it.

Then when you are rich of heart you will be rich in life and there is nothing more rewarding I can promise you than waking up next to the one you love in a job you love with a life you love.

Sure some days you might not have two pennies to rub together but if your belly is full and our warm and healthy who cares. As long as your living an honest life, where your honoring yourself. You deserve to have the best of everything if your prepared to work hard enough to seek it out,

Whether it is with millions in the bank or not. If you can write the chapters of your story where the experiences you have create the content where there laws of the Universe aren’t broken then live like each day like you’ve never seen it before. So much awaits us when you go looking for love.

Life is an adventure from the second your born.

Go out there and tell your story. Write each chapter as though it is your last and fill it with memories of all the things you got to love along the way.

Just make a promise to yourself to learn the difference between Love and Sexual Attraction, Education and Learning, Honor and Duty, Balance and Order. Life and Living, because only one of those in each selection is what’s wanted for us.

Love is the reason we exist. If our Galactic brothers and sisters were that dangerous they would of cleaned our clock a long time again. The fact they haven’t speaks volumes.

Spirit are the same. They could of gone about their business and left us to deal with death and Spiritual understanding on our own but they all help us because they want us to know the true meaning of the word Love.

Do what you do for the right reasons, and you’ll live thee most rewarding life you could ever imagine. When you have that confidence to love all things openly, nothing is more attractive. And nothing is more attracting. Like attracts like. It’s Universally understood. Like attracts like.

I spent 20 years working on myself. Writing my Chapters. Finding balance and now as I come to the end of my time as a Student. As I prepare for graduation and life with whatever Spirit have in store for me I do so with excitement and confidence. Because even when it’s been hard, I’ve hurt and suffered and been betrayed disrespected, used and abused and I’ve wanted to walk away, call it quits, start again and forget about it, I get up every morning to the greatest love I ever want to know beside me.

With the beautiful children he blessed me with, and the loving insanity of a cat he bought me, in the body he helped me nurture and repair, in a life that I love, helping the people I love through a gift that I love. Sure…..I’m mostly broke, and my clothes are falling off me lol (because I’ve lost so much weight) but my life is an adventure from the second I open my eyes. My journey as a Spiritual person of the purest form of Love and Light enables me to have adventures beyond space and time, in and around our planet and universe, because everything I do, and everyone I do it for, I do for Love.

Love………….is Universal. It creates and nurtures, in heals and mends, it inspires and develops, it builds and protects, it transforms and transcends, it balances and bends, it feeds and nourishes. It turns dark into light and enables. It opens up not just the world around you but the Universe as well.

I wish I could show you. I wish I could show you. Then you wouldn’t be so afraid to live your life as you.

Go out there and love. I promise you John Lennon was right.

Love…… all you need.

To The Loves of my Life, Mr, J Dub, Spirit and my Sons,

I can’t express to you enough how blessed I am to have you all in my life.

I love you all more than you will ever know. My life is rich because I have you in my life. You make my life rich and rewarding and you put up with me regardless of the fact I’m often throwing some of the most bizarre situations your way expecting you to have answers for me to help me understand what’s happening. I trust you with my life and most importantly I trust you with my gift.

You see the side to me I don’t share with anyone else because no one understands my gift the way you do. You never judge me. You my husbands often spend days pondering things I’ve told you in order to help me understand what’s happening to me and you both have never once doubted me.

Your the only people who know the things about my gift I dare not share with anyone. Things I would take to my grave. The stuff people just aren’t ready to hear or know about. You have patience with me and you never make me explain myself. Your the first people I go to when something new happens and the first two I go to when I need advice, help or just to talk. My life wouldn’t be half of what it is without you in my life and I just want to thank you for loving me the way you do.

I am rich because your my reward for everything I do along with my sons.

Everything I do, I do because I am loved by you and everything I am, I am because of you. I wouldn’t be what I am today without you in my life. Separately and together you give my life joy and balance.

I am the Master of my Universe and you are my Stars.

I love you and Thank you.


My Detox of Death and why it saved my life. (don’t read if your J Dub)

I’m kind of reluctant to write this post for two reasons.

  1. I’m scared people are going to copy me and end up in hospital and
  2. When my best friend reads this and some of the things I’m about to divulge I’m expecting a very public telling off. I’ve never made him angry in the 487 years he has been the 2nd love of my life and I know either my email or Skype is going to ring angrily after he reads this post. And he will read this post. lol

So you all know I’ve been battling with health issues for the last 5 years. I had meshes put in three times and my body has been rejecting them. I’ve developed a bacteria in my gut which makes me violently ill, gives me fevers and indescribable pain.

Because of this bacteria I have a higher chance of getting stomach cancer and when I’m not vomiting everything I eat, I’m doubled over in pain. I’ve almost lost my life twice because of it and at one point my body was so run down my body contracted Chicken Pox while in hospital and my immune system created it’s own skin bacteria the Specialist had never heard of before. I had to go on Immune Boosters for 12 weeks and it was the only thing that gave me strength to go on.

I was put in a High Dependency Unit and put into Quarantine. The only people allowed into the room were the people treating me and two nurses and cleaners who took shifts. People were coming and steering into the window to get a lot at the freak in the cordoned off room. I cried for days and it was a most humbling experience.

But while I was in there I got a wee visit from a Spirit nurse. She walked up to my bed in full 3D manifestation and said to me ‘Mrs Black? Good news, next year will be your year so just hang in there a little bit longer, we’re gonna get you out of this’.

Almost 12 months to the day, they did indeed ‘get me out of it’ and I’m going to tell you how. But before I do I’m going to put up a disclaimer.

I will not be held responsible for anyone who copies me and gets ill because if it. What I am doing is on the advice of my Spirits. The best Doctors in the world because I couldn’t rely on the NHS to do their job and fix me.

Every 8-10 weeks I have these bouts that used to put me in hospital for dehydration, pain, and fever. I had an infected Seroma that would flare and give me raging infections. My sister Mihi, who isn’t blood related but was the best friend of my beloved Paula growing up but she called my parents Mum and Dad and as far as I’m concerned she is my sister. Anywho she is the foremost expert on all things natural and herbal. Her alternative therapies and she told me about CDS, or Chloride Dioxide Solution.

I did some research and found a supplier in Australia. The Government are trying to ban it saying it is a poison but the Lancet Medical Journal are calling it the Medical find of the Century. It is curing all sorts of diseases by kind of making you purge from your body all heavy metals and toxins from your system on a molecular level. The trouble I had was that the antibiotics I was being put on, cleared the infection on top of the mesh but not between the meshes. They are microscopic and nothing was getting it inside the mesh.

I took the CDS for 2 weeks. Just a glass in the morning and it was disgusting. It smelt like  swimming pool and actually had no real taste. If you could get past the smell it wasn’t that bad. You only put 7 drops in the water. It stunk to high heaven but it did the trick.

I spent 2 weeks with gut wrenching diarrhea. I mean….I was never off the bowl. But I haven’t had an infection in 2 years now. No Fevers either.

But I still had the guts ache, severe pain, vomiting that would keep me awake all night and dizzying nausea. I’d be kept awake for weeks at a time with excruciating pain and every 4 weeks or so I’d not be able to get out of bed.

One of the biggest illnesses you get with these meshes is a condition called Fibro Mylagia. It is a painful condition that makes you thoroughly exhausted. Your joints get inflamed and sore and you get something called ‘Restless legs syndrome’ where you can’t keep our legs and feet still. Your constantly feeling the need to move them and it doesn’t matter if your sitting, laying or reclining. I always know when I’m going to have a Fibro attack because 2 weeks before I get saw neck, jaw, nape, shoulders. Not just achy sore, it’s literally sore to touch. It feels like your bruised and any slight touch makes it really painful. Even water from the shower on my skin can hurt.

All I want to do is sleep. I can’t eat, I ache all over and many many times I have had to run my home from my bed. My poor babies being sent downstairs to get me bottles of water and having adventures without me. In fact they were so used to me being stuck at home in bed they used to get disappointed if I came with them because they knew it meant we wouldn’t be doing anything fun because I could only walk so far before being in pain.

I was miserable. I just wanted my life back. I ballooned to 277 pounds. A Size 28-30 in clothes because while I wasn’t eating a lot of food, what I was eating wasn’t healthy because it was quick foods, loaded with sugar, fat and carbs. And because I wasn’t exercising I wasn’t burning any of it off.

I told you 6 months ago I had a visit from the Council. They told me I would be needed to work more. That more people would start needing my help and I needed to be prepared. They also said I was coming to the end of my training and my time as a student was coming to an end. And when that happens it means you begin a public career.

I told them that was ‘fine as long as they helped me get better and looking a little more presentable. I didn’t want to be out in public looking like someone had inflated a me through a valve near my butt lol They said they would be in touch and when they were ready I was to follow their every instruction. And this is the part I take no responsibility for should you follow my diet.

So 4 months ago they came to me with a list of things I was to buy and a list of instructions and guidelines I was not to deviate from.

I was to limit my diet to no more than 800 calories. I was to eliminate white flour, and milk from my diet. Cheese was fine as long as it was as low fat as possible.

I could eat as much fruit and meat as I wanted to but seeing as I only eat chicken and the occasional piece of fish it wasn’t really an issue for me.

I was to eliminate sugar completely. No sugar was to be eaten or added to my food. I could only get my sugar from natural sources. Like fruit, raisins and other dehydrated fruits.

I started the no sugar diet first, thinking it would be the hardest to kick and in terms of the effects it had on my body I’d say it was the one thing my body kicked up a fuss about. After 4 days of no sugar, I started to get headaches and while I’ve never had any cravings for the sugar I found myself feeling the need to snack more. In which case I ate brazil nuts, walnuts and popcorn (cooked by me in a pot with coconut oil)

I didn’t miss sugar or crave it. In fact within 5 days of having no sugar I found I began to sleep better, my skin was looking clear, no redness or puffiness on my face.

I started to drink Sparkling Mineral Water too and for some reason my brain really enjoys it because it tastes sweet. Like Fizzy Pop but it’s just water. I don’t know if the Carbonated part of it tricks my brain into thinking it’s pop but my husband and sons now drink it. I sometimes put juice in it so they think they’re having Fizzy Pop lol

After week 2 I felt feckin fantastic. I had so much energy I was exhausting my husband and sons out from all the walking I was doing.

I lost 14lbs in a week.

Then after week two they bought in the diet part.

I also started taking B12 vitamins and within 4 days got the feeling back in my feet and fingers again after 3 years of not feeling them. It really was a miracle. The voices in my head were starting to cure me of things hundreds of Doctors, Surgeons and Specialist didn’t have a clue over.

They would of wasted 10s of thousands if tax payer dollars on not fixing me. They all had an idea of what it could be. And I was misdiagnosed 3 times with Diabetes (which almost killed me while I was pregnant with Train), IBS and Tumors.

So the diet became this.

No more than 800 calories a day.

No butter, no marg. I can only eat low fat, zero sugar olive spread. Which is fine. I like it. My cheese is 50-70% fat free, my cottage cheese is fat free, I even have cheese spread which is fat free. It’s great on my Sesame Seed Ryvita crackers I have for lunch or a snack.

My bread is wholemeal, or Granary. It isn’t big slices but if I have cheese spread and cheese on it for breakfast it’s really very filling. No white flour what so ever.

I was to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner only if I felt hungry.

Some days I skip breakfast but I’ll have a coffee with coconut milk in it and maybe an apple and pear around 10-11am. Coconut milk is what I use for everything I consume. Apart from mash potato but I don’t eat it very often.

For lunch I can have a sandwich with say lettuce, cottage cheese, tomatoe and vegemite for example. Or if I have some left over chicken from dinner I’ll have chicken, cheese and zero fat mayo.

Then dinner. Which is whatever the family eat but if they have pasta or spaghetti or rice I eat wholemeal pasta, brown or basmati rice. My salt, soy sauce and gravy’s are low salt, low sugar. I had some tomatoe sauce the other day that wasn’t low sugar and salt and it was disgusting. I couldn’t eat it if it was on my food.

My taste buds have changed so much. Sugar coats your tongue with a slime that goes away after about 2 weeks and I promise you your taste buds will thank you for eliminating sugar.

Everything you eat tastes soooo much better. A bite of a home made burger or pizza is incredible. In one bite you taste every flavour. Your taste buds single them out one by one and you enjoy every flavour one by one. It has made me want to experiment with my cooking just because I want to see what certain things taste like.

Homemade Southern Fried Chicken is next. My Chicken Goujons are to die for.

I’m only allowed to eat if I’m hungry and if I’m peckish I’m only allowed my dried fruit, fruit, nuts and popcorn. I also have ‘Salt your own’ crisps too which are low salt, zero sugar and low fat.

If I have bread for toast I won’t have any more bread for the day. Basically though I eat what I’m told to when I’m told to.

I have a stack of brazil nuts, walnuts, peanuts, cashews, almonds, dehydrated fruit like raisins, cranberries, blueberries, mango, guava, etc….

All my food is grilled, oven baked or cooked in coconut oil. I have found that in doing my Detox of Death with nuts as my source of snackage and cooking my memory has started to return and I’m remembering the names of people and places I had forgotten for decades. Like High School teachers and birthdays etc….

Also the other thing I do is when I wake up before having anything to eat and drink I have a glass of apple cider vinegar. About 4 caps full in a half a glass of water.

My nails and hair are looking shiny and gorgeous, my skin is clear, not puffy, or red any more. It’s taut and smooth. I’ve always been blessed with good skin but now my skin is like it was when I was 17.

I’m full of energy again, my husband hasn’t had to take one day off this year for my illnesses. He has twice for my back or a Fibro day (before the detox) but not one day since. This is coming from a man who lost all of his holiday and sick days for 5 years because of me. He even had to take unpaid leave to help me never once complaining.

Befor, everything I did was from bed. All my house work was done bit by bit leaving the big things like hoovering to my husband who was already working 2 jobs as it was.

Now my house is always spotless because I have the energy to do it all myself.

I am sleeping so much better now. I used to get woken up constantly with pain, of feeling the need to vomit, or the other end sometimes 5-6-7 times a night. I was so inflamed in my gut and organs they would glow in the CT Scans. All my organs were twice the sized, engorged from the inflammation.

I used to feel my blood coursing through my veins. Like a torrential river. It burned so much.

In 4 months I have stopped vomiting. Stopped with the gut wrenching excruciating pain that made me feel like I was being stabbed. My guts would make these horrible sounds which always led to me being in agony within a day or two.

In four months, I have lost nearly 60 pounds. Weight loss is a part of Fibro Myalgia but I had nearly 12 stone to lose.

I have gone from a size 28-30 to a 18-20 which means I’m 2 stone away from being at my gorgeous pre pregnancy weight. I have long slender legs again, I have wrist bones, hip bones and slender arms again. I bought myself a gorgeous dress in a size 22 and it’s too big lol

I’m never hungry. Some days all I’ll have is Ryvita crackers with Cottage cheese and some fruit and I’m happy as a lamb.

I’m eating so healthy now that yesterday I stupidly had a piece of Domino’s BBQ chicken pizza and woke up this morning with sore joints and hay fever like symptoms so needless to say I won’t be doing that again.

I have no trapped wind, no nausea, I’ve stopped taking 80% of my medication.

Unfortunately I do still get pain of the ripping tearing adhesion type but once I can manage that I will be in perfect health.

I still have Fibro days but where as before they would have me bed ridden for up to 4 weeks but now it’s 2-3 days and that’s if I don’t have my Ganga.

I’m happier than I have ever been. I’m replacing ALL of my clothes and bringing out my pre-pregnancy clothing. I’m sleeping better and to be perfectly honest with you my libido is back and it’s back with a vengeance. My poor husband is being sexually accosted on a regular basis lol I think I’ve turned into a pervert with him lol He’s all I think about lol

I am more patient with my boys too. My blood pressure has returned to normal, my hands and feet are no longer swollen and I’m not retaining fluid and get this. I have done ZERO exercise. Apart from walking on the weekends or occasionally as a family we walk to the shop.

After 4 months I can no longer stomach the smell of sweeties and I’m only have supposed to have been on this Detox of Death for 3 months but I’m enjoying it so much I won’t ever stop.

I miss cups of tea but it’s not very nice with coconut milk but I’ll maybe use skim milk every now and then.

I’ve been testing myself on foods to see if I react to it in any way and so far it seems to be white flour, milk and sugar that are doing the most damage. So I’m avoiding it.

Not once have I had a craving for anything sweet. I miss nothing apart from Ice Cream BUT Icelands and Tesco sell this sugar free ice cream that is supposed to taste gorgeous so I’m going to try that.

If I do want something sweet at any point it is only allowed to be Dark Chocolate with the highest percentage of cocoa in it as possible.

It is incredibly healthy for you and is linked to some incredible medical benefits. Diet sweets or diabetic sweets often have Aspartame or other artificial sweetener in it.

I feel 22 again. I feel so good and my husband has been so impressed with what it has done to me he is wanting to try my detox of death so we are waiting on Spirit giving him his instructions.

They seem to know what you can and can’t eat better than even you do. They set my meal plan for the day when I get up so I know what I’m eating.

I actually look forward to eating now and enjoy every bite. I stop when I feel full, even if it’s half a plate. But I can’t stomach as much as I used to. I don’t have to eat more than my 800 calorie allowance. But I can’t go over.

I’ve only been over once and that was last night when I ate the pizza slice and boy did I pay for it.

I keep a journal so I can document all the foods that I’ve noticed a difference with. Bananas have been a bit of an issue I’ve noticed too.

I’m so grateful to Spirit. They have saved my life. I’ve never felt this good. And I get to go clothes shopping again. I am starting to dress all trendy again as opposed to looking 9 months pregnant. And you want to see my new shoes I’ve been buying. Nothing over £20 but I am actually wanting to take pride in my appearance again.

So I know J Dub is asking ‘Why would she worried I’ll get angry at her?’

And the answer is because I had 3 clients who became kind of friends who have started taking my friendship for granted. I worked out for one of the over the 3 years I’ve know me I have given away £10,640 quids worth of free readings and questions. I have another who has gotten £15,500 worth of free readings and questions in 2 years and another who has gotten £5000 worth of free questions.

I’m having to scrap and save my pennies together to buy my husbands birthday presents and these people got £36540 quids worth of work from me. When I told them this because I was so angry at how they were taking the piss out of me and my time neither apologized and one of them actually said ‘I don’t know why your so pissed off at me, can you hurry up and get over this tantrum of yours and get back to me please because I need your help and I can’t do it without you, this isn’t about you Debbie, this is about me.

So needless to say he and I no longer talk.

I’m not talking about people who come to me asking for help in dealing with a situation in their lives or home. I’m talking about people who got endless free readings and questions. Selfish people who would call any time night and day waking me up, interrupting my time with my family, even during readings with paying clients.

None of whom even had the decency to ask me if it was okay to call. Just people who would ring and make me stop doing what ever it was I was doing to answer me phone. However I’d never answer unless I wasn’t busy.

When I told these people that they were literally taking the shirts off my kids backs none of them battered an eye lid.

So no more. For them, the free ride is over. I still get the odd client trying to get a free question off me but I just don’t answer. Why them then?

Because I thought we were friends. I thought I was doing them a favour. I thought I was being a friend. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it.

But remember I said Spirit said I was coming to an end of my time as a student? It seems the last lesson is all about me. Working on me and ironing out the last chinks in my armour so to speak.

I’ve unloaded a lot of dead weight in my time on this last lesson.

Letting go of people, thoughts, fears and issues that were holding me back. They were three of them I guess.

One time i worked 100 hours just over a 10 day stretch and earned £90 because I was doing so many free readings. I refuse to take money from my husband though. How can I work 100 hours and be so broke?

And they just didn’t seem to care.

Don’t worry J Dub, it won’t happen again. And readers I’m not talking about questions in the forum or Blog. I will never stop helping you all and I’ll never charge for it.

I’m talking about readings, and questions where I’m having to use my gift to answer them as opposed to my knowledge. These were people who considered me a friend who took the ‘Never charge friends or family’ rule a little too literally.

I’m disgusted at them and their behaviour and pissed off at myself for being such a mug. I thought I was really good at spotting the takers and users but I never saw it coming from within.

One of them got a HUGE tax refund in the thousands too and never once offered to pay me. In fact I stayed up till 2.30am helping him with his issues and never even for a thank you. Now….you know this isn’t about the money. It’s not about the money. It’s about the fact that I’m working part time trying to make a name for myself and yes sometimes you have to give someone a free sample. That’s marketing.

What these people did was abuse the privilege in the name of friendship. Well this week I removed the friendships and never again will I allow myself to be taken for granted like that. The only friends I have now are friends who have proven time and time again they can be trusted. Friends who have done more for me than I have done for them that’s for sure.

People like J S, A T, P Y, etc…and of course my wonderful J Dub. The best boyfriend/second husband a girl could ask for. He’s the type of best friend you have pyjama parties with, sleeping on the floor watching movies and having snacks and doing each others nails and hair while he tells you that guy is a loser for dumping you and if he was my guy he’d totally go out with you proud to have you on his arm lol

So I’m going to run away now because I just saw him get on Skype and I know this means he is about to read my posts and I don’t want to be looking at him as he kicks my ass lol

I call it the Detox of Death because it was Death who put me on the Detox lol they created the meals and menus for me. They tell me what to eat and when. They tell me how to cook it and how to prepare it.

So if you try this detox please don’t hold me responsible if you collapse or get ill. I know my body inside and out and I know Spirit.

This detox won’t work if your not able to talk to Spirit because they give you the recipes and food ideas. They tell you which cereal to buy and which prunes to buy (I put them in my Bran Cereal for flavour because I can’t put sugar in it) sometimes I put in fresh berries or raisins, just like a tablespoon.

I’m eating a lot of brown lol but ya know what? this has been the easiest diet I’ve ever been on. It hasn’t been hard one bit. Not once have I felt like going back to my normal diet. I’m always full and I’ve never felt so alive and when I reach my target weight I promise you I’m going to post a before and after photo.

Oh and one more thing. You HAVE to try fresh percolated coffee with Alpro Coconut Milk. You will never drink normal coffee again. My husband is so impressed he is doing my Detox too. Basically my body is getting not starved but deprived of certain things to kick start itself into normality again and it has worked.

I haven’t been to the Doctor once. I have however been buying nice lingerie………grrrrrrrrr hahahahahaha

And my gift has grown at an exponential rate.

And I’m so unbelievably happy.







Smudging and why it should never be done regularly

I know I know, but people on TV do it all the time. Well my answer to that is, the people on TV are mostly idiots who are teaching some very dangerous and BAD habits.

I know it’s cool, all these Paranormal Investigation shows on TV. They seem to easy to emulate but I’ve yet to see one of them Investigate correctly.

If I had a show on TV I would explaining the dangers and uses for everything you see in an Investigations.

I know my Photographer and Graphics expert husbands pet peeve for these shows are the people who catch ‘green stringy lights and orbs’ with their cameras.

One of them was investigating a prison that was lit up with green lighting along the cells and when she took her photo there were green swirls of light in the picture.

I have had to stop watching these shows especially My Ghost Story because 99.9% of the anomalies caught on camera is because the person stood with camera or phone in their hands.

You must NEVER take photos with your hands. Your camera should be perched on a ledge, chair or tripod because there is just too much room for era with a hand held exposure. Most people don’t put their camera on the right setting either so lights will get drawn out and over exposed looking like swirls and orbs. They can even be under exposed making shadows appear where there weren’t any light source with the naked eye.

So if you see ‘Ghost’ photos and the person was standing holding the camera you can pretty much throw it out. It is tainted evidence.

The other thing is Smudging.

Smudging is done to clear the room, house, area or person of negative or unwanted energy.

But never never never Smudge every day, every week or even every month.

Smudging should only be done once a year if that. Twice…..maybe.

If you salt your threshold to the doors that enter your home you never need to smudge.

Smudging doesn’t just remove the unwanted energy but it removes the wanted Spirits too. Not your Spirit Elder but the Spirits protecting you, loved ones, Resident Spirits and the ones drawn to your energy all get removed.

I couldn’t imagine my life without the Spirits that pass by me every day. You just need to stop being afraid of the Spirits that are around you.

It’s harsh but it’s true. If you stopped being afraid of everything and educated yourself a little better then you’d stop being afraid and wouldn’t need to smudge.

You don’t have to invite them in for cups of tea and braid each others hair but if they aren’t hurting you and aren’t doing anything to make you ill or unhappy then you simply need to toughen up and educate yourself.

I need you all to start trusting me with this. I’d never lead you astray. Everything I do is to help you and if I don’t do it then you don’t need to either.

Everything I teach you, I’m teaching my children and will teach any students I am lucky enough to get. And I’m telling you that regular smudging keeps everything you don’t want away as well as everyone you do want. Including loved ones on the other side.

Get to know what is going on with you. Learn to understand what is happening to you and you’ll start to deal with things so much better.

Smudging is for extreme cases only. If you salt your thresholds then nothing will come near you unless invited.

If your doing things that open you up or send signals to Spirit then you can’t complain when they answer you back. It is totally not fair on Spirit if you ‘open up the lines of communication’ and then get scared and don’t want to answer them.

Your asking for this stuff to happen so why is it fair that you then have to smudge them away because you weren’t ready?

People need to stop doing this to Spirit. Its not fair. You don’t have any idea how hard it is for them to be around you even as an energy and your all wanting to have these experiences on our terms and it doesn’t work like that.

These Souls just want to love you and help you and tell their story. Some just want to be acknowledged because a Spirit that isn’t remembered has to be reincarnated and while they love the adventure it hurts them to know their lives meant nothing to people.

It doesn’t matter if they died 300 years ago and have no connection to you what so ever, if your reading their name on a head stone or in a book, if you know they are there and you acknowledge them you instantly draw them to you. Just like that movie The Book of Life.

I LOVE that movie. I’m buying in DVD I love it SOOOO much because what they say in it is true.

If you remember the dead it keeps them alive. If they aren’t remembered their no longer able to exist which is why I love my culture.

Maori people honour their dead in the best possible ways. And it keeps our ancestors alive. Which is why when we need the courage and strength needed for battle or in my case my gift, I call on my ancestors first.

Our Haka Kamati Kamati is all about that very thing.

If you know Rugby then you’ll know the All Blacks and before each game we do the Haka for our enemy or opponent.

They stand on the ground as hard as they can, to wake up the dead. Then they ask for their ancestors to come up through the ground and rise up through their bodies to give them the strength of their ancestors.

So primitive man knows the importance knew the importance of remembrance.

And like I say over and over and over again, if you ask for protection from Spirit and the Ancestors every night before bed there is NOTHING that will be allowed to come even near you if it is anything other than of Love and Light.

You underestimate the power of Family. Spirit love you regardless of whether they were related in life or not but if they were related genetically even 200,000 years ago, then No THING or no ONE will be allowed anywhere near you without feeling the wrath.

Blood is thicker than water even in Spirit. So stop being so dramatic people.

Protect yourself, salt your thresholds and start saying Hello to the wonderful souls who love you so much they choose to be with you over living.

Death is nothing to fear. Spirit are nothing to fear.

If your a good person and you have a faith in something that gets you through the hard times then you have nothing to fear from the Dark Side.

The only go after victims who they see as being weak and vulnerable.

The easy targets. If you change your perception of what is negative then you’ll realize even being scratched or pushed isn’t an Evil Spirit.

I’m seriously thinking of writing a book called A Dummies Guide to The Dead lol it will be an Encyclopedia of all things Spirit. Educating people on what its all really about. Basically this Blog in Book form. Once I can get people thinking along the same lines as me, the world will be a much better place and then people the The Ghost Hunters and the rest of them can stop exploiting the dead. (I love Ghost Adventures though, they still get the best evidence however I’ve stopped watching since they started getting more people involved in the show. It’s always better to do an investigation with the least amount of people involved and it’s kind of become an Investigative Free for all lately)

I’d LOVE to do my own show. It would be educational as well as entertaining. lol You know there would be some laughs lol

I’d just need to get over my fear of being on TV and being around strangers lol

If your wondering if it’s you I’m talking about….if I’m still talking to you…….it’s not you.
These people got emails from me discussing why I would no longer be getting my help.
If you never got an email from me…it’s not you.



Granddad, and the sins of the past.

If your a follower of mine. I mean a true follower who reads every post I write and know it inside and out you’ll know everything I write about is true.
Actual events, actual lessons, real memories and abilities.
I do this to educate people. To help them understand life, and death with Spirit and The Universe guiding me and how I do and know things.
I don’t honestly know any living or dead person who knows Death and the After Life more than anyone else out there.
Everything I learn I pass on to you. So you can understand the rules and regulations of Spirit and The Universe.
What I am about to tell you is about one man. And his battle with his death, his passing and why just because you have killed people, it doesn’t mean your going to be held accountable for it in death.
If you have any questions about this story I’ll be glad to answer them but to protect my family I will not be using any names.

My husbands Granddad, who next to my own Father, has to have been one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.
I didn’t have a close relationship to my Father but professionally he was the best Soldier I ever knew or read about.
You all know my In Laws would sooner I was dead. Or in the least that my husband would see sense and leave me.
But Not Granddad, or his beautiful wife.
Sadly we lost Granny 7 years ago. I only met her the once but she told my husband I was a keeper.
I guess because of my pure white skin and auburn, brown hair.
She said she was expecting to meet a monster with two heads but got a Celt who looked like ‘the highlands in Autumn’.
She passed away soon after.

Granddad was not Granny’s first husband. Her first husband was an angry abusive man who treated her like shit. One day when my Father in law and his brother come from School they witness him beating Granny with a big glass ashtray and they gave him a doing and kicked him out and he was never seen again.

Granddad had known Granny since they were at school together. She was in his opinion ‘The Love of his life’.
They reconnected, married and stayed loyal to each other until Granny’s passing.
They had one child together but Granddad raised my Father in law and his 4 siblings as is own.
They loved him, adored him even. He was the only Father they knew and wanted.
They started calling him Dad almost immediately after he married Granny.

Granddad passed away on Monday. His funeral is next Friday.
My husband was extremely close to him and he is heart broken. We knew Granddad was dying. But of course it still hurts him.
I cry for my husband, and for the great man that has now joined his beloved wife in Spirit.
But his passing was a long one because he was too afraid to die because as a teenager in the war he killed a lot of men.
In fact Granddads war history is fascinating. So fascinating I felt compelled to tell his story with my husband permission. Because his is a prime example of ‘Sins according to the Bible and religion not necessarily being a sin according to Spirit’ and how if you spend your life making up for your sins (I use the word sin to highlight the religious severity of it as according to the bible and your Priests, Ministers Preachers etc…)

Granddad was a boy solider. He lied about his age and became a Paratrooper at the age of 16.
He fought along side the Maori Battalion and Anzacs. Much so that the day he met me he actually greeted me the Maori way.
He gave me a Hongi and spoke only in Maori. It was feckin awesome.
His own family didn’t know he knew Maori.

It was during his time as a Para after the war was over that he got accepted into the worlds most elite fighting force the SAS.
There is NO other Regiment as respected as the SAS.
My Dad actually got accepted twice but why he never went ahead of it I can only assume it was because Mum put her foot down.

Granddad was stationed in Borneo where he ingratiated himself into the Jungle Tribes where he learned to speak the native language. He could also speak Erdu, Chinese and Malay.
He told stories of drinking tribal ceremonial teas out of human skulls and having to go deep into the jungle to remove the bad guys that were killing villagers and causin a lot of headaches internationally.

But it was during his time in WW2 I want to talk about.
When Granddad was 19 he was put in charge of the executions of Japanese Generals and Warn Criminals.
The ones who ordered the slaughters and death marches of tens of thousands of Commonwealth, Anzac and American POWS.

He had to guard them and then prepare them for execution before actually executing them.
These men did horrible, unspeakable things to men who were simply fighting for the freedoms of every man woman and child on the planet.
If people like Granddad hadn’t of done what they did, my country New Zealand was 3 days away from being invaded because the Japanese had run out of food and supplies and with New Zealand being 99% Agriculturally self sufficient, we were the best and closest country to invade.

Granddad unfortunately developed a very close relationship with one of his prisoners. A Japanese Imperial Army General who told Granddad he never would hold him responsible for his death.
And just before he was executed he presented Granddad with his diary, his medals and family photos.
He still has them to this day. I would LOVE to see these items returned to the wife and family of this Japanese General. But it’s certainly not my place to say anything. I just think it’s the right thing to do.

Anyway, my husband was a delicate child according to his family who didn’t have the intelligence, ability or understanding to recognize my husband for what he was which was an intellectual with a gift for art.
They told me once they simply didn’t know how to handle him because he never wanted to go outside and play, he never wanted to make friends and all he wanted to do was sit quietly and draw.
Unlike his brother who was a terror who played soccer with his mates, getting up to typical boy stuff.

But Granddad and Granny would have my husband with them every day for lunch because they were close to the school.
They knew he was miserable being at school, sitting alone during lunch and stuff so they had him there every day from when he was a child right up until College (Uni).
He also spent every weekend there because apparently from the week after he was born his parents needed ‘alone time’ together. I mean who does that?
They set up a trust fund for my husband and his brother just after they were born and gave them the money when they were 16 so they could buy the ‘tools for their trade’ to help them start their careers. This was in the days of apprenticeships and they assumed he would be a Plumber or something like this Dad. He bought a computer and thus began his training to make video games.
They were directly responsible for my husbands successful career making video games.
They were the only ones who supported his career decision and the only family members who gave him the love and confidence he needed to be what he is now.
Unlike his parents who let him be put into the class for ‘Intellectually Handicapped’ kids for 2 weeks before they realized he was in there. All because he didn’t want to play with kids, but draw. But I just get angry so I’ll move on.
Besides which this isn’t about them and the selfish people they are.

This is about Granddad.

Granddad shares no DNA with my husband, his brother or his Father and Uncles. But he loved those kids 4 as though they were his own.
Granny became confined to a wheelchair about 30 years ago and even in his 70’s and 80s Granddad would push his Sweetheart everywhere.
If you know Edinburgh at all you’ll know that everything in Edinburgh is up hill. Even going down hill is going up hill. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. If you go down a hill road in Edinburgh and look back you’ll realize your actually going up hill from the other end lol
And he would push her everywhere. He wouldn’t hear of anyone taking care of his Beloved Childhood Sweetheart.

I’ll never forget at my Father in Laws wedding to his second wife, watching Granddad play with his name sake Great Grandson (my Robot) who was by then 8-9 months old.
He was sitting Robot on his knee and teaching him how to use is walking stick like a rifle lol
Robot thought it was the coolest thing and I personally think it is what triggered Robots love of all things military.

He was also trying to teach Robot how to do a Parachute drop, tuck and roll off the chair and had to be stopped by his daughter because he was in his 80s and was starting the earliest stages of Alzheimer’s. But it was so funny lol it was his ‘party trick’.

A few years ago Granddad was diagnosed with Cancer, and he had to be put in a home because he could no longer look after himself.

We were told 2 months ago he didn’t have long left so we began to prepare ourselves for the worst.
It was during this time my husband and I began to have special ‘encounters’ with Granddad.
Which I think has helped my husband deal with his grief.

A couple of weeks ago Granddad started visiting my husband in his sleep.
Saying Goodbye to his beloved first born Grandchild.
And Granny was coming to me. She was telling me that Granddad was afraid to let go because he feared what would happen to him when he passed over because of the lives he took during his time in the war.

I told my husband that he was not only giving his family time to say their goodbyes but he was giving himself time to prepare for his ‘judgement’ on the other side.

He was so afraid of going to a bad place that when my husband told me the same thing I knew something had to be done.
So one night I went to Granddad in his sleep and I told him what was going to happen to him after he died.
I never told my husband this but I was shown the things Granddad was remembering and hearing his thoughts so much so at one point I didn’t even realize I was talking with a Scottish accent lol
Anyway I explained to Granddad in this ‘conscious dream’ that in the eyes of Spirit, when your faced with a ‘Kill or Be Killed’ situation, you are never held accountable.
I explained (with Spirit by my side telling me what to say) that he was a child who was made to do things that while they would be morally questionable outside of war time were completely necessary during war time.
If Granddad and men like him didn’t fight the Japanese, my country wouldn’t exist today as New Zealand. We would be a Japanese Island.
They were less than 72 hours away from invading my country.
They had to be stopped.
War doesn’t apply to the list of Sins if it’s a kill or be killed situation.
Only if you kill for the sport or fun of it is it an issue.
You know the ones I mean? Those soldiers that lose the plot and kill babies and collect the ears of their fallen enemy.
The ones we all read about in the news a few years ago. The ones who tormented their Iraqi and Afghani prisoners who were actually normal civilians.
The soldiers who killed those journos and kids in those vans believing them to be ‘enemy’ then laughed and mocked when they realized it was children and civvys.
These are the ones who need to worry.
And of course, the Politicians who created the wars and allowed them to happen.

Granddad needed to know that for the handful of things he had to do during the War he more than made up for during peace time.
It is said he has never once been heard saying a bad word about anyone.
He had the respect of the POWs he had to execute and he worked hard raising children that weren’t his, as much as the one that was.
He was the kindest, most honest most real person you could ever meet and he very quickly put his son and daughter in law in their place as soon as they tried to ‘poison him and Granny with lies about me and my husband.

He was afraid to die because he though he would go to Hell.
I showed him Granny waiting for him. I explained that she was right beside him every minute of every day as were his brothers and Military buddies, and his parents.
When he passed away on Monday night, he had his wife at his side, all his comrades he had lost in the war and most importantly, every single solider he killed was with him as well.
I saw Granddad the night before he passed, and his Japanese General was right beside him, holding his hand.

Next Friday we bury a very much loved Father, Grandfather, Great Grandfather, Friend and Comrade.
And I know for a fact there will be literally thousands of people at his Farewell.
Most will be in Spirit, and all will be along side him.
I don’t know one Spirit who hasn’t watched their own Funeral.

But my reason for telling you this is because I know a few of my readers are Ex Military and I just wanted to say this.

If you kill in defense or for protection, and the greater good, your not going to be held accountable. Sure your gonna have to come back down again if you don’t use the rest of your time on earth wisely.
But Granddad did more than enough to make up for what he had to do and even the men he executed didn’t hold him accountable and I explained this to Granddad.
Anything you do as a child can be forgiven if you make amends while your still living.
As long as it wasn’t done for money, power, fame or success nothing you do after will matter when you cross over..
One of my Uncles was in Vietnam and when he returned he spent his entire life in the Ministry helping people.
We have all done things we aren’t proud of.
Maybe not to the extent of a Soldier during war time but all of us will die and when we are preparing for death we will look back on our ‘sins’ and regrets from our life time.
If you can look back on them and know that after they were done you spent your life making amends for what you did.
If you used these mistakes to make you a better person then in death you have nothing to fear.
If it was a short part of your long history and everything you did after that was as a good citizen of the Universe, Spirit to NOT hold you accountable.
You might have to be reincarnated but as a Learning Soul, you would welcome the education but Granddads glitch was 5 years out of his 80 plus year history.
The men who sent him to war and created the war would have more to fear than the soldiers like Granddad who fought for the idea of Freedom.

Your more than likely going to get into trouble for walking away from your children than you would for killing someone during war time if it was a kill or be killed situation because war makes good people have to do bad things.
Only until we unite as one to refuse to go into battle will we ever stop wars from happening. And it will happen.
The men and women who start these wars will have no one to fight for them if we all tell them NO. But I’m going off on a tangent now.

Within minutes of me getting the call from my heart broken Husband that Granddad had gone, I got a visit.
We was in Uniform, he was standing with his Sweetheart, hand in hand and surrounding him were about 1000 Spirits.
Some dressed in Kilts and the full Scottish Regimental Regalia, some were dressed in Anzac Uniform, some had Maori Grass Skirts on, Some were dressed in French Uniform, some in British Army Green and most importantly a lot were in Japanese Imperial Army Uniforms.
The General he had to execute, was standing by his side.
I’ve ever seen someone who has just died look so at peace.
The smile on his face went from ear to ear.
If he had of been considered a Sinner, he wouldn’t of been able to come through to me.

What MAN considers a sin is very different to what Spirit consider a sign.
For example: If some steals food to feed his hungry children, will not be a Sinner in Spirit.
Anyone who kills in self defense, is not a sinner.
Anyone who lies to protect his family is not a sinner.
Anyone who does something to protect the innocent is not a sinner.
And as long as you know what you did was wrong and make amends for it during your life time, will never be held accountable for it in death.

Next Friday, we say Goodbye to a great man. A much loved and respected man.
So much so I know that his service will be full of the living and the dead, all paying tribute to a man who made it his life’s work to love, protect and honour his fellow man.

My husband has asked my permission to honour him the way we Maori do after an Unveiling. Which is we spend some time doing things the loved one did in life. When we lost Dad we drank and ate, sang and danced.
When we lost Mum we went up into the hills and camped in cabins (it would of been actual camping but Hubby and I had come from Liverpool, England and didn’t have any camping gear so we stayed in Cabins instead).

So, if your reading this and you know you’ve done things your not proud of. Stuff the law or society deems a Sin, don’t worry. It’s never too late to make amends.
You might not be able to get forgiveness from those your hurt or did wrong to (but if you can that would be even better).
All you have to do is make a change now. Do good now. Admit your mistake, apologize, make amends now.
Because it really does count when you die.
Don’t spend your last days dying in fear. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just that you do it.
Religion has no right to tell anyone what to feel and is responsible for so much of a dying persons fear.
So do something about it now. It’s never too late and it really does make a huge difference to what happens as you die and after you’ve crossed over.

In Loving Memory of a Great Man.
We love you Granddad.

P.S Lucky for us, we don’t have the worry of knowing we’ll never see him again and while I didn’t know him well, my husband adored him and any man who loved my husband like his own, has my love and respect in return.
I can honestly say I don’t think my husband would of turned out quite the same if Granddad hadn’t of been such a huge influence in my husbands life.
He was also the only man in his life who gave my husband his approval to marry me.
He quite honestly put his Son’s behaviour to shame in my opinion.
As my Father in Law hated me so much he apparently told many people he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as me.

But again, this isn’t about him. It’s about Granddad.

Thank you for reading this. It keeps our loved ones memories alive and by our side when you think of them.

Love and Light
Spirit Child

Bradley T: Guest Writer. Being Maori with a gift

 I thought I’d shake things up a bit for your entertainment. A little insight into what it is like being Maori with a gift. You know my side of it. Now hear from someone else.
Fate bought me Bradley. I call him Brother. We are not related but we are kin because we both grew up on a Pacific Island Paradise where Tribal Protocols are still adhered to to this day. We get Mana from our culture and it’s why even after not living in New Zealand for nearly 15 years I wouldn’t give up my passport for any country on the planet. I am Kiwi. I am Ngati Raukawa and I am Aotearoa through and through. But enough about me. Let’s here from my Brother Bradley Tutua. Any questions you have for him I am sure he would be happy to answer. Enjoy a different perspective.
It is with great irony I state that after 38 years of growing up in an environment where WAIRUA(SPIRIT) was accepted and the norm like drinking a cup of tea! My true journey of understanding has only just begun. Yes it sounds weird, but I now recognize and understand the fact that you can have a lifetime of “EVENTS” & “HAPPENINGS” but in those exact moments you may not have had the tools to glean the learning’s of those experiences. This is just my story,my truth, nothing else. Treat it as you will, as I am happy just writing for an audience of one. Often in the recollection of memories there are “TREASURES” their! little nuggets of information waiting to be discovered, gathered and polished. I invite you in fact to laugh,cry,ridicule,believe or disbelieve to your hearts content! What matters to me is that somewhere in my story there might be a  “NUGGET” waiting just for you? that could aid you on your own journey of spiritual discovery. I am from New Zealand and of Maori and English Descent, Who am I?
Ko Putauaki toku Maunga (Putauaki is my Mountain)
Ko Ohinemataroa toku Awa (Ohinemataroa is my River)
Ko Mataatua te Waka (Mataatua the Canoe)
ko Ngati Awa te Iwi (Ngati Awa the Tribe)
Ko Ngai Taiwhakaea te Hapu (Ngai Taiwhakaea the Family)
Ko Te Paroa toku Marae (Te Paroa is my Sacred Place)
Ko Taiwhakaea Turua te whare Tupuna (Taiwhakaea II the Ancestral House)
Ko Brad toku ingoa (I am Brad)
I acknowledge my mountain as this anchors me to the land, then my river that allowed my ancestors great canoes access to this land, I then acknowledge the land for providing a home for my ancestors, I am Brad KIA ORA. A month ago I would have been unable to provide you this simple traditional greeting, but I have been on such a rapid-fire spiritual awakening that I appear to be getting “Taught” every lesson I need to progress at once! Its Crazy. But I’m getting ahead of myself, I will tell that part of my story later. I wont apologize for my story jumping all over the place either, as I’m a “MAN” and It often takes me countless accidents before i figure things out. Again I will reiterate that you often don’t recognize the lesson till your memory tracks back (I posses a memory like your own Debbie).
I am the youngest of four children and growing up we were your typical 80’s working class family. Dad worked, yet our Mum was the BOSS of our household (She ruled with Iron fist) which is an achievement as she’s south of 5’feet. Though 1/2 Maori herself mum raised us “English style” courtesy of her English mother our NAN the creator of “IRON FIST”. We didn’t know Granddad as Nan kicked him out and raised their 10 children by herself.  I had been told by mum that after our births it was customary for Nanny Toots (dads mum) to give us children the “ONCE OVER”. Mum said that after my sisters birth and my own several years later she was informed that we both possessed what Nanny toots termed “THE EYE”, mum thought it cryptic but our DAD passed it off as “OLD PEOPLE STUFF”. My Dads family were OLD SCHOOL! they Lived of the land, they rarely spoke English and they seemed to have a KARAKIA (prayer) for every act under the sun, they just had that AIR of MYSTERY, KNOWING and MISCHIEF about them! its kind of hard to explain. Though poor in wealth they were rich in Maori culture and custom. Dads family homestead was on the crest of a low slung hill it has always had this amazing vibe, we kids just called it “THE TOP” (how original). Now Dad had 12 siblings and many of them are regarded as being either Tohunga (shaman), Matakite (Seers), or Healers,  All are well known locally,and a couple recognized Nationally and Internationally respectively through there work with WAIRUA(SPIRIT). I have only recently learnt that my dad was supposed to be “THE ONE” of the lot! but he scuppered as soon as he was able too apparently. I can see now looking back that the expectation and his experiences growing up were possibly too much for him. We had controlled contact with Dads family, I guess it was his way of trying to protect himself and give us kids a real world upbringing no WAIRUA stuff. He was the greatest dad he could do everything sing,dance,hunt,fish,joke,cook,clean,played sport,build anything,fix everything and he provided us massive amounts of love to boot. But I now recognize as with a lot of talented people that he poured all of what we Maori call MAURI (ESSENCE) into the physical world (Taha Oranga) and left none for the spiritual side (Taha wairua) that he feared. Me, I think simplistically there is a paradigm for living between the physical and spiritual worlds, we all exist somewhere on this scale. Enlightened individuals can navigate easily through both realms in balance and harmony! people like myself if not cautiously dipping their toe in the spirit realm….fall in when not paying attention lol. Others like some of my uncles and aunts spent so much time immersed in SPIRIT that they often neglected their physical side (i often pondered if this is how the ideals of a WITCH or HERMIT were born?) sorry Aunties. And then there are people like my dad….They excel and are so powerful and Present on this side, that when things go “BUMP” on the other? Well I will let you decide.
Classic DAD scene 1: My sister recounted this memory for me from when she was young. My dad was a shift worker so he often came home early in the morning while we kids geared up for kindergarten and school he would sleep. My sister was crook so she stayed home and slept in mum & dads bed as we kids often did. Mid morning Dad wakes up and told my sister he thought he could hear a guitar playing? she said “yeah it’s your one under the bed that’s been playing”….apparently he tore of the blankets and fled shrieking outside and left my sister inside.I had a chuckle thinking about it because my dads your prototypical Maori male he is massive over 6 feet tall and probably 270 pounds! while my sister at the time would have been a small blonde waif.
Classic DAD scene 2: Another Sis recollection, Mum was working late one evening and said she would bring home dinner for us kids! Apparently we kids were being antsy and pestering dad about being hungry. My sister said he ended up putting on an impromptu performance to entertain us, along the lines of wait and see when I clap my hands mum will walk in the door with your food….He put on a couple flourishes and fake outs to get the anticipation up! then let rip…..Apparently a split second afterwards everything in our house just turned off (only our house on the street). Needless to say he bundled us kids in the car and drove us around town until mum came home.
In typical Maori fashion a Tohunga’s services were often not requested! they just turned up at your door or wherever they had been “instructed” to go, they then proceeded to inform you about problems “YOU” had been experiencing either personally, in the house or on the land, they would perform Karakia (prayer) to Lift-close-pass over or bless, usually with minimal or no explanation then they would leave…It was uncanny but accepted. So surprise surprise when my sisters “LIGHTS” started turning on (gifts manifesting) at a young age, Dads siblings either rocked up and took my sister away to be “CLOSED” or Nanny Toots would ring (ALL HOURS) and tell Dad to bring her “UP”. I know that they were performing exactly what they themselves were taught! you were “CLOSED OFF” until such a time they deemed you ready to handle your gift, however my sister was one of those rare cases they couldn’t “CLOSE” though they tried repeatedly. The fallback teaching mechanism i learnt if they couldn’t close you was to instill the “FEAR OF GOD” into you, so you wouldn’t dabble or make mistakes. Not very user friendly but effective…I can see now there was a control element to what was taught back then! Our KAUMATUA (elders) were a superstitious lot and it was heavily ingrained in the Psyche that the Maori form of SPIRIT was fraught with DANGER so they guarded their knowledge closely.
My sister has always been able to see SPIRIT and she just knows shit she shouldn’t lol. I have countless memories of her GIFT…Our family having a picnic at the river and us boys deciding to jump in for a cool off, only for our sister to turn around to Dad and say ‘there are some Maori people across the other side of the river Dad they are calling for me to swim across” we all couldn’t see anything, but needless to say shortest no-swim decision ever. Or going to the beach on holiday with our extended family and having a great swim in some massive surf! My mother questioned aloud from the beach if it were safe…My sister pointed behind mum and said the Maori people buried here in the sand dunes reckon we will be OK….again we Swimmers literally raced out of the water.   We are as tight as siblings can be my sister and I considering there is several years between us and that we live at different ends of the country. Recently we discussed what happened from the period in time her gifts first popped up so I could share some of these memories with you, Much to both our surprise, I was present at many of her visits to “THE TOP”, I would have been around 3 years old when it started, But more importantly I could remember details and conversations better than her! We both recognized the fact that we had 2 brothers that just never came up to the homestead with us, and in their own words they didn’t believe in that “GHOST BUSTING” shit (didn’t stop them from being scared though)  ha ha. I guess I was just meant to be there.
In her first telling my sister vividly remembers being sat down in a room on a chair at the homestead with Dads brothers performing Karakia and splashing water over her! (water to Maori being regarded as one of the foundations of life was often the vehicle to cleanse or bless)..She was terrified! she couldn’t understand Maori, and Dad had remained outside as he was just as scared…She states matter of fact she remembers her Chair lifting off the ground and one of our uncles forcibly placing his hands on her shoulders to keep her down (fuck that). We found out a few years later when one of our uncles confided in us (Bless him),that they all could see a Lizard completely wrapped about my sister its head on her shoulder snarling at them with huge yellow eyes! it was extremely powerful and they thought too powerful to belong to one so young so they had tried to remove it….They in fact learnt later this was one of my sisters KAITIAKI (spirit guardians) they would of had better luck removing the moon lol…I guess the positives were that there were great learning’s to be had for all involved.
My dad told us kids this story about when he was a growing up at the family homestead “The top”. At that time we laughed and treated it as fantasy! (its much easier that way) bare in mind that we were young and had been raised on Disney books and nursery rhymes. He said for as long as he could remember things just happened at that house! They (he and his siblings) would hear strange noises and see lights outside at night. Things would be moved and items would go missing…But here’s the clincher! he readily said that they could see little people mucking about outside at night on occasions. He described vividly for us this ugly little dwarf creature that used to tap on the window pane and pull faces at them, when they told our Nanny Toots or Pop they weren’t ridiculed they were just told to ignore them. He went on to explain how one day them kids where playing ball outside and one of his brothers smashed their bedroom window by accident! he told us to a man that you could feel the collective fear emanate from the group…of course they would get “Belted” by Pop that was a give me, But dad said the bigger implication for them was the fact that there would be no barrier between them kids and that CREATURE!  he said it was the longest-scariest night of his life. This story stirred another memory for me and another visit with my dad and my sister for her to be “worked on” and provided one of those “NUGGET” moments in life. I was sitting beside my sister and one of my Uncles turns to her and raised his hand palm outwards and asked my sister what she “SEES”..She replied straight out a white cross with light beaming towards her! of course I heard what was said but I was young if it wasn’t sweet and I couldn’t eat it! it didn’t interest me…Though after this I remember my sister asking why “THEY” including herself were Gifted? My uncle explained to her that directly above the homestead was a spiritual portal that was sanctioned to be there from an accord struck many years ago (I know very fantastical) . Wairua(spirit) can come and go freely through this portal and even beings from outer space! I was a HE-MAN masters of the universe kid so I was heavily impressed by that last statement.
Another time another visit one of the few my mother actually came too! My sister and I in talking this memory through realized that through our life that our mother was far more accepting and supportive of the spiritual path despite having absolutely no experience with it! She was a rock…She said she trusted and loved Nanny Toots! and would do what needed to be done to keep us safe…..My DAD just provided full on love and heaps of laughter his way of coping with Wairua. Anyway on this particular visit we were sitting in the lounge with our uncles and Aunties! My sister and I were with DAD and our mum was across the room from us! My uncles were introducing KAITIAKI (guardians)…which was very entertaining to me! So and so has a Maori Chief, another has this RED INDIAN……I then hear one of my aunties scream and holler from the kitchen what the hell is that? My uncle running the show pacifies her and explains that his guide METATRON informs him that it is a STAR person here to represent my sister! again I thought this was awesome my uncle had a guide that sounded like a transformer (how unoriginal) and my sister had an ugly Alien as a guide ha ha ha…..though that alien would have been just as scarred by meeting dads sister lol…I have to say that my dads family had the funniest sense of humor for people that regularly dealt with SPIRIT. Anyways my Uncle gets to my mother and says you have a Lady from Maori Royalty here to support you! My dad turns and jokingly whispers quietly to my sister and I that she is probably an” old duck”…we share a giggle, Dads brother out of Earshot without turning says “She wants to know how you can tell how old she is?”…lol…My dad true to form scuppers outside tale between legs ha ha.
I can look back now and see that maybe it is no fluke my dads siblings being “TOUCHED” due to their proximity to this PORTAL! and now that all those fantastic stories we were told growing up….are not so entertaining that there is an element of TRUTH to them….Bugger. My sister and I are conscious of the fact that my Dads family being as gifted as they were, recognized and stated readily that just like “HARRY POTTER” our gifts were present from both sides of our family! In fact they seemed to be in complete AWE of our mothers Maori lineage. I will leave off, that with what I experienced firsthand with my sister, that when “STUFF” started happening to me in my early teens….I told no one! Guess i shared a few of my fathers Traits too…..And being armed with the half teachings and learning’s from my sister I just managed it. But I guess that’s another story.